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Why I Rented-a-Crowd of Misinformed Protesters

Syndicated Soap Actor: Nu Zullin’s prime minister comes with strings attached. Photo/Artwork: Tatooine Pirate Media

Syndicated Soap Actor: Nu Zullin’s prime minister comes with strings attached. Photo/Artwork: Tatooine Pirate Media

Words by Steve Edwards

With sagely insight, Nu Zillun’s foremost Infallible Expert on Everything, prime minister John Key, opined that protesters who demonstrated in nationwide rallies across the South Pacific island nation against the impending Trans-Pacific Partnership on August 15, were “misinformed” and merely a “rent-a-crowd”. [Like many New Zealanders, John Key mashes his vowels with his consonants like they’re peas to be lost in mushed potatoes, so that New Zealand becomes Nu Zillun when spokun. – Ed.]

I’m going to climb the lab-engineered Capitalist State Tree and crawl out on its dying limb, Democracy, to explain why Key is one trillion market points correct.

But to comprehend the significance of the bombshell disclosure I’m dropping here, it’s crucial that we are on ‘need-to-know-basis’ terms. This means you-need-to-know my family’s great secret, how I came to know what I know and why I want you to know what I know is dangerous to the world if it remains an ‘unknown known’, so to speak.

My family became incredibly wealthy by outsourcing our aversion to poverty to those that worked hard for us. With investments in land, wool, dairy, timber, mining, construction and puddle-proof boots in a country the size of Great Britain and with only the ‘rebel natives’ to foil the British Empire’s imperial plans in the 1860s when my forebears immigrated, you couldn’t go wrong. Like the British aristocracy, we did it through shell companies, Freemasonry and proxy agents with forgettable faces. Today, my families’ Top 40 investments are vital to the Nu Zillun rock-star economy.

The transformations taking place now in the Free-For-All-Insiders global economy have a long genealogy with so many entwined tentacles that they may one day inspire an epic political thriller called The Octopus. Back in the early 1970s, a group called the Council of 13 invited me to help them reassert control of the world. The Council of 13 had their dapperly dressed puppets enthusiastically working on a secret blueprint blandly called the ‘1980s Project’ at an equally insipidly named global policy-shaping think-tank, the Council on Foreign Relations, headquartered in New York. The ‘1980s Project’ prescribed a new alliance between the greedy and powerful Corporate Octopoda Order of America and Europe to include the Baby Octopoda Order of Japan.

Wisely, the plan wasn’t called something like ‘Project Octopus’ because Laurence Shoup and William Minter revealed part of this plan in their book, The Imperial Brain Trust. Because hardly anyone read the ‘serious stuff’ genre even back then when books were only available in 3D, we knew we were safe. The Council of 13’s directive was to address threats to their hidden rule over the plundered, bombed and under-priced planet, as corny and ‘conspiracy theory’ as that sounds.

The threats faced by these Octopus Capitalists from the North Western Atlantic included the pesky peoples’ movements that had emerged in the valve-tube TV days of the 1960s such as the ‘pigment-focused’ Civil Rights, the ‘peacenik’ Anti-War and the ‘girl’s blousy’ Feminist movements. That was how the ‘1980’s Project’ nerds described them in conversations. The ‘whining’ developmental demands of the perpetually Last Place Third World countries, that sought to gain western technology as a ‘fair trade’ for supplying resources ‘gained fair and square through conquest, coercion and corruption’, were also viewed as dangerous. The ‘1980s Project’ sought to hinder the efforts of these ‘disobedients’ through the financial discipline of cunningly re-regulated ‘free markets’.

My contribution was to plan the deployment of ‘free market economic shock treatments’ to the Nu Zillun economy. Coming from a country with a population of ‘sissy conformists’, as our telephone surveys found, I envisaged that the tiny South Pacific Realm of the British Empire would capitulate to corporate raiders straight after an election with pre-scripted scary news of an engineered financial crisis, without mentioning the engineered bit. This scheming started at a time when the United States was ‘losing’ the American War on Vietnam in 1971.

We considered it vital to what is really a Global Neo-Colonial Project that apathy would become widespread worldwide. To this end, we deemed it crucial to depoliticize, downplay and dumb-down important issues. We called it ‘2D Optics’ because we realized that if you can ‘control the optics’, especially by faking sincerity through the media, you’ve got it made. Not only did we invent systemic apathy without announcing it on The News, which is a historical syndicated soap written by dark satirists, we also schemed with news and entertainment moguls to consolidate the media industry into corporate cartels that would mass-produce every distraction imaginable under the soon-to-be-privatized sunlight. That’s the real purpose behind wall-to-wall sports coverage, Same ol’ Same ol’ movies and universally re-versioned reality TV junk content. The Octopus Capitalists wanted citizens recast as ‘consumers’ who wouldn’t care anymore about how the world was being run. So, when those ‘Toto the pesky dog moments’, as we called them, revealed “that man behind the curtain” was faking it as a wizard, people cast as consumers would then take the ‘pay no attention’ cues and carry on shopping in an evilly-directed epic pursuit of hollow happiness.

You read dead right. Our objective was to demoralize people by striping their characters’ of ‘annoying’ free-thinking motivations and ‘pesky’ principled behaviours.

We anticipated there would be pesky journalists such as Naomi Klein who identified our global program of economic warfare as ‘the Shock Doctrine’. Klein showed in her book The Shock Doctrine how the Octopus Bankers have been engineering financial and economic crises in order to coerce governments to take emergency loans from the International Monetary Fund. But hobbled governments could only get these emergency loans to stave off widespread social unrest if they sold off public assets. In private, we called it a Debt for Equity Swap. In public, we called it Austerity.

To mitigate this threat of string-free journalists, we took public relations from a cottage industry to a global phenomenon. In doing so, journalists were lured away from newsrooms with more money, ego-stroking access to the Old Boy’s Network and ‘hoes and blow’. Now, the pesky string-less John Pilgers of this dying world can be out-produced by the Octopuses networks and their puppet PR people. As Klein quite rightly said in The Shock Doctrine documentary, “the Shock Doctrine only works if people don’t know about it”.

So, why you may ask, is an insider whistle-blowing on the Octopuses? To answer that, I need to share some more back-story. I became the black sheep of my family by ‘going wild’ when I fell in love with a feminist while on assignment infiltrating left-wing groups in Nu Zillun after my stint on the ‘1980’s Project’. This assignment was the equivalent of the FBI’s seven COINTELPRO – NEW LEFT programs to undermine dissent. During my ‘fall from grace’, ironically with a chick called Grace, I came to see that ‘ordinary people’ are amazing. Their magic is best appreciated up close, away from the set-piece social occasions that dominate the lives of the greedy and infamous.

Adding accelerants to my relations’ firey rage, the entire family was excluded from Nu Zillun’s inner clique, codenamed the ‘Great White Flock’, after they discovered that Grace and I had bred a flock of ‘Disobedients’. This precipitated a crisis among the country’s Twenty Ruling Families, and was the real reason why Nu Zillun’s prime minister Robert Muldoon called a snap-election in mid-June 1984 before a school of reef-fish reporters, while drunk. And that’s why you won’t find the entire Edwards family on the wealth porn Rich List. Among an oligarchy, trust is the hemoglobin that binds bloodlines.

It may surprise you when I say that I was actually going to attend the rally in the largest population center, Auckland City. But I got wind that the stocks, commodities and currencies markets were going to go into meltdown mode the following week, from a few old wealthy friends who quietly empathize with my ‘wild worldviews’. So, I had to scramble to reduce my exposure and right-on cue the global equities markets lost $3.3 trillion in value in a week. The meltdown was reminiscent of the liquidation of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. It turns out that The Wizard of Oz was an allegory for the American people’s popular struggle to overcome an international banking syndicate that sought to establish a privately-owned central bank through which they could eventually enslave the population with debt.

If that sounds like a nut-bar theory, then ponder the worldwide suppression of systemic banking fraud, whereby credit funds are conjured into existence, marketed as ‘loans’ and the financially-challenged are cast as ‘borrowers’. These ‘borrowers’ include hobbled governments in the make-real world. Central banks and major commercial banks whisk credit out of annoyingly thin-air through the possession of a metaphorical magical wand (or the power of the Octopus Bankers Network to pull unseen levers and press hidden buttons). Or, to put it another way, dynastic banking families and their global banking cartels fool mass suck-lucker populaces into borrowing credit funds into existence while maintaining a Scrooge-scarcity over cash. In other words, I’m talking about that big reveal moment like at the end of The Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy and Friends realize the Wizard is just an old man behind a curtain orchestrating theatrical effects, as journalist Bill Still and Friends make clear in his documentary The Secret of Oz.

To make up for not being able to inflict some damage to Nu Zillun’s Twenty Ruling Families on protest day, I used some spare change to rent-a-crowd across the whole economy. Because it was such short notice, my rent-a-crowd’s numbers weren’t a game-changer for the Twenty Ruling Families’ government. If you are like John Key’s Zombie Faithful Voter Crowd you are doubtless well informed and you ‘don’t do protests’ and so you well know that oligarchs by definition are super-rich people who use their enormous economic wealth to steer the political trajectory of whole societies, as Dr. Jeffrey Winters explains in his 3D book, Oligarchy. You therefore have always known and without needing to read it in a school textbook, that the ‘Invisible Hand’ widely promoted in the 1980s to describe the efficient functioning of ‘free markets’ through price signals was just a euphemism for an unseen oligarchy pulling their puppets’ strings.

Had I been at the Auckland protest, I would have informed the misinformed protesters that the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) is more than just the architecture for a huge economic bloc between the United States and 11 other Pacific Rim countries, including Nu Zillun.

“The TPP is a mega cartel deal“, I intended to yell into a megaphone.

In the present era of so-called ‘free markets’, vast anti-competitive transnational corporations operate as cartels, rather like The Hutt Cartel led by Jabba the Hutt, as depicted in the Star Wars space opera. The huge monopolizing corporate combinations – that dominate extraction, production, distribution, financing, marketing and information dissemination – undermine bona fide competition by fixing prices, controlling supply, and reducing diversity through mass production of similar soon-to-be obsolete services and trashed products. I could inform my Rent-a-Crowd protesters through Nu Zillun’s inquisitive press that collusion is to monopolies what sucking blood is to a dynasty of vampires, but only if the Twenty Ruling Families lost their heads.

Furthermore, the huge economic protective trade-blocs proposed, such as the Trans-Pacific Partnership (or TPP), and its Atlantic Ocean fraternal sibling, the Trans-Atlantic Trade and Investment Partnership, (or TTIP) and the all-encompassing stealthy sibling, Trade in Services Agreement (TiSA) are really about creating a slickly-marketed, hi-tech inverted totalitarian superstructure, worldwide. Indeed, a rotten corporate totalitarian core thrives inside a fictitious democratic shell and is spreading outward from America, as the string-free American journalist Chris Hedges has stated more generally.

Because oligarch John Key is Nu Zillun’s Infallible Expert on Everything, he well knew that in my absence, my Rent-a-Crowd protesters were misinformed about the full extent of the stealthy strategy to amputate Democracy’s dying limb. This is partly because as prime minister, he has access to the country’s mass surveillance data through the Five Eyes’ suck-it-all agency, the GCSB (or the Government Communications Security Bureau, for long). Indeed, Key claimed that exactly one-third of the TPP protesters were misinformed! This intelligence access goes some way to explaining Key’s frequent sagely insights. It gives the ex-London and Wall Street banker an edge not unlike the Eye of Sauron in Lord of the Rings, or the Illuminati’s All Seeing Eye symbol on the Federal Reserve cartel’s next-to-worthless one dollar bills if they had radio frequency spy chips embedded in them to track your every move.

If there were a board game to replace Monopoly, called Oligarchy, Key’s modus operandi could be captured in a pick-up card from the ‘Opportunity in Crisis’ stack that may read:

“Now that you wear the political leader’s hat you need to know that sharing isn’t all bad. Your creed is, ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’. This means you can now export more economic and political power to a stealthy emergent global government run by the Octopoda World Order. The Council of 13 are suited to the task to control an Invisible Empire, because they are impeccably dressed, have awesome propaganda and they are totally trustworthy since they have collectivized a vast military apparatus, do business with tax havens and out-source problems like poverty to jurisdictions of their choosing.”

To their credit, the TPP protesters sensed that the Trans-Pacific Partnership is set to consolidate the power of transnational corporations. The unseen Council of 13 plots behind a purple curtain so vast it obscures these dynastic rulers from view. Because amazing people, now cast as consumers, can’t see the purple curtain’s edges, they are unable to even ‘take-a-peek’ behind it, despite glimpsing it everyday and looking the other way like sheep pretending not to notice the farmer’s dog.

The Octopuses of the Octopoda World Order are the biggest sissies you’ll most probably never meet. Worse still, once you comprehend the grand scale of the spectacle overlaid into the make-real world, you can’t help but notice how bad the acting is. And worser, you’ll be torn between sighing and sniggering about how gullible and dumbed-down the Zombie news audiences are not to notice the bad acting, the B-Grade scripts and the strings attached to creepy scheming tentacles. And worser than worser, you will catch yourself saying, as I have ever since the movie Sixth Sense, when watching The News: “I see puppet people”.

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By day, Steve Edwards edits news at a television station in the New Zealand economy and by night he transmogrifies into Snoopman, the editor-in-chief at Snoopman News. In his thesis, “It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid” that investigated the Global Financial Crisis and bank bailouts of 2007 and 2008, he traced the strategy of an Anglo-American oligarchy to engineer economic and financial crises in order to gain the submission of governments around the world to the ‘free market’ economic framework. He is not related to anyone on New Zealand’s rich list.

Related – Almost Fully Operational: The Mega Cartel Death Star at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2015/08/01/almost-fully-operational-the-mega-cartel-death-star/

Why I Rented-a-Crowd of Misinformed Protesters is also posted on:

https://criticl.me/post/why-i-rented-crowd-misinformed-protesters-3910

http://www.filmsforaction.org/articles/why-i-rentedacrowd-of-misinformed-protesters/

http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1508/S00124/why-i-rented-a-crowd-of-misinformed-protesters.htm

Shortlink: http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=3220

Green-tweaks to Monopoly Capitalism?

Greenpeace’s climate action at New Zealand’s parliament failed to finger the blame at the primary cause of what is, in fact, planet-wide ecological collapse. Consequently their mono-causal presentation of the climate crisis, which is part of a much broader set of colliding crises, leads to oversimplified and dangerous solutions. Snoopman, Iggy Swind and Sophia Bigg-Storm find that Kermit the Puppet and his Muppet friends have empathized with a Woolly Mammoth that escaped from a climate camp, because nobody would listen to his warning that Monopoly Capitalism is whammy cause of all human-made environmental catastrophes. It turns out that a Smart Green Economy is a cover-story that hides the construction of hi-tech dystopian super-states. (Contains satirical particulates. 20 minute read).

Framing Irony: Greenpeace abseilers say they will forgo diversion from prison, while the news media construct a diversionary argument with a trivial objection about the breach of security at the New Zealand economy’s parliament.

Framing Irony: Greenpeace abseilers say they will forgo diversion from prison, while the news media construct a diversionary argument with a trivial objection about the breach of security at the New Zealand economy’s parliament.

By Snoopman, Iggy Swind and Sophia Bigg-Storm

 

Mono-causal argument misleads membership

At dawn on Thursday 27 June 2015, four brave Greenpeace volunteers abseiled down the front of the New Zealand economy’s parliament buildings to focus attention on the climate change issue. They unfurled a banner, featuring an image of the many-hatted prime minister, John Key, and a caption that read: “Cut pollution, create jobs? Yeah nah.”

After initially being reasonably open-minded about the action, ‘at the end of the day’, the Extreme Media deflected from the climate issue to security. In the New Zealand economy’s two main six o’clock television broadcasts, known colloquially by the brainwashed population as ‘the news’, the reporters of OneNews’ and 3News’ emphasized the breach of security in their lead stories. By doing so, these media missionaries behaved like submissive school prefects armed with microphones. OneNews’ Katie Bradford described the abseiling feat as “a stunt”, “a chilly dawn raid”, and “an attack”, while 3News reporter Tova O’Brien adopted a similar affectation of neutrality to claim Greenpeace’s action went “sideways” because it was overtaken by the breach of security issue.

For this, the Extreme Media deserves to be ridiculed with satirical cartoons for presenting what is, in fact, the logical fallacy of diversionary argument by way of a trivial objection, as the author of Attacking Faulty Reasoning Professor T. Edward Damer might readily point out.

Furthermore, it was the New Zealand government that capitulated to the terror-sponsoring French state after it had sent 13 secret agents to New Zealand in Operation Satanique (Satanic) to attach two bombs to Greenpeace’s Pacific Ocean flagship, the Rainbow Warrior. Indeed, the United Nations brokered  a ‘compensation’ sum of $13 million for the French state’s terrorist attack after two of the terrorists were repatriated to France, and, in effect, this meant the world officially condoned terrorism.

Historical Context Missed: Greenpeace failed to shoot-down the media and politicians who raised the trivial objection – security – in a country where its own government capitulated to state-sponsored terror.

Historical Context Missed: Greenpeace failed to shoot-down the media and politicians who raised the trivial objection – security – in a country where its own government capitulated to state-sponsored terror.

Greenpeace also has itself to blame. For one thing, it took down it’s only post from its website.

Stage Fright: Greenpeace takes down it’s own protest post from its website.

Stage Fright: Greenpeace takes down it’s own protest post from its website.

But, the main reason for the Extreme News Media’s diversion to the trivial breach of security objections is because, essentially, Greenpeace had nothing new to say. Greenpeace spokesman Nathan Argent stated that the action was intended to pressure the government “to put in place a real climate action plan now.” He claimed the government had not enacted a single piece of legislation to reduce emissions.

Argent also argued that a climate action plan could create many tens of thousands of jobs that would be a multi-billion dollar boost to the economy. He asserted this would take pollution out of the economy and build a smarter, safer, healthier New Zealand.

Here, we sketch why Greenpeace failed to present a new-inspiring narrative. We also outline a major flaw in Greenpeace’s argument from which springs solutions that will ironically result in the construction of a dystopian sci-fi-esque world – a project that is already underway.

Unfortunately, Greenpeace, like that of 350.org, Generation Zero, and many other non-government organizations that campaign on the climate crisis, promotes a mono-causal view of climate change. The mono-causal position holds that pollution from industrial emissions, ‘fossil’ fuel vehicle fumes and burning-off forests are the sole cause of climate change. While these factors are serious, this view is bunk.

The planet’s climate is changing due to many causes, including: deforestation (over millennia); desertification (massive soil erosion); species extinction (including ‘fisheries’ collapse); geo-engineering weather modification programs; industrial agriculture, pollution and planned obsolescence; resource destruction caused by war; imperial and corporate driven migration to mega-cities; the cult of consumerism; and the whammy of all human-causes, hierarchical patriarchies (foremost among them is Monopoly Capitalism).

Aiming to Low: Please Sir, may I have more Monopoly Capitalism?

Aiming to Low: Please Sir, may I have more Monopoly Capitalism?

Another way of stating these causes would be: greed and the cult of world domination, both related to ego gratification and cultivation of psychopaths in the planet’s ruling families (as is made clear in David Livingstone’s excellent book, Terrorism and the Illuminati: A Three Thousand Year History). A further cause is also solar activity and the planet’s trajectory in the galaxy, which we cannot do anything about, so we shall focus on the human causes. (See section below: The Woolly Mammoth in the Climate Changing Room).

Greenpeace presents its over-simplistic mono-causal climate change narrative because its membership and the people they are seeking to influence are middle class. A mono-causal presentation necessarily leads to over-simplistic, and we argue, dangerous ‘solutions’.

Story continued – Green-tweaks to Monopoly Capitalism? at http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=3082

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Newsroom Conspiracy at Murdoch’s Sunday Times? Snowden character assassination piece passes through ‘Buying-out’ news filter

Sunday Stenographers: The Murdoch Dynasty’s Sunday Times newspaper attempted to assassinate Snowden character, which drew limited salvos from rival media outlets.

Sunday Stenographers: The Murdoch Dynasty’s Sunday Times newspaper attempted to assassinate Snowden character, which drew limited salvos from rival media outlets.

The Murdoch Dynasty’s London newspaper, The Sunday Times, just prints what is the official view of Her Majesty’s Government, says its Home Affairs reporter as a way to explain-away a character assassination piece on NSA whistle-blower, Edward Snowden. The Sunday Times front-page story “British spies betrayed to Russians and Chinese” claimed that the encrypted NSA documents stolen by Snowden had fallen into the hands of the Russian and Chinese governments.

Snoopman finds that by uncritically repeating the claims of anonymous government sources, The Sunday Times has, in effect, activated the sixth filter of the Propaganda Model, which describes how the news is filtered in the absence of official state censorship. Snoopman finds that in order for News Corp-owned The Sunday Times‘ to publish the attack piece, “British spies betrayed to Russians and Chinese”, it had to pass through the Propaganda Model’s sixth filter, ‘Buying-out’, which theorizes for collusion and conspiracy in newsrooms. He rounds off by daring news outlets to expose the Deep States’ power crimes. [15 minute read. Contains traces of sarcasm].

 

By Snoopman, 20 June 2015

Make, announce, type.

A recent Sunday Times’ character assassination hit-piece on NSA-whistle-blower Edward Snowden provides a clear example of a newsroom conspiring with a government to attack a perceived enemy.

The central claim made in The Sunday Times article, “British spies betrayed to Russians and Chinese“, is that the encrypted documents that Edward Snowden stole from the US National Security Agency (NSA)  have fallen into the hands of the Russian and Chinese governments. This spurious allegation lays the shaky foundation for another unsubstantiated claim, namely that British and American intelligence operations have been compromised and their spies endangered.

The Sunday Times character assassination piece, typed by ‘journalists’ Tom Harper, Richard Kerbaj and Tim Shipman, provides a clear example of the dodgy routine practice of using anonymous elite sources. The slyness of quoting anonymous official sources is that it gets the news outlet off-the-hook from doing a real investigation, backed by verifiable evidence. It also means that other news media outlets are unable and unobligated to investigate the Narrative News Yarns© being spun because the anonymously-quoted sources’ vested interests, career trajectories and place in the web of power remains untraceable. (See section below: The ‘Buying-out’ News Filter).

As the journalist who broke the Snowden whistle-blowing story in June 2013, Glenn Greenwald, wrote of news outlets that routinely present what anonymous government officials claim to be the Truth, “That tactic continues to be the staple of how major U.S. and British media outlets “report”.”

After initially being repeated as Truth by British and American news outlets and gullible journalists took to Twitter to discuss the implications for Edward Snowden, the story has since collapsed under scrutiny, as a hilarious interview by CNN with one of the reporters responsible for the story shows. (See also: Al Jazera’s “Behind the Sunday Times Snowden Saga“; The Guardian‘s “UK under pressure to respond to latest Edward Snowden claims” and The Globe and Mail’s “Snowden’s lawyer slams Times story claiming leaks ‘betrayed’ British spies“; and The Huffington Post‘s “Glenn Greenwald Accuses Sunday Times Of The ‘Type Of Reporting That Destroys Journalism’s Credibility’).

On the surface, The Sunday Times article was designed to vilify NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden and justify increased mass surveillance capabilities for the British spy agency, GCHQ, which is part of the Five Eyes’ Echelon global mass surveillance network. However, the ‘Five Eyes’ spy partners – the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and New Zealand – pose a bona fide threat to the ideal of free and open societies. (See section below: Confronting the Extinction of Privacy with ‘But, Why? Questions’).

All the Better to See You With: The Echelon surveillance network are the snooping eyes (and ears) of the Anglo-Saxon Deep State.

Glenn Greenwald quickly pointed out that Snowden gave the encrypted documents to news outlets for them to decide what was in the public interest to know, and to balance that mandate with not endangering lives. Snowden has repeatedly said he did not take the stolen NSA documents with him once he left Hong Kong, where he gave selected news outlets the encrypted NSA files, in case authorities seized them. Notably, the news outlets that Snowden worked with were not owned by Rupert Murdoch’s global media empire, News Corp (which owns The Sunday Times).

As Glenn Greenwald, who co-founded The Intercept online news outlet, wrote of the practice of quoting government sources who provide no evidence on the condition of anonymity, in his scathing piece:

“Ponder how dumb someone has to be at this point to read an anonymous government accusation, made with zero evidence, and accept it as true. But it works. Other news agencies mindlessly repeated the Sunday Times claims far and wide. I watched last night as American and British journalists of all kinds reacted to the report on Twitter: by questioning none of it.”

The Creepy 'n Spooky Show: Greenwald revealed evidence that New Zealand's Echelon spy agency, the GCSB, is also facilitating mass surveillance of NZ's populace on 15 September 2014.

Greenwald went on to say of this journalistic practice to concede anonymity to official sources, that it is indicative of submission to authoritarianism, “It’s impossible that they don’t know better.”

We agree.

Especially when The Sunday Times‘ Home Affairs reporter, Tom Harper said during ‘four minutes of farcical fumbling’ on CNN, “It’s, it’s obviously allegations at the moment from our point of view. And, it’s really for the British Government to, uh, to defend it. We just publish what we believe to be the position of the British government”. As The Huffington Post reported, The Sunday Times‘ headline, “British spies betrayed to Russians and Chinese” contains no skepticism.

Jingoism as Journalism: When questioned on CNN, lead reporter Tom Harper said, "It's really just allegations at the moment."

Breaking! The Sunday Times admits under standard journalistic questioning that it is the Official Printer of Her Majesty’s Government.

Indeed, The Intercept‘s co-founder, who relished the fun of lacerating The Sunday Times over it’s jingoistic story-telling passing as ‘news’, quoted comedian Stephen Colbert’s satirical attack speech at a White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner in 2006, as a way to slam-dunk this “pure stenography of the worst kind“:

But, listen, let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works. The President makes decisions. He’s the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put ’em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration? You know, fiction! – Stephen Colbert

Indeed, we argue that not all journalists are born equal dumb-dumbs and do know that what they type is fiction. [Many are smart, hilarious and good-looking, so it must lead those lacking all three features to concede their personal power to authoritarian regimes as an easy route to satisfy the attention-seeking tendencies detectable in all journalists. – Ed]

In the next section, we explore how collusion and conspiracy can occur in large news outlets on a routine basis among personnel who have likely incorporated an ideological prejudice that collusive or conspiratorial behaviour among elites is non-existent or unprovable.

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Story continued at snoopman.net.nz : Newsroom Conspiracy at Murdoch’s Sunday Times?  http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2994

Ponytail Scandal Tape Found! A Serial Ponytail Yanker’s Lasso of Truth Interview

Honest John: Under the influence of the Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

Honest John: Under the influence of the Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

This shocking suppressed interview with the prime minister of the New Zealand realm, John Phillip Key (AKA ‘the Smiling Assassin’), delves deeper into the reasons underpinning the bullying of a waitress by the country’s leader. It was conducted by The New Zealand Herald’s editor, Shayne Currie, who had his ‘plumber mates’ break-in to the world headquarters of Snoopman News Group to steal the most coveted treasure of the media world, Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

Snoopman News learned who was behind the break-in, because journalists can’t keep secrets. We confronted Currie, who disclosed that because his newspaper had the scoop on the story of New Zealand’s prime minister’s ponytail-pulling harassment, he said it was crucial to know the truth to better keep track of how it was going to be bent, since gossip columnist Rachel Glucina would create a warped narrative to protect the prime minister. This full transcript is from a BASF cassette recording of The New Zealand’s Herald‘s censored interview with John Key (who has his own copy).

Hi-Fidelity Recording: NZ’s PM makes even the bad times sound good.

Hi-Fidelity Recording: NZ’s PM makes even the bad times sound good.

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Shayne Currie: I’ve read a draft of Amanda Bailey’s [the harassed waitress] account. She mentions the power disparity at play, wherein she is a waitress, and you’re the prime minister, with the protection of two body-guards and in the company of your wife on each of your visits to the Hip Group franchised café, Rosie. She asserts that after you’d pulled her ponytail on numerous occasions, and she’d made it clear by her body language that she didn’t like having her hair pulled, you continued to tug her ponytail. Why did you repeatedly pull waitress Amanda Bailey’s hair like a naughty three year-old?

Operation Ponytail: Hip Group cafe franchise owners with “tantalising ponytail”‘ waitress, who was unwittingly used as a test subject to field trial a new political technique – Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC).

Operation Ponytail: Hip Group cafe franchise owners with “tantalising ponytail”‘ waitress, who was unwittingly used as a test subject to field trial a new political technique – Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC).

John Key: [Chuckles] One reason is we’re experimenting with a new touchy-feely public relations model called Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC), which takes the manipulation of politicians kissing babies to ‘next level’. As you know, National’s (Key’s political party) public relations firm is Crosby Textor. It’s a bit of an Anglo-Saxon political party favourite. Crosby Textor noticed I had a slight hair fetish, called Trichophilia, especially for young fillies, and they saw how we could exploit it by morphing it into the ‘Nice Guy Key’ Brand that we had manufactured for my political assent.

SC: So, Crosby Textor figured this new ‘stock in political-horse trade’ trick could make the Trichophilia appear like fatherly affection, care and attention?

JK: Exactly! It was genius.

A Fetish Outing: Viewers thought it was a wee bit weird.

A Fetish Outing: Viewers thought it was a wee bit weird.

… but didn’t realise this behaviour going ‘next level’.

… but didn’t realise this behaviour going ‘next level’.

SC: But, how would the serial hair-pulling of a waitress help your political party’s re-election bid and beyond? I mean, the waitress claims that she became more direct with her brush-offs, and you then pretended it was your wife Bronagh doing the hair-pulling. Was that like a change of game plan to get ‘a rise’ [heighten the tension] out of her, so you could brag about it with your investment class supporters?

JK: Yep. The idea was that I’d push it into a public social setting, where I’d get more, more, more, you know, triple-more tipsy and brag about my antics-after-dark – for hours – because as Bill English has told journalists, I love to natter at length because I have a big ego.

SC: Let me get this straight. Brag to who exactly?

JK: Brag to National’s hardcore primary constituency, the big donors, who take ‘male entitlement’ as a given, since the term actually means boys and men expect women to serve and be submissive to jerks like us.

SC: But, why?

 

SEE FULL STORY at snoopman.net.nz: THE CENSORED EXCLUSIVE: A Serial Ponytail Yanker’s Lasso of Truth Interview [Full Transcript, 13 April 2015] http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2727

Related article: “Prime Minister is Best ‘dadD’: New Zealand Newspaper Declares John Key ‘Our Father of the Year’ as 2015 Turns 5 Months-old”
http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2801

 

Nesting in Aqua Sheets: NZ PM’s & Greens Co-leader’s secret ‘love’ trysts

'Smart Greens': Or fallen in Love with a Nice Image?

‘Smart Greens’: Or fallen in Love with a Nice Image?

With the coercive powers of Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth, Sophia Bigg-Storm gets the scoop on the secret love trysts at the top of the New Zealand economy’s political sex chain between Prime Minister John Key and Green Party Co-leader Metiria Turei. Wondering why this unlikely pair of ‘Aqua Lovers’ co-mingled in the first place, Bigg-Storm unexpectedly finds that beneath the slickly-marketed Smart Green economy ‘solutions’ to human-induced environmental collapse, is a technocratic nightmare that many in the worldwide environment movement does not comprehend.

By Sophia Bigg-Storm, 4 December 2014

 

Aqua Love

New Zealand’s collective jaw is about to drop on news that the political terrain between the governing National Party and opposition Green Party is closer than anyone – even key insiders – ever imagined possible. It is not because more people have learned the implications of the Green’s pre-election stance that it is more pro-market than National. New Zealanders, like the iconic flightless bird – the Kiwi – after which they like to be known (through elite social conditioning), do not think much about consequences.

Rather, it has emerged that prime minister John Key and Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei are now lovers. Their love trysts – that enjoins the far-right wing multi-millionaire ex-banker and the centre-left ex-welfare drawing solo mum – means two of the economy’s top politicians have been sharing pillow talk while they have been sparing against each others’ respective colleagues at work.

Incredibly, this lurid sex scandal has been financed by bond-holders who have been betting on how long it will last, derivatives buyers speculating about how it will unfold, and investment bankers offsetting the lovers’ naked political communications with a brand of carbon market credits, known as DeceitNeutral™. Their Political Sex Partnership (PSP) effectively signifies that Neo-liberal Teams Blue and Green have merged to create an Aqua-coloured political centre.

Key and Turei have been rendezvousing for the last two months, sometimes at hotels around the New Zealand economy’s capital city, Wellington, and it’s largest city, Auckland, where most of the speculative capital is gambled. Sometimes the New Zealand economy’s newest and most secretive power couple have even stolen themselves away for sneaky political sex at their respective homes.

It turns out that Metiria Turei got inspired to buy aqua-coloured organic silk sheets after John Key’s far-right wing National Party thumped the political ‘left’ with an electoral win that turned the New Zealand economy’s map, and lefties, almost completely blue. While sales in anti-depressants to left-wing people spiked after the election win, and then tapered off as the movie Fight Club was passed around among hardcore lefties, the plucky Greens co-leader suddenly ‘got lucky’ (See related story, Fight Club: From Lefty Malaise to Politically Just-Right Karma Sutra).

Blue Tory Ink: The New Zealand Economy (AKA NZ Inc.) and ‘lefties’, turned almost completely blue after the blue-coloured right-wing National Party’s trouncing win.

Blue Tory Ink: The New Zealand Economy (AKA NZ Inc.) and ‘lefties’, turned almost completely blue after the blue-coloured right-wing National Party’s trouncing win.

The Proposition

But, it is how Turei got lucky with the economy’s allegedly most powerful man that is equal measures unlikely and uncanny.

Turei propositioned Key one afternoon shortly after the 2014 election amid the portentously cold Southern Hemisphere spring, when all the parliamentary press gallery reporters had answered in the affirmative to the magic ‘all clear’ line, “Has everyone got everything they want?” As soon as the chummily conditioned reporters left, Turei slipped out of the shadows from the back corner of the pressroom.

She accosted Key while he was ‘killing’ some documents in a portable shredder that he had installed behind the lecturn during the height of the Dirty Politics scandal, to provide a covert means to destroy incriminating evidence right under reporters’ noses.

According to Key’s lucid recollection (and a true test of the Lasso of Truth’s power), Turei handed him a wrapped parcel and he said, “What’s this, a hippie tangata whenua peace-offering ritual?” Beaming, Turei apparently said, “It’s material to build an aqua nest with, stupid.” Turei claims she raised her eyebrow, and Key asked, “An aqua what?” as his eyes dropped to her cleavage for a brief moment and then he sniggered as he said, “Aaah, a wahine pick-up ritual.”

“I’ve had some unexpected propositions in my time,” said Key (AKA ‘the Smiling Assassin’), who was mentored in the Dark Art of Wizard Bastardry by English comedian Rik Mayall when he was an investment banker in London in the mid-1990s. “But Metiria’s seduction was the last thing in the world I would have dreamed of as a means to cement a fourth term.”

Soaking up the Suck-luckers: The smarmy Smiling Assassin’s election victory was based on a perversion of democracy.

Soaking up the Suck-luckers: The smarmy Smiling Assassin’s election victory was based on a perversion of democracy.

Key earned the nickname, ‘the Smiling Assassin’ because he smiled during hospital visits to give Mayall blood transfusions to save his life, after he nearly killed the comedian during a high-speed broom chase over London in April 1998. Because the former London and Wall Street banker had received wizard blood from the comedian, who used magic to be funny, the Dark Wizard Banker was needed to provide compatible blood.

From Muggle to Wizard: Ex-Banker’s Suppressed Lasso of Truth Interview.
From Muggle to Wizard: Ex-Banker’s Suppressed Lasso of Truth Interview.
For her part, Turei saw the powerful symbolism to being the love interest of the prime minister, because he oversees a patriarchal capitalist state economy. “Everyone knows that skyscraping towers are phallic symbols, so I figured seducing Key would be the best way to consummate the Green’s pre-election disclosure that our party is more pro-market than Key’s National.”

Metiria reasoned that Key’s third term as prime minister would be beleaguered with official probes, court cases and more whistle-blowing related to the Dirty Politics scandal. “I knew what she had to say to be true,” said Key. “So did those in the National Party and the oligarchs [super-rich people who steer politics] that constitute the New Zealand economy’s ‘Twenty Ruling Families’.”

With the famously territorial tui birds singing their sexually-charged songs as they walked around Wellington’s Botanical Gardens at dusk on Friday September 26, their springtime discussion quickly became a question of how such an improbable union could occur.

Key says he admired Turei’s forthrightness and ability to grip his balls while articulating a sophisticated argument. “You never see that kind of maneuver in parliament, in courtrooms or in TV studios. Public debate has become so wanky and its always promising prosperity for everyone in some vague and undefined future, like a secular form of the Vatican Empire’s mythical Heaven. Her gift is to embody the political present in this outpost of the Fourth British Empire and 1st American Empire, which is indebted to foreign pixies”.

Aqua Love: The Aqua Alliance between the Greens and National Party is a cutting edge Political Sex Partnership (PSP).

Aqua Love: The Aqua Alliance between the Greens and National Party is a cutting edge Political Sex Partnership (PSP).

The Green’s co-leader convinced New Zealand’s prime minister that the only way his party could survive a third term and for himself and key insiders to keep their white privileged wobbly arses out of jail, was for his Tory-modeled, blue-coloured National Party to merge with the neo-liberally captured environmentally half-conscious Green Party. Turei explained that the Green’s could do for the National Party what New Zealand’s anti-nuclear movement did for the United States and the United Kingdom when New Zealand joins them in wars largely of NATO’s scheming: make them look good.

Key asked Turei, “I’m hardly a thoroughbred, so what’s in it for you? Aren’t you risking alienating yourself from the Green-skins?”

 

Smart Green Economy or Totalitarian Nightmare?

Turei explained to Key ‘the market’ was the most efficient way to confront the major issues of sustainability. According to Turei, Key sniggered. Annoyed, the Green’s co-leader “educated” Key that the only way to fix the planet was to make big polluters pay through is through a carbon credits trading system.

Meanwhile, Turei told him, “an international price on carbon is coming, which means every single thing on the planet will be measured and priced for its carbon-equivalent Smart Green Economy value.”

Being a shrewd ex-London and Wall Street banker, Key could see that what Turei was describing would require a worldwide technocratic superstructure. He already knew that. It had long been planned.

The CEO of NZ Inc., as Key likes to think of himself, says he smiled when he realized that Turei’s obliviousness about the construction of technocratic super-states was, in effect, confirmation that the New Zealand economy’s environmental movement did not understand what a technocracy is. “You’d think tree-huggers would read Patrick Wood’s stuff”, Key said referring to the editor of The August Forecast & Review, who traces the roll-out of Smart Grid technologies to the roots of a little-known technocracy movement back in the Great Depression era.

“Wood. Tree-huggers. Get it?” asked the Smiling Assassin, who seemed oblivious to how Jokes get killed. I explained that when a Joke gets explained, it quickly dies an unfunny death, humiliated. Key snorted. It didn’t help. The Joke stayed dead.

In the hope that this recently deceased Joke’s short life was not lost in vain, Professor of International Criminal Law at Auckland University Dr. David Lynchman gives an unfunny definition so that people who still read will learn something crucial to avert the intended technocratic nightmare. “At face value, a technocracy suggests a benign economic system that allocates energy and resources equitably through quotas, rather than through capitalism’s current price system.”

“The amusing thing is that a technocracy is a totalitarian system of government that is administered by scientists, engineers and technicians”, said Key. “It’s amusing because it leaves the same unseen oligarchs that have become super-rich off capitalism still at-large, to have their same scheming private bat dinners at the same bat locations all around Gotham and its satellites.”

Turei at this point had zoned out and was watching a Reconstruction video about Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’ and One Direction’s ‘You & I’ songs. The production made her giggle – a lot.

Spooky Tracking: How social control will become a chilling science.

Spooky Tracking: How social control will become a chilling science.

Key continued, “By its very design, Smart Green Economies will be controlled by technocrats, engineers and scientists who would be working, whether they realize or not, to ensure that ordinary people and the things they consume are tracked everywhere because everything will be chipped with its own unique number and read by wireless chipped Smart Readers. It will mean the complete loss of anonymity, privacy, and dignity – if we get away with it”.

In this New World Order, laws have been incrementally passed to set the totalitarian trap shut on people who simply break sparkly greenwashed Future City codes for protesting, says Lynchman. It is intended that the freedom to dissent will become highly risky because the world’s police forces are being steadily militarized with the spectre of terrorism, much of it conducted by ‘deep-state’ actors from the North Atlantic Alliance.

Meanwhile, mass publics have been deliberately demoralized, distracted and disenfranchised in order to avert a global counter-movement to the silent ‘free market’ revolution, in accordance with the ‘1980s Project’ (first reported upon by Laurence Shoup and William Minter in their 1977 book, Imperial Brain Trust), explained Key.

“Most Muggles and Hobbits have experiences but miss their meanings”, said the Smiling Assassin smiling. “It’s a foible that elite policy planners rely on to keep mass populaces in holding patterns”.

Not surprisingly, Key says he liked Turei’s idea to create an ‘Aqua Alliance’ because he saw in it a new mechanism for such a ‘holding pattern’. Indeed, the Smiling Assassin liked the Green co-leader’s idea so much he exclaimed, “You ripper!” and the pair got into the spirit of spring on a leafy bed prepared by the Seven Sisters of Papatūānuku.

Turei and Key rooted among the native trees in the Seduction, the Fantastic Rocking Horse, and the Splitting Bamboo sex positions of Karma Sutra fame.

During these sex positions, Turei gave Key a new creation to get him through the repercussions of the Dirty Politics scandal. She calls her creation the ‘Blue Steely Resolve Face Look’, which Key had “down-pat” by the time they had finished consummating their Political Sex Partnership (PSP). (See accompanying story: ‘Blue Steely Resolve Face Look’).

Blue Steely Resolve Face: Appearing sincere, assertive and firm all with one look.

Blue Steely Resolve Face: Appearing sincere, assertive and firm all with one look.

 

New Zealand’s first ‘Aqua Couple’ said they had been “testing the water” before announcing it to their respective parties, and the public, in keeping with the New Zealand economy’s role in the global economy as a live experimental lab to test new technologies, ideas and propaganda before the world gets hit with them.

“It’s been a wonderful couple of months”, said Turei. “Except, for the weird totalitarian nightmares that I keep having when my head is close to John’s. They are like a fusion of Bladerunner, Brave New World, Nineteen Eighty-four, Neuromancer, THX-1138, and Jennifer Government. There’s an unsettling feeling to them, that unseen power brokers suck everyone into their ‘hi-tech dream-world’ – forever.”

“We’re like the lab rabbits”, said Key, “only Metiria and I are not being made to wear toxic make-up”.

“You would think that in capitalist societies where tricking your kids into believing that Santa is benign, it would make Hobbits and Muggles more skeptical about everything once they find out the whole world is in on the lie”, chuckled Key. “I mean,  every grown-up now knows that Santa has out-sourced his vast manufacturing operations to the sweat-shops of perpetually developing Brown Economies, powered as they are by coal and oil. It’s a rich white man’s world”, and we lure Hobbits and Muggles with colours right from their very first Christmas when they all ignore the toys and play with the packaging”, sniggered the Smiling Assassin.

==========

Amazonian-American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominate the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues.  Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer,  a newspaper that movie critics think is just make-believe because it was depicted in the film Citizen Kane. She was recently gifted Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth on a recent holiday to her ancestral home of Paradise Island, which is driving other reporters mad with envy. SEE: Snoopman News http://snoopman.net.nz

See story: Blue Steely Resolve Face: How John Key was Mentored to Appear Sincere, Assertive and Firm with One Look, and What It’s Hiding.

NZ PM Writes to ‘Missing Million’ Voters, “Thanks for not voting, loser”.

‘Nice Guy’ Key: NZ’s Prime minister drafts of the smugly-toned ‘Missing Million’ voters letter in Cabinet Diary.

‘Nice Guy’ Key: NZ’s Prime minister drafts of the smugly-toned ‘Missing Million’ voters letter in Cabinet Diary.

By Sophia Bigg-Storm, 6 October 2014

 

Mr ‘Nice Guy’ Congratulates Losers

New Zealand’s prime minister John Key shocked the economy’s police, armed forces and intelligence services on the election night of September 20 following his party’s third-term win. The shock was not because Key and the National Party made it through a Dirty Politics scandal that erupted five weeks earlier, largely unscathed.[1]

Rather, it has emerged that the rich-lister prime minister mumbled in his smug excitement among a crowd of party faithful, “We need to find the Missing Million-”.[2] A nerdy aide took the remark as a directive. What ensued will go down in New Zealand folklore as one of biggest near misses in the Annals of Political Miscalculations History and will ultimately bring down Key’s government.

Soaking up the Suck-luckers: The smarmy Smiling Assassin’s victory a perversion of democracy.

Soaking up the Suck-luckers: The smarmy Smiling Assassin’s victory a perversion of democracy.

John Key’s mumbled Mission Million comment actually referred to a letter he drafted the previous night to the ‘Missing Million’ people who the prime minister expected would not cast a vote, to sarcastically thank them for helping him re-win power. (The actual number was slightly less than a million).[3] But when Key said to his geeky aide, “We need to find the Missing Million-” he did not finish his sentence because of the excited commotion. Key meant to say, “We need to find the Missing Million letter.”

Key, who was with one of his senior advisors and top P.R. man Jason Ede the night before when he wrote the letter, neglected to confide with his aide that he had written it. Evidently, this was because he had been half-cut (or half-drunk), and the prime minister allegedly has a poor memory problem. The well-meaning aide promptly alerted the police commissioner, the head of defence and assorted spooks. Bless.

Rocky Drive: John Key’s senior advisor and top P.R. man Jason Ede likes to play hard and unfair and hates to be the subject of publicity.

Rocky Drive: John Key’s senior advisor and top P.R. man Jason Ede likes to play hard and unfair and hates to be the subject of publicity.

Despite the police, armed forces and intelligence services initially mobilizing to launch the largest search and rescue operation in the New Zealand economy’s history to find the ‘Missing Million’ people, John Key quietly located the letter that he intended to be mailed to each of the expected one million non-voters.

But, Key’s foray into congratulatory spam-letters for voting truants was officially censored by the Governor-General Sir Gerry Mataparae, who found out about the impending search and rescue operation when an unnamed advisor messaged him via his Facebook tip-line. This person emphasized that Key’s Mission Million letter would trigger a ‘constitutional crisis’.[4]

The Governor-General has the power to dissolve parliament if it loses the confidence of the House, or the population, to govern. Such a situation is known as a ‘constitutional crisis’, or time for the Queen of New Zealand to draw the ‘Veto Power’ card from her bra.

The suppressed letter, which was written in a slyly smug tone, spells out to the nearly one million eligible voters who did not cast a vote at the September 20 election, that key insiders of the National Party had pursued a two-track communications strategy. The two-track communications approach cast John Key as ‘Mr Nice Guy’, while dirty political attacks were outsourced to popular right-wing blog-sites, such as Whale Oil and Kiwiblog.[5]

Evidently, Key’s election night smugness set in, despite claiming on TV3’s Campbell Live following his party’s win, that he and National were keen not to be seen as arrogant, a common criticism of his government over the previous six years. “I was cast as ‘Mr Nice Guy’ so that the sucker-lucker public wouldn’t think for a moment that the minor scandals, embarrassing smears, and gaffs that were blown out of proportion by a compliant propagandist news media system had anything to do with me”, Key divulged to his intended audience of one million “losers”.[6]

Winning by Any Means Necessary: The ‘Smiling Assassin’ hand writes the official draft into the Cabinet Diary.

Winning by Any Means Necessary: The ‘Smiling Assassin’ hand writes the official draft into the Cabinet Diary.

The censored letter was obtained under the Official Information Act, and processed with unexpected speed, the kind thought only possible if you were right-wing attack blogger, Cameron Slater, who had been able to scoop mainstream news outlets due to his connections with corrupt key insiders of the NZ government. Incredibly, Key had drafted the letter at the suggestion of one of his senior advisors and top P.R. man Jason Ede, on the Friday before the election.

Chalk and Cheese: Right-wing blogger Cameron Slater and rich-lister John Key in happier nights.

Chalk and Cheese: Right-wing blogger Cameron Slater and rich-lister John Key in happier nights.

However, when Gerry Mateparae was informed about the congratulatory letter on Sunday September 21, the Governor-General immediately intervened. In the feud that followed, John Key said ‘Fuck’, and variants thereof a lot, according to a source familiar with the argument. Key blamed Jason Ede for the forthright letter and he was scape-goated to ‘resolve’ the crisis, the source said. This was the real reason that Ede resigned.

When I found Key flanked by his minders, he claimed it was the Office of the Prime Minster that signed the letter, not himself personally. Furthermore, Key, who earned the nickname the Smiling Assassin during his former life as a Dark Wizard banker said Jason Ede drafted the brazen letter.[7] “Look at the end of the day, New Zealanders are interested in what’s best for the economy, not what happens behind closed doors in government”, Key said with a Squinchy Nose Face, a character ‘tell’ when he is downplaying a matter to hide another lie.

Squinchy Key Nose: When NZ’s PM John Key is lying, one of his ‘tells’ is his Squinchy Nose Face.

Squinchy Key Nose: When NZ’s PM John Key is lying, one of his ‘tells’ is his Squinchy Nose Face.

Professor Norman Dodd of Auckland University’s School of Government Psychological Operations stated the phrase “at the end of day” has been spread as a meme throughout the New Zealand economy to bypass the Fightless Kiwi population’s already compromised critical thinking processes. “New Zealanders who identify as Kiwis use the phrase “at the end of day” before they deliver their viewpoint as a way to assert authority over their audience. Most Kiwis say it in the way they use other clichéd phrases, where critical thinking is absent. But skilled manipulators such as John Key use it to trick people to agree with them.”

Jason Ede could not be found for comment, but left a note on the front-door of his house.[10] In the note, Ede threatened New Zealand’s news media claiming he had their metadata and that he would develop an App that combined Google Maps with lie detector technology. Ede said he would use the invention to show that they were “not as neutral in National’s third term win” as they were all pretending.

World’s Slyest PR Man: Jason Ede threatens NZ’s news media with a yet-to-be invented metadata hungry App.

World’s Slyest PR Man: Jason Ede threatens NZ’s news media with a yet-to-be invented metadata hungry App.

National Party president Peter Goodfellow, whose family is estimated to be worth $500 million, said he was relieved that no “vulnerable persons” in his party were exposed during the election campaign, especially when phrases such as “name suppression” and “prominent New Zealander” became news in mid-July.[11]

Safe Pair of Hands: National Party president Peter Goodfellow helped keep up the illusion that dynastic families such as his don’t covertly influence New Zealand law.

Safe Pair of Hands: National Party president Peter Goodfellow helped keep up the illusion that dynastic families such as his don’t covertly influence New Zealand law.

“I was so relieved that my safe pair of hands helped get us through the election unscathed”, said Goodfellow, “especially since my good friend John Key had scornfully jeered at Labour’s leader, David Cunliffe, for saying ‘sorry for being a man’ at the Women’s Refuge Symposium.[12] Cunliffe is such a sissy.”[13]

I nodded slowly. It was like Goodfellow was used to women rooting for him.[14] “Like Key said”, Goodfellow continued, “there’s ‘actually a small group of men’ that are ‘violent’ and ‘abusive’ and ‘they need to be held to account’, but you know jailing that ‘small group of men’ is tricky when they are rich, powerful and vulnerable”.[15]

“Silly” Cunliffe: John Key said he’d love see to his Labour Party counterpart say, “sorry for being a man” at rugby clubs.

“Silly” Cunliffe: John Key said he’d love see to his Labour Party counterpart say, “sorry for being a man” at rugby clubs.

 

At the End of the First 100 days

Key’s ‘Missing Million’ letter goes to heart of how the rich and powerful can prey upon people’s vulnerabilities, win their trust and then victimize them with multiple forms of structural violence.[16]

“My top PR-man and senior advisor, Jason Ede, led these dirty political attacks”, wrote Key, “while he was on the National Party payroll, which meant he could perform his covert activities outside pesky official information request processes. In other words, unless you had a fly on the wall inside his office, two doors down from mine, you couldn’t tell – as a naive New Zealander – what he was doing.”

Portrait of an Attack Dog: Right-wing blogger David Farrar was National’s polling czar, while simultaneously he wrote dirty political attacks on Kiwiblog.

Portrait of an Attack Dog: Right-wing blogger David Farrar was National’s polling czar, while simultaneously he wrote dirty political attacks on Kiwiblog.

New Zealand’s prime minister went onto explain in the letter, that he now admitted was “unwise”, “The media focused mostly on right-wing attack dog blogger Cameron Slater, whose communications were hacked.[17] Slater did a great job attacking left-wing opponents. But, it was right-wing blogger David Farrar of Kiwiblog fame (Est. 2003) who, essentially, lived a double-life as National’s chief pollster since 2004. Farrar was well-placed to write ‘attack dog’ articles on his popular right-wing blog-site, Kiwiblog, utilizing insider information about issues that National and our opponents were either strong or weak on, according to population demographics across the country, tracked over time.”

A Picture Tells Tales of 10,000 Blogs: John Key flanked by his right-wing attack dog bloggers, David Farrar (left) and Cameron Slater (right).

A Picture Tells Tales of 10,000 Blogs: John Key flanked by his right-wing attack dog bloggers, David Farrar (left) and Cameron Slater (right).

Key was still in a candid mood two days after the election. The ex-London and Wall Street banker, who was first head-hunted to lead the National Party in 1998 by then-National Party president John Slater (father of Whale Oil blogger Cameron Slater), admitted in a pre-recorded interview on Campbell Live that dirty attack politics benefits right wing parties such as National’s, while it hurts left-wing ones more.[18]

In other words, Key accepted the thrust of Hager’s book that the dirty political attacks had been occurring, that such attacks benefited his party, and yet he had stuck to his slanderous, logically flawed counter-attack argument that the author of Dirty Politics was a ‘left wing conspiracy theoristall the way through the election campaign.[19]

Brazen Victory: John Key admitted two days after his election win that dirty political attacks helped his party gain and stay-in power.[20]

Brazen Victory: John Key admitted two days after his election win that dirty political attacks helped his party gain and stay-in power.[20]

“At the end of the first 100 days – a media ritual where reporters can be counted on to be big softies on politicians, but you knew that Sophia – Kiwis want to know that they’ll have jobs to pay Santa’s huge bill after Xmas, because they’ve been trained-up through advertising to overspend. That’s why I timed the election to be held on September 20,” Key said, knowing that his psychopathic powers do not work on me.

Nor was Key trying to convince Snoopman News’ miniscule audience. Key was taunting us with candid answers that he calculated, incorrectly, hardly anyone would read this story. What he did not know was that we had obtained a copy of the Missing Million letter from a staff member within the Department of the Prime Minister who saw our official information request and leaked the letter before it got classified Top Secret.

After we interviewed everyone for this story, we took the precaution of counter-leaking the letter via a Twitter account called SpeedySnailMailDump, and because it keeps getting taken down, SpeedySnailMailDump2, SpeedySnailMailDump3 and counting. It has since gone viral on Facebook and can be found here and is mirrored here and archived here on Scoop News.[21]  We also consulted a Tarot card reader Tamzin Lucky-Luste, who confirmed this unfolding event is portentous, and wagered her landlord’s house that the Key Ministry would collapse within six months.

Still stranger things could happen. Christ could make his comeback as a Hollywood movie star upsetting the Vatican’s plans to fake the discovery of a messiah child for Christmas 2017, and Brad Pitt’s ambition to play the legendary figure better than Mel Gibson with a story to make the papal monarch kneel for mercy.[22]

Evidently, the Attorney-General for New Zealand and former Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Chris Finlayson, who it is said never blinks, was also in the same goading mood as John Key. Finlayson said, “It’s lucky for us that New Zealand’s ruling class has exploited the economy’s geographical isolation over many decades, to condition Kiwis to be passive, fightless and dim-witted. The New Zealand push-over population is an enduring legacy of our dynastic families’ cultural toanga (or gift) to the economy”, he remarked sternly. I can confirm New Zealand’s Attorney-General does not blink.

Toothless Inquiry: Chris Finlayson’s pre-election Dirty Politics inquiry had no bite without his boss John Key giving testimony.

Toothless Inquiry: Chris Finlayson’s pre-election Dirty Politics inquiry had no bite without his boss John Key giving testimony.

Auckland University associate law professor Dr. Jane Kelsey wryly stated, “The fact that Attorney-General Finlayson hasn’t been roasted alive for failing to call the prime minister to answer tough questions under oath before the election can only be attributed to FKS, or Fightless Kiwi Syndrome, as we call it in scholarly research.”

Kelsey looked up at the four-storey law library building, where she was due to give a tour five minutes prior, “I mean, if Finlayson’s inaction doesn’t qualify as furtherance of conspiracy, we may as well burn the case law books or breed some very hungry silverfish, to keep our carbon footprint down”. With a single bound, the law professor jumped from the pavement up to a ledge on the fourth floor, broke open an aluminum window, said “Sorry I’m late” to the stunned students, and began her tour for next year’s excited intake.

 

Tracking the Missing Million

The search and rescue mobilization began in the wee hours of the morning following the general election. The Governor-General had called it off in time for elevensies.

According to sources within the state apparatus, the New Zealand Police planned to infiltrate left-wing groups in an effort to find the ‘Missing Million’ voters and raid known activist safe houses at dawn on Monday September 22. The Ministry of Defence intended to use the armed forces to scour the country by land, sea and air. The GCSB (or the Government Communication Security Bureau, for long), which is the only government agency that listens to the people, was frustrated that none of other state forces would hear-out their idea.[23]

John Key’s old school mate and current GCSB Director Ian Fletcher said, “Our idea was to hack into the Electoral Commission’s computer system.[24] We presented the business case to the heads of the police and armed forces via a conference call that took place at the witching hour of 13 o’clock, er, one a.m. They all pretended there was something wrong their lines and us GCSB spooks could hear them making fake crackling sounds.”

“They need to be counting their bloody lucky stars that we didn’t blow the lid on Key’s private joke at the expense of the public over the passage of the GCSB spy bill last year”, added Fletcher unable to contain himself as the anger of being made fun of returned. I raised an eyebrow. Evidently, Fletcher felt it was safe to talk frankly with a journalist from a media outlet run out of shoe-box with a shoe-string economy.

Gaming the Public: New Zealand’s top spook Ian Fletcher was in on the trick to bait Kiwis with a reduced snapper quota, while switching protections against mass surveillance with the passage of the GCSB bill, which made Project Speargun legal.

Gaming the Public: NZ’s top spook Ian Fletcher was in on the trick to bait Kiwis with a reduced snapper quota, while switching protections against mass surveillance with the passage of the GCSB bill, which made Project Speargun legal.

“You’ll recall at the time, Team Key distracted ‘No Nothing New Zealanders’ by threatening to reduce the snapper quota for recreational fishers? And remember that Dotcom henchman, the journalist Glenn Greenwald who revealed Edward Snowden’s NSA slides five days out from the election that showed we needed to get the GCSB spy bill passed, otherwise it would be legal for us to proceed to phase two of Project Speargun?”[25]

I nodded slowly, knowing where this was going because we at Snoopman News had worked this out the day after Greenwald and Snowden appeared at the Moment of Truth meeting held at Auckland’s Town Hall on September 15. I leaned closer, giving him an eye-full of cleavage to keep the spook talking.[26]

Moment of Truth: Edward Snowden says New Zealanders are subject to mass surveillance.

Moment of Truth: Edward Snowden says New Zealanders are subject to mass surveillance.

“We called the operation Project Speargun because attaching spy equipment to the underwater telecommunication cable that connects New Zealand’s rock-star economy to the world economy would have been useless without the legislative greenlight.[27] So, the snapper quota issue was used as a distraction to help implement a secret project that the GCSB bill would make legal, Project SPEARGUN!”, boomed Fletcher breaking into a broad grin.

“Get the insider’s joke? Snapper. Speargun”. I raise my other eyebrow. Obviously, New Zealand government insiders think the population is so dumb, they will not get their complex plots once they are clearly explained.

It was a classic bait and switch maneuver”, said Fletcher. My jaw dropped in pretend surprise. “Bait ‘em with threatening to reduce their snapper take and switch the civil liberties mandate with the entrenchment of a mass surveillance net.”

Bait and Switch Move: The Snapper quota issue was a distraction to get the GCSB spy bill to legalize Project SPEARGUN, a secret underwater cable-tapping operation.

Bait and Switch Move: The Snapper quota issue was a distraction to get the GCSB spy bill to legalize Project SPEARGUN, a secret underwater cable-tapping operation.

When Project Speargun became news Key downplayed the spy agency’s mass surveillance role, and instead emphasized its ‘cyber protection’ function. He cleverly offered up ‘just-in-time’ declassified documents about a programme called CORTEX.[28] “It was a red-herring argument”, chuckled the country’s top spook. “The prime minister’s statements are public relations narratives constructed by Jason Ede, who is one of the best propagandists this far-flung economy has produced”.

The GCSB boss said that Lorde’s homeland had lost the services of a great dark satirist, and believes that had Operation Missing Million By-Catch gone ahead, Ede could have spun a spectacularly savvy yarn for Fightless Kiwis to swallow hook, line and sinker.

It turns out that even the Westpac Rescue helicopter crews got in on the action first and spent much of night scouring New Zealand’s coastlines, including Auckland’s notorious west coast beaches, to look for one million missing people. They had got wind of the planned search and rescue operation, but failed to coordinate their efforts with the police, defence and intelligence apparatus.

When asked why Westpac Rescue were so independent-minded, chopper pilot ‘Skipper’ Richmond said that, “because the helicopter is sponsored by Westpac Banking Corporation, which is owned by Merrill Lynch, JPMorganChase, Citibank, Goldman Sachs, Hong Kong Shanghai Savings Bank, Deutsche Bank, and National Australia Bank, among others, we naturally made our move like our predatory owners.[29] They love to make enormous profits by acting stealthily in collusion with the authorities“, the chopper pilot said proudly. “In a nutshell, we thought were doing our bit to advance the neo-liberal ‘free-market’ project on behalf of dynastic families, both foreign and domestic”.[30]

I raised an eyebrow. “You know,” Richmond continued, “close the net incrementally, round-up free market capitalism’s missing stock, and keep a closer watch on their metadata in case they try escape across the moat undetected”, the helicopter pilot said cheerfully the way people who have developed Don’t-Give-a-Shit Syndrome (D-GASS) because they are financially comfortable and have dieted on TV dinners that are ideologically-infused with neo-liberalism.[31]

At the end of August, John Key claimed he knew the names of every New Zealander who had left for Australia in the prior two months.[32] Richmond said it was important that a million people did not “just up and leave” because they were needed to pay the extra billions the Key government had borrowed from “unnamed foreign pixies”.[33]

Searching for the ‘Missing Million’: Westpac Rescue scoured New Zealand’s coastlines to see if they could find a million people trying to leave New Zealand before it turned completely blue.

Searching for the ‘Missing Million’: Westpac Rescue scoured New Zealand’s coastlines to see if they could find a million people trying to leave New Zealand before it turned completely blue.

In the pre-dawn light, Westpac Rescue found a couple skinny-dipping at a posh Herne Bay beach on the way back to base. When asked if they voted, the pair (whose families are behind the Colmar-Brunton polling company) said, “Team Key, fuck yeah”, they yelled in unison. “We’ve been rooting for Key all through the sporty bombardment of the polling heats”, said Brendan Brunton.

Collette Colmar chimed in cheerily, “We thought what better way to celebrate an election campaign win than skinny dip at dawn. Because, at the beginning of the day, it’s the best way to get the mix right between politics and sport, by having sex with someone of the same race, wealth and privileged class among a school of free-range GPS-tracked snapper.”

====================

SEE: NZ PM John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter
http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2359

====================

Amazonian-American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominate the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues.  Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer,  a newspaper that movie critics think is just make-believe because it was depicted in the film Citizen Kane. She was recently gifted Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth on a recent holiday to her ancestral home of Paradise Island, which is driving other reporters mad with envy. SEE: Snoopman News http://snoopman.net.nz

====================

Sources:

[1] Nicky Hager. “New Zealand elections: dirty tricks helped John Key win another term” at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/new-zealand-elections-dirty-tricks-helped-john-key-win-another-term

[2] Rob Hosking “RICH LIST 2014: John Key’s wealth jumps $5 million” at:  http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/rich-list-john-keys-wealth-jumps-5-million-rh-p-160150

[3] Chris Keall “Election 2014: Left routed” at: http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/election-2014-left-routed-ck-162732

[4] “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1410/S00029/john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter.htm

[5] Nicky Hager. “New Zealand elections: dirty tricks helped John Key win another term” at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/new-zealand-elections-dirty-tricks-helped-john-key-win-another-term

[6] Bryan Gould. “The real John Key?” at: http://thestandard.org.nz/the-real-john-key/; Nicky Hager. “New Zealand elections: dirty tricks helped John Key win another term” at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/new-zealand-elections-dirty-tricks-helped-john-key-win-another-term;  “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/10/05/nz-pm-john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter/

[7] Simon Twoleftfeet. “Conjuring the Smiling Assassin” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/06/21/conjuring-the-smiling-assassin/

[8] John Campbell. “John Key End of the Day interviews at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B811XSGf–A&feature=youtu.be

[9] As above.

[10] Isaac Davidson. “Key: Ede happy to move on” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11329561; “NZ POLITICS DAILY: Deception and integrity in politics and public life” at: http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/NZ-POLITICS-DAILY-13-dec; “Senior Key staffer’s rubbish pic duty” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/9510189/Senior-Key-staffers-rubbish-pic-duty; “PM’s office distances itself from party photographer” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=11171491

[11]  The National Business Review Rich List 2013 at: http://shareinvestornz.blogspot.co.nz/2013/07/2013-nbr-rich-list.html; Donna Chrisholm. (December 2010). “The Not So Jolly Goodfellows.” Metro. Issue 349, p60; Herald on Sunday editorial: “Powerful, rich – and vulnerable” at http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=11216534; Bevan Hurley “Politician gets to keep details of divorce secret” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11216464; Jonathan Marshall. “Tangled National love triangle” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/sunday-news/latest-edition/2778538/Tangled-National-love-triangle; Rodney Hide: “Forget Rolf, Maggie. We have our own sexual predator to name and shame” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11292524; Rodney Hide: “Rape culture protects predators” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11296242; “Name suppression controversy for prominent New Zealander” at: http://www.3news.co.nz/tvshows/paulhenryshow/name-suppression-controversy-for-prominent-new-zealander-2014072822; “And now An All Black joins the ‘sexual assault’ list of NZ” http://www.nzjudgethejudges.com/blog/and-now-an-all-black-joins-the-sexual-assault-list-of-nz; “I’m right behind blogger’s challenge to suppression” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/sunday-star-times/columnists/3235251/I-m-right-behind-bloggers-challenge-to-suppression

[12]  Audrey Young. “Nats pass reins to ‘safe pair of hands’” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10588304; “David Cunliffe: I’m sorry for being a man” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11287736; “Cunliffe apologises ‘for being a man’” at: http://www.3news.co.nz/politics/cunliffe-apologises-for-being-a-man-2014070414.

[13]  GUEST BLOG: Miriam Pierard – Dreams become reality when we take action – A response to the NZ Women’s Refuge Symposium and the attacks on David Cunliffe – See more at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2014/07/05/guest-blog-miriam-pierard-dreams-become-reality-when-we-take-action-a-response-to-the-nz-womens-refuge-symposium-and-the-attacks-on-david-cunliffe/#sthash.E2KjlejH.dpuf; http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11292050; http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11292050; “Bryce Edwards: Does New Zealand have a ‘rape culture’?” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11292050;  Chloe King. “I got an apology”… said no survivor of rape or gendered violence ever – See more at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2014/07/11/i-got-an-apology-said-no-survivor-of-rape-or-gendered-violence-ever/#sthash.lTovTgu8.bHqQDvnW.dpuf

[14] Cameron Slater. HoS editorial on Name Suppression for the “Politician” at: http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/2014/03/hos-editorial-name-suppression-politician/

[15] “Cunliffe’s apology for being a man ‘insulting’ – Key” at http://tvnz.co.nz/politics-news/cunliffe-s-apology-being-man-insulting-key-6020931; Herald on Sunday editorial: “Powerful, rich – and vulnerable” at http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=11216534; Bevan Hurley “Politician gets to keep details of divorce secret” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11216464

[16] “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1410/S00029/john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter.htm; Nicky Hager. “New Zealand elections: dirty tricks helped John Key win another term” at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/new-zealand-elections-dirty-tricks-helped-john-key-win-another-term; The Shock Doctrine – Naomi Klein on Vimeo vimeo.com/26718047; Bryan Bruce. “Mind The Gap” at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__2EdGFdgTA

[17] “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1410/S00029/john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter.htm; SEE ALSO: Nicky Hager. (2014). Dirty Politics: How Attack Politics is Poisoning New Zealand’s Political Environment. Nelson, NZ: Craig Potten Publishing.

[18] Rapson, Bevan (26 April 2005). “Golden Boy”. Metro Magazine. Archived from the original on 28 February 2008; Bingham, Eugene (26 July 2008). “Ambush in the West”. The New Zealand Herald; http://www.3news.co.nz/tvshows/campbelllive/keys-outlook-goals-for-the-next-three-years-2014092220

[19] “Video: Key faces more Dirty Politics questions” at: http://www.3news.co.nz/politics/video-key-faces-more-dirty-politics-questions-2014082109; Toby Manhire. “The whale that swallowed New Zealand’s election campaign” at: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/23/-sp-new-zealand-election-john-key-alleged-dirty-politics

[20] “John Key’s outlook, goals for the next three years”  Read more: http://www.3news.co.nz/tvshows/campbelllive/keys-outlook-goals-for-the-next-three-years-2014092220#ixzz3Fh3wIpal

[21] “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/10/05/nz-pm-john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter/; https://snoopman.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/nz-pm-john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter/; http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1410/S00029/john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter.htm

[22] Robert Parry “Pope Francis, CIA and ‘Death Squads’” at: http://www.globalresearch.ca/pope-francis-cia-and-death-squads/5327274; Prof Michel Chossudovsky “Washington’s Pope”? Who is Pope Francis I?” at: http://www.globalresearch.ca/washingtons-pope-who-is-francis-i-cardinal-jorge-mario-bergoglio-and-argentinas-dirty-war/5326675

[23]  Karol. “The long reach of “5 Eyes: re-post.” at: http://thestandard.org.nz/the-long-reach-of-5-eyes-re-post/

[24] Adam Bennett. “PM plays down friendship with GCSB boss.” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10874015

[25] “VIDEO: Glenn Greenwald and mass surveillance” at: http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/auckland/election/ondemand/mhb-video-leaders-breakfast-john-key-glenn-greenwald-15sep2014; “The Moment of Truth.” Auckland Town Hall. September 15 2014. [Event starts at 21mins] at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbps1EwAW-0

[26] As above.

[27]  Dr David Robie. “Key accused of allowing secret ‘spook’ cable sensors to spy on citizens” – See more at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2014/09/16/pm-key-accused-of-allowing-secret-spook-cable-sensors-to-spy-on-citizens/#sthash.6o4P3SBY.dpuf

[28] “Project SPEARGUN underway” at: http://publicaddress.net/onpoint/project-speargun-underway/

[29] Wake Up New Zealand.  “Who Owns New Zealand’s Banks?” at: http://www.wakeupkiwi.com/who-owns-new-zealand-banks.shtml; ALSO SEE Chapter 2 in: Steve Edwards. “It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid” http://aut.researchgateway.ac.nz/handle/10292/5536

[30] Sophia Bigg-Storm. “Harry Potter Breaks Hollywood Gag-clause, Stuns World Leaders into Unscheduled Epic Three Minutes of Silence” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/07/19/harry-potter-breaks-hollywood-gag-clause/; The Shock Doctrine at: vimeo.com/26718047; Snoopman. (2014, March 10). “Code Purple: Whistle Blowing on ‘Free markets’, the ‘Shock Doctrine’ and ‘New Constitutionalism’”. Snoopman News. Retrieved from http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/03/10/code-purple/

[31] Snoopman. (2014, May 17). “When Black Things Propel Us: Deep State Power Crimes”. Snoopman News. Retrieved from http://snoopman.net.nz/…/17/when-black-things-propel-us/; Snoopman. (2014, March 10). “Code Purple: Whistle Blowing on ‘Free markets’, the ‘Shock Doctrine’ and ‘New Constitutionalism’”. Snoopman News. Retrieved from http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/03/10/code-purple/; Michael Field. “Sophisticated surveillance coming to Auckland” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/10567293/Sophisticated-surveillance-coming-to-Auckland; Bryan Bruce. Mind the Gap at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__2EdGFdgTA; Snoopman. (August 31, 2013). “A Poorly Understood ‘Bargain’: How Democracy and the 60s Movements became Orphans in the ‘Free Market’ Era” at:  http://snoopman.net.nz/2013/08/31/a-poorly-understood-bargain-or-how-democracy-and-the-60s-movements-became-orphans-in-the-free-market-era/

[32] “As it happened: Leaders Debate – John Key vs David Cunliffe” at: http://tvnz.co.nz/vote-2014-news/happened-leaders-debate-john-key-vs-david-cunliffe-6066730

[33] Vernon Small. “John Key reveals plan for asset sales” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/4582922/John-Key-reveals-plan-for-asset-sales; Simon Twoleftfeet . “Conjuring the Smiling Assassin.” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/06/21/conjuring-the-smiling-assassin/

[34] Frank Macskasy. “Polls, propaganda, and Tracy Watkins.” at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2014/09/07/polls-propaganda-and-tracy-watkins/

 

==================

Story mirrored at: NZ PM Writes to ‘Missing Million’ Voters, “Thanks for not voting, loser”. http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/10/05/nz-pm-writes-to-missing-million-voters-thanks-for-not-voting-loser/

NZ PM John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter

Winning by Any Means Necessary: The ‘Smiling Assassin’ writes a draft in the Cabinet Diary.

Winning by Any Means Necessary: The ‘Smiling Assassin’ writes a draft in the Cabinet Diary.

 

Checking in: Neo-liberal Team Blue wants the Herald's readers to think New Zealand won't work without them.

21 September 2014

[INSERT NON-VOTING LOSER’S ADDRESS HERE]

 

Dear [INSERT NON-VOTING LOSER’S NAME HERE],

Congratulations for being one of the ‘Missing Million’ Voters who chose not to vote in the New Zealand economy’s 2014 general election. Your absenteeism was not only crucial for the National Party’s hat-trick win. It was also the result of a deliberate, and let’s be honest, ruthless strategy to turn lefties, and especially young people, off voting.

Since I became leader eight years ago, we at National (AKA Brand Key) have pursued a ‘two-track’ communications strategy to quite literally undermine ‘democracy’. The key to our hidden agenda was to outsource dirty political attacks of the kind that journalist Nicky Hager exposed in his book Dirty Politics, to right-wing blog-sites, such as Whale Oil and Kiwiblog.

These nasty assaults were mostly aimed at National’s opponents to discredit them, attack centrist National Party politicians to shift the party further to the right, and influence the outcomes of elections.

My top PR-man and senior advisor, Jason Ede, led these dirty political attacks while he was on the National Party payroll, which meant he could perform his covert activities outside pesky official information request processes. In other words, unless you had a fly on the wall inside his office, two doors down from mine, you couldn’t tell – as a naive New Zealander – what he was doing.

The media focused mostly on right-wing ‘attack dog’ blogger Cameron Slater, whose communications were hacked. Slater did a great job attacking left-wing opponents. But, it was right-wing blogger David Farrar of Kiwiblog fame (Est. 2003) who, essentially, lived a double-life as National’s chief pollster since 2004. Farrar was well-placed to write ‘attack dog’ articles on his popular right-wing blog-site, Kiwiblog, utilizing insider information about issues that National and our opponents were either strong or weak on, according to population demographics across the country, tracked over time.

Meanwhile, I was cast as ‘Mr Nice Guy’ so that the slucker-lucker public wouldn’t think for a moment that the minor scandals, embarrassing smears, and gaffs that were blown out of proportion by a compliant propagandist news media system, had anything to do with me. Indeed, it’s a damning reflection on New Zealand’s mainstream media because they all failed to lead their news bulletins, front-pages and magazine covers with these key findings of Nicky Hager’s meddling investigation.

The intent behind dirty political attacks is that they project the idea politics is a mucky business, and cannot possibly be done ‘above-board’. To make it super-clear, we at Team Key have perpetrated these crimes of power knowing that it benefits right wing parties such as ours because conservative right-wing voters with investments; whether businesses, financial portfolios, or houses they never intend to pay for, will still turn out to vote in a dirty political attack environment.

I make these brazen disclosures because I regard you as not only stupid. But, also because you are a bona fide Fightless Kiwi that is too disempowered to organize, strategize and mobilize (much like your apathetic suck-lucker voting cousins).

So, thanks for not voting, loser. Don’t feel bad. There are 999,999 other losers just like you.

Yours smugly,

John Phillip Key.

AKA Prime Minister of New Zealand,

or The Prime Minister’s Office,

or The Department of the Prime Minister,

AKA My Henchmen.

P.S. Thanks a Million. Like transformers, there’s more to this scandal than meets the eye.

====================

SEE FULL SATIRICAL STORY: NZ PM Writes to ‘Missing Million’ Voters, “Thanks for not voting, loser”.  at: http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2371

Thanks a Million: Like transformers, there’s more to this scandal than meets the eye.

Thanks a Million: Like transformers, there’s more to this scandal than meets the eye.

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