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Why I Rented-a-Crowd of Misinformed Protesters

Syndicated Soap Actor: Nu Zullin’s prime minister comes with strings attached. Photo/Artwork: Tatooine Pirate Media

Syndicated Soap Actor: Nu Zullin’s prime minister comes with strings attached. Photo/Artwork: Tatooine Pirate Media

Words by Steve Edwards

With sagely insight, Nu Zillun’s foremost Infallible Expert on Everything, prime minister John Key, opined that protesters who demonstrated in nationwide rallies across the South Pacific island nation against the impending Trans-Pacific Partnership on August 15, were “misinformed” and merely a “rent-a-crowd”. [Like many New Zealanders, John Key mashes his vowels with his consonants like they’re peas to be lost in mushed potatoes, so that New Zealand becomes Nu Zillun when spokun. – Ed.]

I’m going to climb the lab-engineered Capitalist State Tree and crawl out on its dying limb, Democracy, to explain why Key is one trillion market points correct.

But to comprehend the significance of the bombshell disclosure I’m dropping here, it’s crucial that we are on ‘need-to-know-basis’ terms. This means you-need-to-know my family’s great secret, how I came to know what I know and why I want you to know what I know is dangerous to the world if it remains an ‘unknown known’, so to speak.

My family became incredibly wealthy by outsourcing our aversion to poverty to those that worked hard for us. With investments in land, wool, dairy, timber, mining, construction and puddle-proof boots in a country the size of Great Britain and with only the ‘rebel natives’ to foil the British Empire’s imperial plans in the 1860s when my forebears immigrated, you couldn’t go wrong. Like the British aristocracy, we did it through shell companies, Freemasonry and proxy agents with forgettable faces. Today, my families’ Top 40 investments are vital to the Nu Zillun rock-star economy.

The transformations taking place now in the Free-For-All-Insiders global economy have a long genealogy with so many entwined tentacles that they may one day inspire an epic political thriller called The Octopus. Back in the early 1970s, a group called the Council of 13 invited me to help them reassert control of the world. The Council of 13 had their dapperly dressed puppets enthusiastically working on a secret blueprint blandly called the ‘1980s Project’ at an equally insipidly named global policy-shaping think-tank, the Council on Foreign Relations, headquartered in New York. The ‘1980s Project’ prescribed a new alliance between the greedy and powerful Corporate Octopoda Order of America and Europe to include the Baby Octopoda Order of Japan.

Wisely, the plan wasn’t called something like ‘Project Octopus’ because Laurence Shoup and William Minter revealed part of this plan in their book, The Imperial Brain Trust. Because hardly anyone read the ‘serious stuff’ genre even back then when books were only available in 3D, we knew we were safe. The Council of 13’s directive was to address threats to their hidden rule over the plundered, bombed and under-priced planet, as corny and ‘conspiracy theory’ as that sounds.

The threats faced by these Octopus Capitalists from the North Western Atlantic included the pesky peoples’ movements that had emerged in the valve-tube TV days of the 1960s such as the ‘pigment-focused’ Civil Rights, the ‘peacenik’ Anti-War and the ‘girl’s blousy’ Feminist movements. That was how the ‘1980’s Project’ nerds described them in conversations. The ‘whining’ developmental demands of the perpetually Last Place Third World countries, that sought to gain western technology as a ‘fair trade’ for supplying resources ‘gained fair and square through conquest, coercion and corruption’, were also viewed as dangerous. The ‘1980s Project’ sought to hinder the efforts of these ‘disobedients’ through the financial discipline of cunningly re-regulated ‘free markets’.

My contribution was to plan the deployment of ‘free market economic shock treatments’ to the Nu Zillun economy. Coming from a country with a population of ‘sissy conformists’, as our telephone surveys found, I envisaged that the tiny South Pacific Realm of the British Empire would capitulate to corporate raiders straight after an election with pre-scripted scary news of an engineered financial crisis, without mentioning the engineered bit. This scheming started at a time when the United States was ‘losing’ the American War on Vietnam in 1971.

We considered it vital to what is really a Global Neo-Colonial Project that apathy would become widespread worldwide. To this end, we deemed it crucial to depoliticize, downplay and dumb-down important issues. We called it ‘2D Optics’ because we realized that if you can ‘control the optics’, especially by faking sincerity through the media, you’ve got it made. Not only did we invent systemic apathy without announcing it on The News, which is a historical syndicated soap written by dark satirists, we also schemed with news and entertainment moguls to consolidate the media industry into corporate cartels that would mass-produce every distraction imaginable under the soon-to-be-privatized sunlight. That’s the real purpose behind wall-to-wall sports coverage, Same ol’ Same ol’ movies and universally re-versioned reality TV junk content. The Octopus Capitalists wanted citizens recast as ‘consumers’ who wouldn’t care anymore about how the world was being run. So, when those ‘Toto the pesky dog moments’, as we called them, revealed “that man behind the curtain” was faking it as a wizard, people cast as consumers would then take the ‘pay no attention’ cues and carry on shopping in an evilly-directed epic pursuit of hollow happiness.

You read dead right. Our objective was to demoralize people by striping their characters’ of ‘annoying’ free-thinking motivations and ‘pesky’ principled behaviours.

We anticipated there would be pesky journalists such as Naomi Klein who identified our global program of economic warfare as ‘the Shock Doctrine’. Klein showed in her book The Shock Doctrine how the Octopus Bankers have been engineering financial and economic crises in order to coerce governments to take emergency loans from the International Monetary Fund. But hobbled governments could only get these emergency loans to stave off widespread social unrest if they sold off public assets. In private, we called it a Debt for Equity Swap. In public, we called it Austerity.

To mitigate this threat of string-free journalists, we took public relations from a cottage industry to a global phenomenon. In doing so, journalists were lured away from newsrooms with more money, ego-stroking access to the Old Boy’s Network and ‘hoes and blow’. Now, the pesky string-less John Pilgers of this dying world can be out-produced by the Octopuses networks and their puppet PR people. As Klein quite rightly said in The Shock Doctrine documentary, “the Shock Doctrine only works if people don’t know about it”.

So, why you may ask, is an insider whistle-blowing on the Octopuses? To answer that, I need to share some more back-story. I became the black sheep of my family by ‘going wild’ when I fell in love with a feminist while on assignment infiltrating left-wing groups in Nu Zillun after my stint on the ‘1980’s Project’. This assignment was the equivalent of the FBI’s seven COINTELPRO – NEW LEFT programs to undermine dissent. During my ‘fall from grace’, ironically with a chick called Grace, I came to see that ‘ordinary people’ are amazing. Their magic is best appreciated up close, away from the set-piece social occasions that dominate the lives of the greedy and infamous.

Adding accelerants to my relations’ firey rage, the entire family was excluded from Nu Zillun’s inner clique, codenamed the ‘Great White Flock’, after they discovered that Grace and I had bred a flock of ‘Disobedients’. This precipitated a crisis among the country’s Twenty Ruling Families, and was the real reason why Nu Zillun’s prime minister Robert Muldoon called a snap-election in mid-June 1984 before a school of reef-fish reporters, while drunk. And that’s why you won’t find the entire Edwards family on the wealth porn Rich List. Among an oligarchy, trust is the hemoglobin that binds bloodlines.

It may surprise you when I say that I was actually going to attend the rally in the largest population center, Auckland City. But I got wind that the stocks, commodities and currencies markets were going to go into meltdown mode the following week, from a few old wealthy friends who quietly empathize with my ‘wild worldviews’. So, I had to scramble to reduce my exposure and right-on cue the global equities markets lost $3.3 trillion in value in a week. The meltdown was reminiscent of the liquidation of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz. It turns out that The Wizard of Oz was an allegory for the American people’s popular struggle to overcome an international banking syndicate that sought to establish a privately-owned central bank through which they could eventually enslave the population with debt.

If that sounds like a nut-bar theory, then ponder the worldwide suppression of systemic banking fraud, whereby credit funds are conjured into existence, marketed as ‘loans’ and the financially-challenged are cast as ‘borrowers’. These ‘borrowers’ include hobbled governments in the make-real world. Central banks and major commercial banks whisk credit out of annoyingly thin-air through the possession of a metaphorical magical wand (or the power of the Octopus Bankers Network to pull unseen levers and press hidden buttons). Or, to put it another way, dynastic banking families and their global banking cartels fool mass suck-lucker populaces into borrowing credit funds into existence while maintaining a Scrooge-scarcity over cash. In other words, I’m talking about that big reveal moment like at the end of The Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy and Friends realize the Wizard is just an old man behind a curtain orchestrating theatrical effects, as journalist Bill Still and Friends make clear in his documentary The Secret of Oz.

To make up for not being able to inflict some damage to Nu Zillun’s Twenty Ruling Families on protest day, I used some spare change to rent-a-crowd across the whole economy. Because it was such short notice, my rent-a-crowd’s numbers weren’t a game-changer for the Twenty Ruling Families’ government. If you are like John Key’s Zombie Faithful Voter Crowd you are doubtless well informed and you ‘don’t do protests’ and so you well know that oligarchs by definition are super-rich people who use their enormous economic wealth to steer the political trajectory of whole societies, as Dr. Jeffrey Winters explains in his 3D book, Oligarchy. You therefore have always known and without needing to read it in a school textbook, that the ‘Invisible Hand’ widely promoted in the 1980s to describe the efficient functioning of ‘free markets’ through price signals was just a euphemism for an unseen oligarchy pulling their puppets’ strings.

Had I been at the Auckland protest, I would have informed the misinformed protesters that the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) is more than just the architecture for a huge economic bloc between the United States and 11 other Pacific Rim countries, including Nu Zillun.

“The TPP is a mega cartel deal“, I intended to yell into a megaphone.

In the present era of so-called ‘free markets’, vast anti-competitive transnational corporations operate as cartels, rather like The Hutt Cartel led by Jabba the Hutt, as depicted in the Star Wars space opera. The huge monopolizing corporate combinations – that dominate extraction, production, distribution, financing, marketing and information dissemination – undermine bona fide competition by fixing prices, controlling supply, and reducing diversity through mass production of similar soon-to-be obsolete services and trashed products. I could inform my Rent-a-Crowd protesters through Nu Zillun’s inquisitive press that collusion is to monopolies what sucking blood is to a dynasty of vampires, but only if the Twenty Ruling Families lost their heads.

Furthermore, the huge economic protective trade-blocs proposed, such as the Trans-Pacific Partnership (or TPP), and its Atlantic Ocean fraternal sibling, the Trans-Atlantic Trade and Investment Partnership, (or TTIP) and the all-encompassing stealthy sibling, Trade in Services Agreement (TiSA) are really about creating a slickly-marketed, hi-tech inverted totalitarian superstructure, worldwide. Indeed, a rotten corporate totalitarian core thrives inside a fictitious democratic shell and is spreading outward from America, as the string-free American journalist Chris Hedges has stated more generally.

Because oligarch John Key is Nu Zillun’s Infallible Expert on Everything, he well knew that in my absence, my Rent-a-Crowd protesters were misinformed about the full extent of the stealthy strategy to amputate Democracy’s dying limb. This is partly because as prime minister, he has access to the country’s mass surveillance data through the Five Eyes’ suck-it-all agency, the GCSB (or the Government Communications Security Bureau, for long). Indeed, Key claimed that exactly one-third of the TPP protesters were misinformed! This intelligence access goes some way to explaining Key’s frequent sagely insights. It gives the ex-London and Wall Street banker an edge not unlike the Eye of Sauron in Lord of the Rings, or the Illuminati’s All Seeing Eye symbol on the Federal Reserve cartel’s next-to-worthless one dollar bills if they had radio frequency spy chips embedded in them to track your every move.

If there were a board game to replace Monopoly, called Oligarchy, Key’s modus operandi could be captured in a pick-up card from the ‘Opportunity in Crisis’ stack that may read:

“Now that you wear the political leader’s hat you need to know that sharing isn’t all bad. Your creed is, ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’. This means you can now export more economic and political power to a stealthy emergent global government run by the Octopoda World Order. The Council of 13 are suited to the task to control an Invisible Empire, because they are impeccably dressed, have awesome propaganda and they are totally trustworthy since they have collectivized a vast military apparatus, do business with tax havens and out-source problems like poverty to jurisdictions of their choosing.”

To their credit, the TPP protesters sensed that the Trans-Pacific Partnership is set to consolidate the power of transnational corporations. The unseen Council of 13 plots behind a purple curtain so vast it obscures these dynastic rulers from view. Because amazing people, now cast as consumers, can’t see the purple curtain’s edges, they are unable to even ‘take-a-peek’ behind it, despite glimpsing it everyday and looking the other way like sheep pretending not to notice the farmer’s dog.

The Octopuses of the Octopoda World Order are the biggest sissies you’ll most probably never meet. Worse still, once you comprehend the grand scale of the spectacle overlaid into the make-real world, you can’t help but notice how bad the acting is. And worser, you’ll be torn between sighing and sniggering about how gullible and dumbed-down the Zombie news audiences are not to notice the bad acting, the B-Grade scripts and the strings attached to creepy scheming tentacles. And worser than worser, you will catch yourself saying, as I have ever since the movie Sixth Sense, when watching The News: “I see puppet people”.

==============================

By day, Steve Edwards edits news at a television station in the New Zealand economy and by night he transmogrifies into Snoopman, the editor-in-chief at Snoopman News. In his thesis, “It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid” that investigated the Global Financial Crisis and bank bailouts of 2007 and 2008, he traced the strategy of an Anglo-American oligarchy to engineer economic and financial crises in order to gain the submission of governments around the world to the ‘free market’ economic framework. He is not related to anyone on New Zealand’s rich list.

Related – Almost Fully Operational: The Mega Cartel Death Star at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2015/08/01/almost-fully-operational-the-mega-cartel-death-star/

Why I Rented-a-Crowd of Misinformed Protesters is also posted on:

https://criticl.me/post/why-i-rented-crowd-misinformed-protesters-3910

http://www.filmsforaction.org/articles/why-i-rentedacrowd-of-misinformed-protesters/

http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1508/S00124/why-i-rented-a-crowd-of-misinformed-protesters.htm

Shortlink: http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=3220

Nesting in Aqua Sheets: NZ PM’s & Greens Co-leader’s secret ‘love’ trysts

'Smart Greens': Or fallen in Love with a Nice Image?

‘Smart Greens’: Or fallen in Love with a Nice Image?

With the coercive powers of Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth, Sophia Bigg-Storm gets the scoop on the secret love trysts at the top of the New Zealand economy’s political sex chain between Prime Minister John Key and Green Party Co-leader Metiria Turei. Wondering why this unlikely pair of ‘Aqua Lovers’ co-mingled in the first place, Bigg-Storm unexpectedly finds that beneath the slickly-marketed Smart Green economy ‘solutions’ to human-induced environmental collapse, is a technocratic nightmare that many in the worldwide environment movement does not comprehend.

By Sophia Bigg-Storm, 4 December 2014

 

Aqua Love

New Zealand’s collective jaw is about to drop on news that the political terrain between the governing National Party and opposition Green Party is closer than anyone – even key insiders – ever imagined possible. It is not because more people have learned the implications of the Green’s pre-election stance that it is more pro-market than National. New Zealanders, like the iconic flightless bird – the Kiwi – after which they like to be known (through elite social conditioning), do not think much about consequences.

Rather, it has emerged that prime minister John Key and Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei are now lovers. Their love trysts – that enjoins the far-right wing multi-millionaire ex-banker and the centre-left ex-welfare drawing solo mum – means two of the economy’s top politicians have been sharing pillow talk while they have been sparing against each others’ respective colleagues at work.

Incredibly, this lurid sex scandal has been financed by bond-holders who have been betting on how long it will last, derivatives buyers speculating about how it will unfold, and investment bankers offsetting the lovers’ naked political communications with a brand of carbon market credits, known as DeceitNeutral™. Their Political Sex Partnership (PSP) effectively signifies that Neo-liberal Teams Blue and Green have merged to create an Aqua-coloured political centre.

Key and Turei have been rendezvousing for the last two months, sometimes at hotels around the New Zealand economy’s capital city, Wellington, and it’s largest city, Auckland, where most of the speculative capital is gambled. Sometimes the New Zealand economy’s newest and most secretive power couple have even stolen themselves away for sneaky political sex at their respective homes.

It turns out that Metiria Turei got inspired to buy aqua-coloured organic silk sheets after John Key’s far-right wing National Party thumped the political ‘left’ with an electoral win that turned the New Zealand economy’s map, and lefties, almost completely blue. While sales in anti-depressants to left-wing people spiked after the election win, and then tapered off as the movie Fight Club was passed around among hardcore lefties, the plucky Greens co-leader suddenly ‘got lucky’ (See related story, Fight Club: From Lefty Malaise to Politically Just-Right Karma Sutra).

Blue Tory Ink: The New Zealand Economy (AKA NZ Inc.) and ‘lefties’, turned almost completely blue after the blue-coloured right-wing National Party’s trouncing win.

Blue Tory Ink: The New Zealand Economy (AKA NZ Inc.) and ‘lefties’, turned almost completely blue after the blue-coloured right-wing National Party’s trouncing win.

The Proposition

But, it is how Turei got lucky with the economy’s allegedly most powerful man that is equal measures unlikely and uncanny.

Turei propositioned Key one afternoon shortly after the 2014 election amid the portentously cold Southern Hemisphere spring, when all the parliamentary press gallery reporters had answered in the affirmative to the magic ‘all clear’ line, “Has everyone got everything they want?” As soon as the chummily conditioned reporters left, Turei slipped out of the shadows from the back corner of the pressroom.

She accosted Key while he was ‘killing’ some documents in a portable shredder that he had installed behind the lecturn during the height of the Dirty Politics scandal, to provide a covert means to destroy incriminating evidence right under reporters’ noses.

According to Key’s lucid recollection (and a true test of the Lasso of Truth’s power), Turei handed him a wrapped parcel and he said, “What’s this, a hippie tangata whenua peace-offering ritual?” Beaming, Turei apparently said, “It’s material to build an aqua nest with, stupid.” Turei claims she raised her eyebrow, and Key asked, “An aqua what?” as his eyes dropped to her cleavage for a brief moment and then he sniggered as he said, “Aaah, a wahine pick-up ritual.”

“I’ve had some unexpected propositions in my time,” said Key (AKA ‘the Smiling Assassin’), who was mentored in the Dark Art of Wizard Bastardry by English comedian Rik Mayall when he was an investment banker in London in the mid-1990s. “But Metiria’s seduction was the last thing in the world I would have dreamed of as a means to cement a fourth term.”

Soaking up the Suck-luckers: The smarmy Smiling Assassin’s election victory was based on a perversion of democracy.

Soaking up the Suck-luckers: The smarmy Smiling Assassin’s election victory was based on a perversion of democracy.

Key earned the nickname, ‘the Smiling Assassin’ because he smiled during hospital visits to give Mayall blood transfusions to save his life, after he nearly killed the comedian during a high-speed broom chase over London in April 1998. Because the former London and Wall Street banker had received wizard blood from the comedian, who used magic to be funny, the Dark Wizard Banker was needed to provide compatible blood.

From Muggle to Wizard: Ex-Banker’s Suppressed Lasso of Truth Interview.
From Muggle to Wizard: Ex-Banker’s Suppressed Lasso of Truth Interview.
For her part, Turei saw the powerful symbolism to being the love interest of the prime minister, because he oversees a patriarchal capitalist state economy. “Everyone knows that skyscraping towers are phallic symbols, so I figured seducing Key would be the best way to consummate the Green’s pre-election disclosure that our party is more pro-market than Key’s National.”

Metiria reasoned that Key’s third term as prime minister would be beleaguered with official probes, court cases and more whistle-blowing related to the Dirty Politics scandal. “I knew what she had to say to be true,” said Key. “So did those in the National Party and the oligarchs [super-rich people who steer politics] that constitute the New Zealand economy’s ‘Twenty Ruling Families’.”

With the famously territorial tui birds singing their sexually-charged songs as they walked around Wellington’s Botanical Gardens at dusk on Friday September 26, their springtime discussion quickly became a question of how such an improbable union could occur.

Key says he admired Turei’s forthrightness and ability to grip his balls while articulating a sophisticated argument. “You never see that kind of maneuver in parliament, in courtrooms or in TV studios. Public debate has become so wanky and its always promising prosperity for everyone in some vague and undefined future, like a secular form of the Vatican Empire’s mythical Heaven. Her gift is to embody the political present in this outpost of the Fourth British Empire and 1st American Empire, which is indebted to foreign pixies”.

Aqua Love: The Aqua Alliance between the Greens and National Party is a cutting edge Political Sex Partnership (PSP).

Aqua Love: The Aqua Alliance between the Greens and National Party is a cutting edge Political Sex Partnership (PSP).

The Green’s co-leader convinced New Zealand’s prime minister that the only way his party could survive a third term and for himself and key insiders to keep their white privileged wobbly arses out of jail, was for his Tory-modeled, blue-coloured National Party to merge with the neo-liberally captured environmentally half-conscious Green Party. Turei explained that the Green’s could do for the National Party what New Zealand’s anti-nuclear movement did for the United States and the United Kingdom when New Zealand joins them in wars largely of NATO’s scheming: make them look good.

Key asked Turei, “I’m hardly a thoroughbred, so what’s in it for you? Aren’t you risking alienating yourself from the Green-skins?”

 

Smart Green Economy or Totalitarian Nightmare?

Turei explained to Key ‘the market’ was the most efficient way to confront the major issues of sustainability. According to Turei, Key sniggered. Annoyed, the Green’s co-leader “educated” Key that the only way to fix the planet was to make big polluters pay through is through a carbon credits trading system.

Meanwhile, Turei told him, “an international price on carbon is coming, which means every single thing on the planet will be measured and priced for its carbon-equivalent Smart Green Economy value.”

Being a shrewd ex-London and Wall Street banker, Key could see that what Turei was describing would require a worldwide technocratic superstructure. He already knew that. It had long been planned.

The CEO of NZ Inc., as Key likes to think of himself, says he smiled when he realized that Turei’s obliviousness about the construction of technocratic super-states was, in effect, confirmation that the New Zealand economy’s environmental movement did not understand what a technocracy is. “You’d think tree-huggers would read Patrick Wood’s stuff”, Key said referring to the editor of The August Forecast & Review, who traces the roll-out of Smart Grid technologies to the roots of a little-known technocracy movement back in the Great Depression era.

“Wood. Tree-huggers. Get it?” asked the Smiling Assassin, who seemed oblivious to how Jokes get killed. I explained that when a Joke gets explained, it quickly dies an unfunny death, humiliated. Key snorted. It didn’t help. The Joke stayed dead.

In the hope that this recently deceased Joke’s short life was not lost in vain, Professor of International Criminal Law at Auckland University Dr. David Lynchman gives an unfunny definition so that people who still read will learn something crucial to avert the intended technocratic nightmare. “At face value, a technocracy suggests a benign economic system that allocates energy and resources equitably through quotas, rather than through capitalism’s current price system.”

“The amusing thing is that a technocracy is a totalitarian system of government that is administered by scientists, engineers and technicians”, said Key. “It’s amusing because it leaves the same unseen oligarchs that have become super-rich off capitalism still at-large, to have their same scheming private bat dinners at the same bat locations all around Gotham and its satellites.”

Turei at this point had zoned out and was watching a Reconstruction video about Nicki Minaj’s ‘Anaconda’ and One Direction’s ‘You & I’ songs. The production made her giggle – a lot.

Spooky Tracking: How social control will become a chilling science.

Spooky Tracking: How social control will become a chilling science.

Key continued, “By its very design, Smart Green Economies will be controlled by technocrats, engineers and scientists who would be working, whether they realize or not, to ensure that ordinary people and the things they consume are tracked everywhere because everything will be chipped with its own unique number and read by wireless chipped Smart Readers. It will mean the complete loss of anonymity, privacy, and dignity – if we get away with it”.

In this New World Order, laws have been incrementally passed to set the totalitarian trap shut on people who simply break sparkly greenwashed Future City codes for protesting, says Lynchman. It is intended that the freedom to dissent will become highly risky because the world’s police forces are being steadily militarized with the spectre of terrorism, much of it conducted by ‘deep-state’ actors from the North Atlantic Alliance.

Meanwhile, mass publics have been deliberately demoralized, distracted and disenfranchised in order to avert a global counter-movement to the silent ‘free market’ revolution, in accordance with the ‘1980s Project’ (first reported upon by Laurence Shoup and William Minter in their 1977 book, Imperial Brain Trust), explained Key.

“Most Muggles and Hobbits have experiences but miss their meanings”, said the Smiling Assassin smiling. “It’s a foible that elite policy planners rely on to keep mass populaces in holding patterns”.

Not surprisingly, Key says he liked Turei’s idea to create an ‘Aqua Alliance’ because he saw in it a new mechanism for such a ‘holding pattern’. Indeed, the Smiling Assassin liked the Green co-leader’s idea so much he exclaimed, “You ripper!” and the pair got into the spirit of spring on a leafy bed prepared by the Seven Sisters of Papatūānuku.

Turei and Key rooted among the native trees in the Seduction, the Fantastic Rocking Horse, and the Splitting Bamboo sex positions of Karma Sutra fame.

During these sex positions, Turei gave Key a new creation to get him through the repercussions of the Dirty Politics scandal. She calls her creation the ‘Blue Steely Resolve Face Look’, which Key had “down-pat” by the time they had finished consummating their Political Sex Partnership (PSP). (See accompanying story: ‘Blue Steely Resolve Face Look’).

Blue Steely Resolve Face: Appearing sincere, assertive and firm all with one look.

Blue Steely Resolve Face: Appearing sincere, assertive and firm all with one look.

 

New Zealand’s first ‘Aqua Couple’ said they had been “testing the water” before announcing it to their respective parties, and the public, in keeping with the New Zealand economy’s role in the global economy as a live experimental lab to test new technologies, ideas and propaganda before the world gets hit with them.

“It’s been a wonderful couple of months”, said Turei. “Except, for the weird totalitarian nightmares that I keep having when my head is close to John’s. They are like a fusion of Bladerunner, Brave New World, Nineteen Eighty-four, Neuromancer, THX-1138, and Jennifer Government. There’s an unsettling feeling to them, that unseen power brokers suck everyone into their ‘hi-tech dream-world’ – forever.”

“We’re like the lab rabbits”, said Key, “only Metiria and I are not being made to wear toxic make-up”.

“You would think that in capitalist societies where tricking your kids into believing that Santa is benign, it would make Hobbits and Muggles more skeptical about everything once they find out the whole world is in on the lie”, chuckled Key. “I mean,  every grown-up now knows that Santa has out-sourced his vast manufacturing operations to the sweat-shops of perpetually developing Brown Economies, powered as they are by coal and oil. It’s a rich white man’s world”, and we lure Hobbits and Muggles with colours right from their very first Christmas when they all ignore the toys and play with the packaging”, sniggered the Smiling Assassin.

==========

Amazonian-American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominate the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues.  Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer,  a newspaper that movie critics think is just make-believe because it was depicted in the film Citizen Kane. She was recently gifted Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth on a recent holiday to her ancestral home of Paradise Island, which is driving other reporters mad with envy. SEE: Snoopman News http://snoopman.net.nz

See story: Blue Steely Resolve Face: How John Key was Mentored to Appear Sincere, Assertive and Firm with One Look, and What It’s Hiding.

NZ PM Writes to ‘Missing Million’ Voters, “Thanks for not voting, loser”.

‘Nice Guy’ Key: NZ’s Prime minister drafts of the smugly-toned ‘Missing Million’ voters letter in Cabinet Diary.

‘Nice Guy’ Key: NZ’s Prime minister drafts of the smugly-toned ‘Missing Million’ voters letter in Cabinet Diary.

By Sophia Bigg-Storm, 6 October 2014

 

Mr ‘Nice Guy’ Congratulates Losers

New Zealand’s prime minister John Key shocked the economy’s police, armed forces and intelligence services on the election night of September 20 following his party’s third-term win. The shock was not because Key and the National Party made it through a Dirty Politics scandal that erupted five weeks earlier, largely unscathed.[1]

Rather, it has emerged that the rich-lister prime minister mumbled in his smug excitement among a crowd of party faithful, “We need to find the Missing Million-”.[2] A nerdy aide took the remark as a directive. What ensued will go down in New Zealand folklore as one of biggest near misses in the Annals of Political Miscalculations History and will ultimately bring down Key’s government.

Soaking up the Suck-luckers: The smarmy Smiling Assassin’s victory a perversion of democracy.

Soaking up the Suck-luckers: The smarmy Smiling Assassin’s victory a perversion of democracy.

John Key’s mumbled Mission Million comment actually referred to a letter he drafted the previous night to the ‘Missing Million’ people who the prime minister expected would not cast a vote, to sarcastically thank them for helping him re-win power. (The actual number was slightly less than a million).[3] But when Key said to his geeky aide, “We need to find the Missing Million-” he did not finish his sentence because of the excited commotion. Key meant to say, “We need to find the Missing Million letter.”

Key, who was with one of his senior advisors and top P.R. man Jason Ede the night before when he wrote the letter, neglected to confide with his aide that he had written it. Evidently, this was because he had been half-cut (or half-drunk), and the prime minister allegedly has a poor memory problem. The well-meaning aide promptly alerted the police commissioner, the head of defence and assorted spooks. Bless.

Rocky Drive: John Key’s senior advisor and top P.R. man Jason Ede likes to play hard and unfair and hates to be the subject of publicity.

Rocky Drive: John Key’s senior advisor and top P.R. man Jason Ede likes to play hard and unfair and hates to be the subject of publicity.

Despite the police, armed forces and intelligence services initially mobilizing to launch the largest search and rescue operation in the New Zealand economy’s history to find the ‘Missing Million’ people, John Key quietly located the letter that he intended to be mailed to each of the expected one million non-voters.

But, Key’s foray into congratulatory spam-letters for voting truants was officially censored by the Governor-General Sir Gerry Mataparae, who found out about the impending search and rescue operation when an unnamed advisor messaged him via his Facebook tip-line. This person emphasized that Key’s Mission Million letter would trigger a ‘constitutional crisis’.[4]

The Governor-General has the power to dissolve parliament if it loses the confidence of the House, or the population, to govern. Such a situation is known as a ‘constitutional crisis’, or time for the Queen of New Zealand to draw the ‘Veto Power’ card from her bra.

The suppressed letter, which was written in a slyly smug tone, spells out to the nearly one million eligible voters who did not cast a vote at the September 20 election, that key insiders of the National Party had pursued a two-track communications strategy. The two-track communications approach cast John Key as ‘Mr Nice Guy’, while dirty political attacks were outsourced to popular right-wing blog-sites, such as Whale Oil and Kiwiblog.[5]

Evidently, Key’s election night smugness set in, despite claiming on TV3’s Campbell Live following his party’s win, that he and National were keen not to be seen as arrogant, a common criticism of his government over the previous six years. “I was cast as ‘Mr Nice Guy’ so that the sucker-lucker public wouldn’t think for a moment that the minor scandals, embarrassing smears, and gaffs that were blown out of proportion by a compliant propagandist news media system had anything to do with me”, Key divulged to his intended audience of one million “losers”.[6]

Winning by Any Means Necessary: The ‘Smiling Assassin’ hand writes the official draft into the Cabinet Diary.

Winning by Any Means Necessary: The ‘Smiling Assassin’ hand writes the official draft into the Cabinet Diary.

The censored letter was obtained under the Official Information Act, and processed with unexpected speed, the kind thought only possible if you were right-wing attack blogger, Cameron Slater, who had been able to scoop mainstream news outlets due to his connections with corrupt key insiders of the NZ government. Incredibly, Key had drafted the letter at the suggestion of one of his senior advisors and top P.R. man Jason Ede, on the Friday before the election.

Chalk and Cheese: Right-wing blogger Cameron Slater and rich-lister John Key in happier nights.

Chalk and Cheese: Right-wing blogger Cameron Slater and rich-lister John Key in happier nights.

However, when Gerry Mateparae was informed about the congratulatory letter on Sunday September 21, the Governor-General immediately intervened. In the feud that followed, John Key said ‘Fuck’, and variants thereof a lot, according to a source familiar with the argument. Key blamed Jason Ede for the forthright letter and he was scape-goated to ‘resolve’ the crisis, the source said. This was the real reason that Ede resigned.

When I found Key flanked by his minders, he claimed it was the Office of the Prime Minster that signed the letter, not himself personally. Furthermore, Key, who earned the nickname the Smiling Assassin during his former life as a Dark Wizard banker said Jason Ede drafted the brazen letter.[7] “Look at the end of the day, New Zealanders are interested in what’s best for the economy, not what happens behind closed doors in government”, Key said with a Squinchy Nose Face, a character ‘tell’ when he is downplaying a matter to hide another lie.

Squinchy Key Nose: When NZ’s PM John Key is lying, one of his ‘tells’ is his Squinchy Nose Face.

Squinchy Key Nose: When NZ’s PM John Key is lying, one of his ‘tells’ is his Squinchy Nose Face.

Professor Norman Dodd of Auckland University’s School of Government Psychological Operations stated the phrase “at the end of day” has been spread as a meme throughout the New Zealand economy to bypass the Fightless Kiwi population’s already compromised critical thinking processes. “New Zealanders who identify as Kiwis use the phrase “at the end of day” before they deliver their viewpoint as a way to assert authority over their audience. Most Kiwis say it in the way they use other clichéd phrases, where critical thinking is absent. But skilled manipulators such as John Key use it to trick people to agree with them.”

Jason Ede could not be found for comment, but left a note on the front-door of his house.[10] In the note, Ede threatened New Zealand’s news media claiming he had their metadata and that he would develop an App that combined Google Maps with lie detector technology. Ede said he would use the invention to show that they were “not as neutral in National’s third term win” as they were all pretending.

World’s Slyest PR Man: Jason Ede threatens NZ’s news media with a yet-to-be invented metadata hungry App.

World’s Slyest PR Man: Jason Ede threatens NZ’s news media with a yet-to-be invented metadata hungry App.

National Party president Peter Goodfellow, whose family is estimated to be worth $500 million, said he was relieved that no “vulnerable persons” in his party were exposed during the election campaign, especially when phrases such as “name suppression” and “prominent New Zealander” became news in mid-July.[11]

Safe Pair of Hands: National Party president Peter Goodfellow helped keep up the illusion that dynastic families such as his don’t covertly influence New Zealand law.

Safe Pair of Hands: National Party president Peter Goodfellow helped keep up the illusion that dynastic families such as his don’t covertly influence New Zealand law.

“I was so relieved that my safe pair of hands helped get us through the election unscathed”, said Goodfellow, “especially since my good friend John Key had scornfully jeered at Labour’s leader, David Cunliffe, for saying ‘sorry for being a man’ at the Women’s Refuge Symposium.[12] Cunliffe is such a sissy.”[13]

I nodded slowly. It was like Goodfellow was used to women rooting for him.[14] “Like Key said”, Goodfellow continued, “there’s ‘actually a small group of men’ that are ‘violent’ and ‘abusive’ and ‘they need to be held to account’, but you know jailing that ‘small group of men’ is tricky when they are rich, powerful and vulnerable”.[15]

“Silly” Cunliffe: John Key said he’d love see to his Labour Party counterpart say, “sorry for being a man” at rugby clubs.

“Silly” Cunliffe: John Key said he’d love see to his Labour Party counterpart say, “sorry for being a man” at rugby clubs.

 

At the End of the First 100 days

Key’s ‘Missing Million’ letter goes to heart of how the rich and powerful can prey upon people’s vulnerabilities, win their trust and then victimize them with multiple forms of structural violence.[16]

“My top PR-man and senior advisor, Jason Ede, led these dirty political attacks”, wrote Key, “while he was on the National Party payroll, which meant he could perform his covert activities outside pesky official information request processes. In other words, unless you had a fly on the wall inside his office, two doors down from mine, you couldn’t tell – as a naive New Zealander – what he was doing.”

Portrait of an Attack Dog: Right-wing blogger David Farrar was National’s polling czar, while simultaneously he wrote dirty political attacks on Kiwiblog.

Portrait of an Attack Dog: Right-wing blogger David Farrar was National’s polling czar, while simultaneously he wrote dirty political attacks on Kiwiblog.

New Zealand’s prime minister went onto explain in the letter, that he now admitted was “unwise”, “The media focused mostly on right-wing attack dog blogger Cameron Slater, whose communications were hacked.[17] Slater did a great job attacking left-wing opponents. But, it was right-wing blogger David Farrar of Kiwiblog fame (Est. 2003) who, essentially, lived a double-life as National’s chief pollster since 2004. Farrar was well-placed to write ‘attack dog’ articles on his popular right-wing blog-site, Kiwiblog, utilizing insider information about issues that National and our opponents were either strong or weak on, according to population demographics across the country, tracked over time.”

A Picture Tells Tales of 10,000 Blogs: John Key flanked by his right-wing attack dog bloggers, David Farrar (left) and Cameron Slater (right).

A Picture Tells Tales of 10,000 Blogs: John Key flanked by his right-wing attack dog bloggers, David Farrar (left) and Cameron Slater (right).

Key was still in a candid mood two days after the election. The ex-London and Wall Street banker, who was first head-hunted to lead the National Party in 1998 by then-National Party president John Slater (father of Whale Oil blogger Cameron Slater), admitted in a pre-recorded interview on Campbell Live that dirty attack politics benefits right wing parties such as National’s, while it hurts left-wing ones more.[18]

In other words, Key accepted the thrust of Hager’s book that the dirty political attacks had been occurring, that such attacks benefited his party, and yet he had stuck to his slanderous, logically flawed counter-attack argument that the author of Dirty Politics was a ‘left wing conspiracy theoristall the way through the election campaign.[19]

Brazen Victory: John Key admitted two days after his election win that dirty political attacks helped his party gain and stay-in power.[20]

Brazen Victory: John Key admitted two days after his election win that dirty political attacks helped his party gain and stay-in power.[20]

“At the end of the first 100 days – a media ritual where reporters can be counted on to be big softies on politicians, but you knew that Sophia – Kiwis want to know that they’ll have jobs to pay Santa’s huge bill after Xmas, because they’ve been trained-up through advertising to overspend. That’s why I timed the election to be held on September 20,” Key said, knowing that his psychopathic powers do not work on me.

Nor was Key trying to convince Snoopman News’ miniscule audience. Key was taunting us with candid answers that he calculated, incorrectly, hardly anyone would read this story. What he did not know was that we had obtained a copy of the Missing Million letter from a staff member within the Department of the Prime Minister who saw our official information request and leaked the letter before it got classified Top Secret.

After we interviewed everyone for this story, we took the precaution of counter-leaking the letter via a Twitter account called SpeedySnailMailDump, and because it keeps getting taken down, SpeedySnailMailDump2, SpeedySnailMailDump3 and counting. It has since gone viral on Facebook and can be found here and is mirrored here and archived here on Scoop News.[21]  We also consulted a Tarot card reader Tamzin Lucky-Luste, who confirmed this unfolding event is portentous, and wagered her landlord’s house that the Key Ministry would collapse within six months.

Still stranger things could happen. Christ could make his comeback as a Hollywood movie star upsetting the Vatican’s plans to fake the discovery of a messiah child for Christmas 2017, and Brad Pitt’s ambition to play the legendary figure better than Mel Gibson with a story to make the papal monarch kneel for mercy.[22]

Evidently, the Attorney-General for New Zealand and former Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Chris Finlayson, who it is said never blinks, was also in the same goading mood as John Key. Finlayson said, “It’s lucky for us that New Zealand’s ruling class has exploited the economy’s geographical isolation over many decades, to condition Kiwis to be passive, fightless and dim-witted. The New Zealand push-over population is an enduring legacy of our dynastic families’ cultural toanga (or gift) to the economy”, he remarked sternly. I can confirm New Zealand’s Attorney-General does not blink.

Toothless Inquiry: Chris Finlayson’s pre-election Dirty Politics inquiry had no bite without his boss John Key giving testimony.

Toothless Inquiry: Chris Finlayson’s pre-election Dirty Politics inquiry had no bite without his boss John Key giving testimony.

Auckland University associate law professor Dr. Jane Kelsey wryly stated, “The fact that Attorney-General Finlayson hasn’t been roasted alive for failing to call the prime minister to answer tough questions under oath before the election can only be attributed to FKS, or Fightless Kiwi Syndrome, as we call it in scholarly research.”

Kelsey looked up at the four-storey law library building, where she was due to give a tour five minutes prior, “I mean, if Finlayson’s inaction doesn’t qualify as furtherance of conspiracy, we may as well burn the case law books or breed some very hungry silverfish, to keep our carbon footprint down”. With a single bound, the law professor jumped from the pavement up to a ledge on the fourth floor, broke open an aluminum window, said “Sorry I’m late” to the stunned students, and began her tour for next year’s excited intake.

 

Tracking the Missing Million

The search and rescue mobilization began in the wee hours of the morning following the general election. The Governor-General had called it off in time for elevensies.

According to sources within the state apparatus, the New Zealand Police planned to infiltrate left-wing groups in an effort to find the ‘Missing Million’ voters and raid known activist safe houses at dawn on Monday September 22. The Ministry of Defence intended to use the armed forces to scour the country by land, sea and air. The GCSB (or the Government Communication Security Bureau, for long), which is the only government agency that listens to the people, was frustrated that none of other state forces would hear-out their idea.[23]

John Key’s old school mate and current GCSB Director Ian Fletcher said, “Our idea was to hack into the Electoral Commission’s computer system.[24] We presented the business case to the heads of the police and armed forces via a conference call that took place at the witching hour of 13 o’clock, er, one a.m. They all pretended there was something wrong their lines and us GCSB spooks could hear them making fake crackling sounds.”

“They need to be counting their bloody lucky stars that we didn’t blow the lid on Key’s private joke at the expense of the public over the passage of the GCSB spy bill last year”, added Fletcher unable to contain himself as the anger of being made fun of returned. I raised an eyebrow. Evidently, Fletcher felt it was safe to talk frankly with a journalist from a media outlet run out of shoe-box with a shoe-string economy.

Gaming the Public: New Zealand’s top spook Ian Fletcher was in on the trick to bait Kiwis with a reduced snapper quota, while switching protections against mass surveillance with the passage of the GCSB bill, which made Project Speargun legal.

Gaming the Public: NZ’s top spook Ian Fletcher was in on the trick to bait Kiwis with a reduced snapper quota, while switching protections against mass surveillance with the passage of the GCSB bill, which made Project Speargun legal.

“You’ll recall at the time, Team Key distracted ‘No Nothing New Zealanders’ by threatening to reduce the snapper quota for recreational fishers? And remember that Dotcom henchman, the journalist Glenn Greenwald who revealed Edward Snowden’s NSA slides five days out from the election that showed we needed to get the GCSB spy bill passed, otherwise it would be legal for us to proceed to phase two of Project Speargun?”[25]

I nodded slowly, knowing where this was going because we at Snoopman News had worked this out the day after Greenwald and Snowden appeared at the Moment of Truth meeting held at Auckland’s Town Hall on September 15. I leaned closer, giving him an eye-full of cleavage to keep the spook talking.[26]

Moment of Truth: Edward Snowden says New Zealanders are subject to mass surveillance.

Moment of Truth: Edward Snowden says New Zealanders are subject to mass surveillance.

“We called the operation Project Speargun because attaching spy equipment to the underwater telecommunication cable that connects New Zealand’s rock-star economy to the world economy would have been useless without the legislative greenlight.[27] So, the snapper quota issue was used as a distraction to help implement a secret project that the GCSB bill would make legal, Project SPEARGUN!”, boomed Fletcher breaking into a broad grin.

“Get the insider’s joke? Snapper. Speargun”. I raise my other eyebrow. Obviously, New Zealand government insiders think the population is so dumb, they will not get their complex plots once they are clearly explained.

It was a classic bait and switch maneuver”, said Fletcher. My jaw dropped in pretend surprise. “Bait ‘em with threatening to reduce their snapper take and switch the civil liberties mandate with the entrenchment of a mass surveillance net.”

Bait and Switch Move: The Snapper quota issue was a distraction to get the GCSB spy bill to legalize Project SPEARGUN, a secret underwater cable-tapping operation.

Bait and Switch Move: The Snapper quota issue was a distraction to get the GCSB spy bill to legalize Project SPEARGUN, a secret underwater cable-tapping operation.

When Project Speargun became news Key downplayed the spy agency’s mass surveillance role, and instead emphasized its ‘cyber protection’ function. He cleverly offered up ‘just-in-time’ declassified documents about a programme called CORTEX.[28] “It was a red-herring argument”, chuckled the country’s top spook. “The prime minister’s statements are public relations narratives constructed by Jason Ede, who is one of the best propagandists this far-flung economy has produced”.

The GCSB boss said that Lorde’s homeland had lost the services of a great dark satirist, and believes that had Operation Missing Million By-Catch gone ahead, Ede could have spun a spectacularly savvy yarn for Fightless Kiwis to swallow hook, line and sinker.

It turns out that even the Westpac Rescue helicopter crews got in on the action first and spent much of night scouring New Zealand’s coastlines, including Auckland’s notorious west coast beaches, to look for one million missing people. They had got wind of the planned search and rescue operation, but failed to coordinate their efforts with the police, defence and intelligence apparatus.

When asked why Westpac Rescue were so independent-minded, chopper pilot ‘Skipper’ Richmond said that, “because the helicopter is sponsored by Westpac Banking Corporation, which is owned by Merrill Lynch, JPMorganChase, Citibank, Goldman Sachs, Hong Kong Shanghai Savings Bank, Deutsche Bank, and National Australia Bank, among others, we naturally made our move like our predatory owners.[29] They love to make enormous profits by acting stealthily in collusion with the authorities“, the chopper pilot said proudly. “In a nutshell, we thought were doing our bit to advance the neo-liberal ‘free-market’ project on behalf of dynastic families, both foreign and domestic”.[30]

I raised an eyebrow. “You know,” Richmond continued, “close the net incrementally, round-up free market capitalism’s missing stock, and keep a closer watch on their metadata in case they try escape across the moat undetected”, the helicopter pilot said cheerfully the way people who have developed Don’t-Give-a-Shit Syndrome (D-GASS) because they are financially comfortable and have dieted on TV dinners that are ideologically-infused with neo-liberalism.[31]

At the end of August, John Key claimed he knew the names of every New Zealander who had left for Australia in the prior two months.[32] Richmond said it was important that a million people did not “just up and leave” because they were needed to pay the extra billions the Key government had borrowed from “unnamed foreign pixies”.[33]

Searching for the ‘Missing Million’: Westpac Rescue scoured New Zealand’s coastlines to see if they could find a million people trying to leave New Zealand before it turned completely blue.

Searching for the ‘Missing Million’: Westpac Rescue scoured New Zealand’s coastlines to see if they could find a million people trying to leave New Zealand before it turned completely blue.

In the pre-dawn light, Westpac Rescue found a couple skinny-dipping at a posh Herne Bay beach on the way back to base. When asked if they voted, the pair (whose families are behind the Colmar-Brunton polling company) said, “Team Key, fuck yeah”, they yelled in unison. “We’ve been rooting for Key all through the sporty bombardment of the polling heats”, said Brendan Brunton.

Collette Colmar chimed in cheerily, “We thought what better way to celebrate an election campaign win than skinny dip at dawn. Because, at the beginning of the day, it’s the best way to get the mix right between politics and sport, by having sex with someone of the same race, wealth and privileged class among a school of free-range GPS-tracked snapper.”

====================

SEE: NZ PM John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter
http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2359

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Amazonian-American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominate the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues.  Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer,  a newspaper that movie critics think is just make-believe because it was depicted in the film Citizen Kane. She was recently gifted Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth on a recent holiday to her ancestral home of Paradise Island, which is driving other reporters mad with envy. SEE: Snoopman News http://snoopman.net.nz

====================

Sources:

[1] Nicky Hager. “New Zealand elections: dirty tricks helped John Key win another term” at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/new-zealand-elections-dirty-tricks-helped-john-key-win-another-term

[2] Rob Hosking “RICH LIST 2014: John Key’s wealth jumps $5 million” at:  http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/rich-list-john-keys-wealth-jumps-5-million-rh-p-160150

[3] Chris Keall “Election 2014: Left routed” at: http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/election-2014-left-routed-ck-162732

[4] “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1410/S00029/john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter.htm

[5] Nicky Hager. “New Zealand elections: dirty tricks helped John Key win another term” at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/new-zealand-elections-dirty-tricks-helped-john-key-win-another-term

[6] Bryan Gould. “The real John Key?” at: http://thestandard.org.nz/the-real-john-key/; Nicky Hager. “New Zealand elections: dirty tricks helped John Key win another term” at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/new-zealand-elections-dirty-tricks-helped-john-key-win-another-term;  “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/10/05/nz-pm-john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter/

[7] Simon Twoleftfeet. “Conjuring the Smiling Assassin” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/06/21/conjuring-the-smiling-assassin/

[8] John Campbell. “John Key End of the Day interviews at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B811XSGf–A&feature=youtu.be

[9] As above.

[10] Isaac Davidson. “Key: Ede happy to move on” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11329561; “NZ POLITICS DAILY: Deception and integrity in politics and public life” at: http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/NZ-POLITICS-DAILY-13-dec; “Senior Key staffer’s rubbish pic duty” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/9510189/Senior-Key-staffers-rubbish-pic-duty; “PM’s office distances itself from party photographer” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/politics/news/article.cfm?c_id=280&objectid=11171491

[11]  The National Business Review Rich List 2013 at: http://shareinvestornz.blogspot.co.nz/2013/07/2013-nbr-rich-list.html; Donna Chrisholm. (December 2010). “The Not So Jolly Goodfellows.” Metro. Issue 349, p60; Herald on Sunday editorial: “Powerful, rich – and vulnerable” at http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=11216534; Bevan Hurley “Politician gets to keep details of divorce secret” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11216464; Jonathan Marshall. “Tangled National love triangle” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/sunday-news/latest-edition/2778538/Tangled-National-love-triangle; Rodney Hide: “Forget Rolf, Maggie. We have our own sexual predator to name and shame” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11292524; Rodney Hide: “Rape culture protects predators” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11296242; “Name suppression controversy for prominent New Zealander” at: http://www.3news.co.nz/tvshows/paulhenryshow/name-suppression-controversy-for-prominent-new-zealander-2014072822; “And now An All Black joins the ‘sexual assault’ list of NZ” http://www.nzjudgethejudges.com/blog/and-now-an-all-black-joins-the-sexual-assault-list-of-nz; “I’m right behind blogger’s challenge to suppression” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/sunday-star-times/columnists/3235251/I-m-right-behind-bloggers-challenge-to-suppression

[12]  Audrey Young. “Nats pass reins to ‘safe pair of hands’” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10588304; “David Cunliffe: I’m sorry for being a man” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11287736; “Cunliffe apologises ‘for being a man’” at: http://www.3news.co.nz/politics/cunliffe-apologises-for-being-a-man-2014070414.

[13]  GUEST BLOG: Miriam Pierard – Dreams become reality when we take action – A response to the NZ Women’s Refuge Symposium and the attacks on David Cunliffe – See more at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2014/07/05/guest-blog-miriam-pierard-dreams-become-reality-when-we-take-action-a-response-to-the-nz-womens-refuge-symposium-and-the-attacks-on-david-cunliffe/#sthash.E2KjlejH.dpuf; http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11292050; http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11292050; “Bryce Edwards: Does New Zealand have a ‘rape culture’?” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11292050;  Chloe King. “I got an apology”… said no survivor of rape or gendered violence ever – See more at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2014/07/11/i-got-an-apology-said-no-survivor-of-rape-or-gendered-violence-ever/#sthash.lTovTgu8.bHqQDvnW.dpuf

[14] Cameron Slater. HoS editorial on Name Suppression for the “Politician” at: http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/2014/03/hos-editorial-name-suppression-politician/

[15] “Cunliffe’s apology for being a man ‘insulting’ – Key” at http://tvnz.co.nz/politics-news/cunliffe-s-apology-being-man-insulting-key-6020931; Herald on Sunday editorial: “Powerful, rich – and vulnerable” at http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/news/article.cfm?c_id=466&objectid=11216534; Bevan Hurley “Politician gets to keep details of divorce secret” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11216464

[16] “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1410/S00029/john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter.htm; Nicky Hager. “New Zealand elections: dirty tricks helped John Key win another term” at: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/24/new-zealand-elections-dirty-tricks-helped-john-key-win-another-term; The Shock Doctrine – Naomi Klein on Vimeo vimeo.com/26718047; Bryan Bruce. “Mind The Gap” at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__2EdGFdgTA

[17] “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1410/S00029/john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter.htm; SEE ALSO: Nicky Hager. (2014). Dirty Politics: How Attack Politics is Poisoning New Zealand’s Political Environment. Nelson, NZ: Craig Potten Publishing.

[18] Rapson, Bevan (26 April 2005). “Golden Boy”. Metro Magazine. Archived from the original on 28 February 2008; Bingham, Eugene (26 July 2008). “Ambush in the West”. The New Zealand Herald; http://www.3news.co.nz/tvshows/campbelllive/keys-outlook-goals-for-the-next-three-years-2014092220

[19] “Video: Key faces more Dirty Politics questions” at: http://www.3news.co.nz/politics/video-key-faces-more-dirty-politics-questions-2014082109; Toby Manhire. “The whale that swallowed New Zealand’s election campaign” at: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/23/-sp-new-zealand-election-john-key-alleged-dirty-politics

[20] “John Key’s outlook, goals for the next three years”  Read more: http://www.3news.co.nz/tvshows/campbelllive/keys-outlook-goals-for-the-next-three-years-2014092220#ixzz3Fh3wIpal

[21] “John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/10/05/nz-pm-john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter/; https://snoopman.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/nz-pm-john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter/; http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL1410/S00029/john-keys-suppressed-missing-million-voters-letter.htm

[22] Robert Parry “Pope Francis, CIA and ‘Death Squads’” at: http://www.globalresearch.ca/pope-francis-cia-and-death-squads/5327274; Prof Michel Chossudovsky “Washington’s Pope”? Who is Pope Francis I?” at: http://www.globalresearch.ca/washingtons-pope-who-is-francis-i-cardinal-jorge-mario-bergoglio-and-argentinas-dirty-war/5326675

[23]  Karol. “The long reach of “5 Eyes: re-post.” at: http://thestandard.org.nz/the-long-reach-of-5-eyes-re-post/

[24] Adam Bennett. “PM plays down friendship with GCSB boss.” at: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10874015

[25] “VIDEO: Glenn Greenwald and mass surveillance” at: http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/auckland/election/ondemand/mhb-video-leaders-breakfast-john-key-glenn-greenwald-15sep2014; “The Moment of Truth.” Auckland Town Hall. September 15 2014. [Event starts at 21mins] at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbps1EwAW-0

[26] As above.

[27]  Dr David Robie. “Key accused of allowing secret ‘spook’ cable sensors to spy on citizens” – See more at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2014/09/16/pm-key-accused-of-allowing-secret-spook-cable-sensors-to-spy-on-citizens/#sthash.6o4P3SBY.dpuf

[28] “Project SPEARGUN underway” at: http://publicaddress.net/onpoint/project-speargun-underway/

[29] Wake Up New Zealand.  “Who Owns New Zealand’s Banks?” at: http://www.wakeupkiwi.com/who-owns-new-zealand-banks.shtml; ALSO SEE Chapter 2 in: Steve Edwards. “It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid” http://aut.researchgateway.ac.nz/handle/10292/5536

[30] Sophia Bigg-Storm. “Harry Potter Breaks Hollywood Gag-clause, Stuns World Leaders into Unscheduled Epic Three Minutes of Silence” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/07/19/harry-potter-breaks-hollywood-gag-clause/; The Shock Doctrine at: vimeo.com/26718047; Snoopman. (2014, March 10). “Code Purple: Whistle Blowing on ‘Free markets’, the ‘Shock Doctrine’ and ‘New Constitutionalism’”. Snoopman News. Retrieved from http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/03/10/code-purple/

[31] Snoopman. (2014, May 17). “When Black Things Propel Us: Deep State Power Crimes”. Snoopman News. Retrieved from http://snoopman.net.nz/…/17/when-black-things-propel-us/; Snoopman. (2014, March 10). “Code Purple: Whistle Blowing on ‘Free markets’, the ‘Shock Doctrine’ and ‘New Constitutionalism’”. Snoopman News. Retrieved from http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/03/10/code-purple/; Michael Field. “Sophisticated surveillance coming to Auckland” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/10567293/Sophisticated-surveillance-coming-to-Auckland; Bryan Bruce. Mind the Gap at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__2EdGFdgTA; Snoopman. (August 31, 2013). “A Poorly Understood ‘Bargain’: How Democracy and the 60s Movements became Orphans in the ‘Free Market’ Era” at:  http://snoopman.net.nz/2013/08/31/a-poorly-understood-bargain-or-how-democracy-and-the-60s-movements-became-orphans-in-the-free-market-era/

[32] “As it happened: Leaders Debate – John Key vs David Cunliffe” at: http://tvnz.co.nz/vote-2014-news/happened-leaders-debate-john-key-vs-david-cunliffe-6066730

[33] Vernon Small. “John Key reveals plan for asset sales” at: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/4582922/John-Key-reveals-plan-for-asset-sales; Simon Twoleftfeet . “Conjuring the Smiling Assassin.” at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/06/21/conjuring-the-smiling-assassin/

[34] Frank Macskasy. “Polls, propaganda, and Tracy Watkins.” at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2014/09/07/polls-propaganda-and-tracy-watkins/

 

==================

Story mirrored at: NZ PM Writes to ‘Missing Million’ Voters, “Thanks for not voting, loser”. http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/10/05/nz-pm-writes-to-missing-million-voters-thanks-for-not-voting-loser/

NZ PM John Key’s Suppressed ‘Missing Million’ Voters Letter

Winning by Any Means Necessary: The ‘Smiling Assassin’ writes a draft in the Cabinet Diary.

Winning by Any Means Necessary: The ‘Smiling Assassin’ writes a draft in the Cabinet Diary.

 

Checking in: Neo-liberal Team Blue wants the Herald's readers to think New Zealand won't work without them.

21 September 2014

[INSERT NON-VOTING LOSER’S ADDRESS HERE]

 

Dear [INSERT NON-VOTING LOSER’S NAME HERE],

Congratulations for being one of the ‘Missing Million’ Voters who chose not to vote in the New Zealand economy’s 2014 general election. Your absenteeism was not only crucial for the National Party’s hat-trick win. It was also the result of a deliberate, and let’s be honest, ruthless strategy to turn lefties, and especially young people, off voting.

Since I became leader eight years ago, we at National (AKA Brand Key) have pursued a ‘two-track’ communications strategy to quite literally undermine ‘democracy’. The key to our hidden agenda was to outsource dirty political attacks of the kind that journalist Nicky Hager exposed in his book Dirty Politics, to right-wing blog-sites, such as Whale Oil and Kiwiblog.

These nasty assaults were mostly aimed at National’s opponents to discredit them, attack centrist National Party politicians to shift the party further to the right, and influence the outcomes of elections.

My top PR-man and senior advisor, Jason Ede, led these dirty political attacks while he was on the National Party payroll, which meant he could perform his covert activities outside pesky official information request processes. In other words, unless you had a fly on the wall inside his office, two doors down from mine, you couldn’t tell – as a naive New Zealander – what he was doing.

The media focused mostly on right-wing ‘attack dog’ blogger Cameron Slater, whose communications were hacked. Slater did a great job attacking left-wing opponents. But, it was right-wing blogger David Farrar of Kiwiblog fame (Est. 2003) who, essentially, lived a double-life as National’s chief pollster since 2004. Farrar was well-placed to write ‘attack dog’ articles on his popular right-wing blog-site, Kiwiblog, utilizing insider information about issues that National and our opponents were either strong or weak on, according to population demographics across the country, tracked over time.

Meanwhile, I was cast as ‘Mr Nice Guy’ so that the slucker-lucker public wouldn’t think for a moment that the minor scandals, embarrassing smears, and gaffs that were blown out of proportion by a compliant propagandist news media system, had anything to do with me. Indeed, it’s a damning reflection on New Zealand’s mainstream media because they all failed to lead their news bulletins, front-pages and magazine covers with these key findings of Nicky Hager’s meddling investigation.

The intent behind dirty political attacks is that they project the idea politics is a mucky business, and cannot possibly be done ‘above-board’. To make it super-clear, we at Team Key have perpetrated these crimes of power knowing that it benefits right wing parties such as ours because conservative right-wing voters with investments; whether businesses, financial portfolios, or houses they never intend to pay for, will still turn out to vote in a dirty political attack environment.

I make these brazen disclosures because I regard you as not only stupid. But, also because you are a bona fide Fightless Kiwi that is too disempowered to organize, strategize and mobilize (much like your apathetic suck-lucker voting cousins).

So, thanks for not voting, loser. Don’t feel bad. There are 999,999 other losers just like you.

Yours smugly,

John Phillip Key.

AKA Prime Minister of New Zealand,

or The Prime Minister’s Office,

or The Department of the Prime Minister,

AKA My Henchmen.

P.S. Thanks a Million. Like transformers, there’s more to this scandal than meets the eye.

====================

SEE FULL SATIRICAL STORY: NZ PM Writes to ‘Missing Million’ Voters, “Thanks for not voting, loser”.  at: http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2371

Thanks a Million: Like transformers, there’s more to this scandal than meets the eye.

Thanks a Million: Like transformers, there’s more to this scandal than meets the eye.

“Bibi, stop bombing, already … or we’ll cut your bullets,” Obama tells Israel’s prime minister Benjamin (Bibi) Netanyahu (Leaked White House Transcript)

Gaza, an open-air prison? Israel’s $3 billion-a-year welfare check threatened? America scolds Israel? STOP THE PRESS!!! A leaked White House transcript of a heated phone-call earlier today reveals that US President Barack Obama told Israel’s Zionist Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that his apartheid regime’s bombardment of Gaza city is stretching America’s Hollywood-Bubble Gum TV News propaganda system out to its theoretical limits. Because Israel’s brutal siege on Gaza associates the US with a war crime that is becoming obvious to “Dumb-dee-doo citizens”, Obama told Netanyahu to “desist already” with Israel’s massacre of Palestinians trapped inside the walled-in city. Snoopman News publishes this leak exclusively here in humankinds’ interests.

Heated Exchange: Barack Obama tells Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu he won’t get anymore bucks if Israel keeps bombing Palestinians in Gaza.

Heated Exchange: Barack Obama tells Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu he won’t get anymore bucks if Israel keeps bombing Palestinians in Gaza.

  Scoop by Iggy Swind

The Leaked White House Phone-call Transcript (30 July 2014, EST ):

“Enough already, Ben! We would have you charged with international war crimes, but the United States has done what you’re doing in 50 places since WWII.[1] I’m telling you to stop because we’re losing the propaganda war.[2] Dumbe-dee-doo citizens everywhere are beginning to see our collective hypocrisy, our belligerence and our World Domination end-game.”[3] You’re making the Anglo-American-Zionist Nexus an at-risk social-group because our disproportionate blame-share quota has now gotten harder to keep suppressed.”

But, Barry, with all due respect alread-”

“Bibi, enough already! Yes, we need Israel to keep the Arab states in check while the Big Four oil cartels extract our black gold from under their sands. Yes, we need the Israeli nuclear terror threat while our low-grade proxy wars cause the capitulation of the recalcitrant Muslim states to the Anglo-American banking cartels. Yes, we need your Zionist regime to help us keep the world trading oil in US dollars, so that the planet’s Dumb-dee-doo citizens finance our militarization of Earth with their consumption and taxes.”[4]

Keeping the Score (Above Top Secret): The African-American president reminds the racist Israeli leader how the Anglo-American-Zionist Nexus is an at-risk social-group because their disproportionate blame-share quota is getter harder to keep suppressed.

Keeping the Score (Top Secretly): The African-American president tells the racist Israeli leader how the Anglo-American-Zionist Nexus is an at-risk social-group.

“So, what’s your beef Barack?”

[Sigh] “Ben, you’re making us look bad-ass, so stop. Bibi, stop bombing, already!!!”

“Hamas started it!”

“In a way, they did Bibi. [Sniggering] They were democratically elected in 2006 because the Palestinians wanted a government with the balls to stand up to their vicious, psychopathic criminal neighbours from Hell.”[5]

“Moreover, if you go back to 1948, the Zionist leadership that founded the Israeli state started it when they demolished 400 villages.[6]

And, if you go back even further, the Anglo-American Brotherhood started it before World War I, with their rivalrous plot to redraw the world maps, in order to egotistically dominate the world through the control of oil, finance, and supremacy in military power, propaganda and projected ideas such as Exceptionalism, derived merely from the protection that sea water afforded them”

“Christ Bibi! Even diligent Germany tried to get the English to co-invest in the Berlin-to-Baghdad railway during the 1890s and early 1900s, to transport oil back to Europe, but the toffy English decided to play-off all sides against one another in a psychopathic attempt to reinvigorate their fading sissy empire, and the sneaky American Masonic Brotherhood joined in the ‘Great Game’ and came out trumps.”[7]

No more bullets Bibi: Netanyahu told Israel will be isolated if it keeps making the United States “look bad-ass.”

No more bullets Bibi: Netanyahu told Israel will be isolated if it keeps making the United States “look bad-ass.”

“Oy Gevalt!” (imagine any four letter swear word).

“Benjamin, everyone can see Gaza is the world’s biggest open-air prison. Even the Afrikaner Broederbond [a white supremacist brotherhood] weren’t this brazen during their apartheid reign in South Africa.[8] You’re pushing our Zionist-controlled White House-Hollywood-Bubble Gum TV News propaganda system out to its theoretical limits, Bibi.[9] So, desist already, or we’ll cut your bullets, your bombs and your 3 billion-a-year allowance.”

“Fakakta! (This is fucked-up) [Pause] Can I shoot Arabs on the West Bank, or in Jerusal-?”

“Nooo! Jeesus, Bibi. [Pause. Inaudible moaning from Jerusalem end of the line] Benjamin, don’t plotz (explode) on me. Look, we need you Zionists to stop killing Palestinians, for Christ’s sake. Or, rather for our World Domination plot’s sake.”

“But, Barack, as I said on CNN, Hamas wants, ‘to pile up as many civilian dead as they can’ and ‘use telegenically dead Palestinians for their cause.’”[10]

“Wow! [Pause] Yooou were actually serious. We thought you were just spinning PR lines. [Muffled chuckles] Ben, there’s nothing telegenic about dead children, weeping fathers and howling mothers. The images of bodies, body parts and blood-stained rubble are killing our alliance.”

“How?”

Oh Brother: Hollywood’s Director listens to Netanyahu’s ‘Arab problem.’

Oh Brother: Hollywood’s Director of War Theaters listens to Netanyahu’s ‘Arab problem.’

“Weellll, the problem is Dumb-dee-doo people believe Palestinians, like everyone else, have the right to life, liberty and love. It’s a major drawback of our schmaltzy Hollywood propaganda system that American Zionists created here in cahoots with the Pentagon and the Department of War, before its was re-branded following World War II. But you knew that, already. [Silence] When we promote freedom and democracy so much, eerr, Dumb-dee-doo people believe that it’s bad to take the rights to life, liberty and yadda yadda away from people by, eerr, exploding hi-speed, hot pieces of metal into their fellow humans going about their trauma-filled daily lives.”[11]

“Verklempt! Jesuus, Barack you’re going soft!”

Massacre in Gaza: 1359 killed, 7677 injured by Israeli ‘Defence’ Forces since July 8.

More Bang Please:  Zionist cartoonists asked for Hollywood-style explosions to inspire dramatic Gaza Comic Strip pictures.

“Weellll, the problem is Dumb-dee-doo people believe Palestinians, like everyone else, have the right to life, liberty and love. It’s a major drawback of our schmaltzy Hollywood propaganda system that American Zionists created here in cahoots with the Pentagon and the Department of War, before it was re-branded following World War II. But you knew that, already. [Silence] When we promote freedom and democracy so much, eerr, Dumb-dee-doo citizens believe that it’s bad to take the rights to life, liberty and yadda-yadda away from people by, eerr, exploding hi-speed, hot pieces of metal into their fellow humans going about their trauma-filled daily lives.”[11]

“Verklempt. (To get choked up, but said here sarcastically). Don’t you care about the fascist aesthetic taste for mayhem? Jesuus, Barack you’re going soft!

“No, I’m playing the hand that’s been dealt to me, Ben. Your military’s bombardment is making even Dumb-dee-doo Christians, video games addicts and the UN question America’s alliance with Israel. Even Jews can see that Zionist Israel is an expansionist, racist apartheid regime.[12] Not because you even come close to the numbers of innocent civilians we’ve obliterated in Iraq and Afghanistan. Rather, it’s because you haven’t got control of the imagery coming out of Gaza that we had in those other War of Terror theaters. So, no more killing Ben ’til we figure out a way to do it with a media-secure war theater lock-down.”

When Zionist Propaganda Collapses: The Israeli apartheid regime’s staple ‘anti-Semitic’ rhetoric aimed at critics of it’s state terror toward Palestinians becomes shaky spiel.

 Zionists speak shaky spiel, say New York Jews: Cracks first appeared in Israel’s ‘anti-Semitic’ defense mechanism, The Zion Dome, when New York Jews realized Palestinians were excluded from Soccer World Cup because they didn’t have a state.

“Shmegegge!” (Jerk)

“I heard that Bibi. I’m cutting kosher wine, chocolates, the Bling and Lego shipments! You can explain to the Israeli middle-class, who won’t be able to afford black-market prices, why.” (Laughter from White House end of the line)

“Oh please, please. [Pause] Mr President, middle-class Jews demanding to know why treats, trinkets and toys have been cut is more dangerous than Hamas, Hezbollah, Al Qaeda, ISIS and NATO put together. All hell will break loose. Even Zionists don’t dare mess with a Jews’ access to treats, trinkets and toys. Mr Presi-”

==============

Journalist Iggy Swind has worked alongside reporter Clark Kent at the Daily Planet and photojournalist Peter Parker at the Daily Bugle. Swind’s investigations proved both super-heroes work undercover for the Hollywood media cartel to distract mass audiences with their mediocre ‘saving the world’ action sagas, leaving the vicious, psychopathic criminals that run the world at-large. Those investigations have been suppressed.

Facebook: Snoopman News

Twitter:  Snoop Monster @SnoopmanNews

Top Story on US satire website, Glossy News: “Bibi, stop bombing or we’ll cut your bullets,” Obama Tells Netanyahu at: http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201408062347/bibi-stop-bombing-or-well-cut-your-bullets-obama-tells-netanyahu/

==============

SEE: “A Guide to Swearing in Yiddish” at: http://groupthink.jezebel.com/a-guide-to-swearing-in-yiddish-483890863

Additional Sources:

[1] Eugene Jarecki (2006). Why We Fight at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4SgEy2khOE

[2] “Israel’s propaganda machine is finally starting to misfire” at: http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/israels-propaganda-machine-is-finally-starting-to-misfire-9636417.html; “The secret report that helps Israel hide facts” at http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/israelgaza-conflict-the-secret-report-that-helps-israelis-to-hide-facts-9630765.html; “Obama: Israel has right to defend itself” at: http://www.presstv.ir/detail/2014/07/27/373040/obama-israel-has-right-to-defend-itself/

[3] William Engdahl. (2004). A Century of War: Anglo-American Oil Politics and the New World Order (Rev. ed.). London, England: Pluto Press; William Engdahl. (2009). Gods of Money: Wall Street and the Death of the American Century. Wiesbaden, Germany: edition.engdahl; The Globalization of NATO. Atlanta, USA: Clarity Press; Pilger, John. (2007). The War on Democracy. Retrieved from http://www.maoritelevision.com/tv/shows/tuesday-festival-documentaries; Pilger, J. (2002). The New Rulers of the World. London: Verso; Pilger, J. & Lowry, A. (2001). The New Rulers of the World. Carlton Television; Preparata, Guido Giacomo. (2005). Conjuring Hitler: How Britain and America Made the Third Reich. London: Pluto Press.

[4] Brown, E. H. (2008). The Web of Debt: The Shocking Truth About Our Money System and How We Can Break Free (2nd ed.), p. 68-69. Baton Rouge, LA: Third Millennium Press; Engdahl 2004: 127-141; 2009: 265-272); A Century of War; Engdahl 2009: 265-275). Gods of Money; Estulin (2009: 46). The True Story of the Bilderberg Group.  Griffin, G. E. (2008). The Creature from Jekyll Island: A Second Look at the Federal Reserve (4th ed.), p.175-176. Westlake Village, CA: American Media; Paul Grignon (2009). Money as Debt II. [Motion Picture]. Money as Debt. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmbWBpnCNk; Michael Hudson. (2012, September 22). Modern Money & Public Purpose 1: The Historical Evolution of Money and Debt. ModernMoneyNetwork. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zEbo8PIPSc; Rowbotham, M. (1998). The Grip of Death: A Study in Modern Money, Debt Slavery and Destructive Economics.  Charlbury, England: Jon Carpenter; Still, W.T. (2009). The Secrets of Oz [Motion Picture] The Money Masters. http://www.themoneymasters.com/ or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swkq2E8mswI

[5] What The Media Isn’t Telling You About Israel’s Attack on Gaza
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtiMW7M1yeI; What Happened In Israel & Palestine In June 2014?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiO5pHIYrp0

[6] John Pilger (2014). Palestine Is Still the Issue at” http://johnpilger.com/videos/palestine-is-still-the-issue; Where Is Palestine? at: http://tune.pk/video/4281178/where-is-palestine“; Why is the World Silent on Israel Crimes in Palestine Miko Peled” at: http://mikopeled.com/2014/07/28/why-is-the-world-silent-on-israeli-crimes-in-palestine/;

[7] William Engdahl. (2004). A Century of War: Anglo-American Oil Politics and the New World Order (Rev. ed.). London, England: Pluto Press; William Engdahl. (2009). Gods of Money: Wall Street and the Death of the American Century. Wiesbaden, Germany: edition.engdahl; Preparata, Guido Giacomo. (2005). Conjuring Hitler: How Britain and America Made the Third Reich. London: Pluto Press.

[8] Snoopman, (28 January 2014) The Audacity of Obama: A Black Wolf in Corporate Clothing at:
http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/01/28/the-audacity-of-obama-a-black-wolf-in-corporate-clothing/;The Iron Wall at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC4Yk2keLus

[9] Matthew Alford and Robbie Graham (2009, January 21). Lights, Camera… Covert Action: The Deep Politics of Hollywood. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/lights-camera-covert-action-the-deep-politics-of-hollywood/11921; Herman, E. S. & Chomsky, N. (2008). Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media (Anniversary ed.). London, England: The Bodley Head. (Original work published 1988); Edwards.(2012). It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid, p. 45-52. Retrieved from http://hdl.handle.net/10292/5536; Julie Lévesque. (2013, March 1). Screen Propaganda, Hollywood and the CIA. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/screen-propaganda-hollywood-and-the-cia/5324589; Pappas, R. K. (Director/Writer), Blackburn, T. (Writer), Foley, M. (Producer). (2004). Orwell Rolls in his Grave [Motion picture]. USA: Buzzflash.com; Psywar: The Real Battlefield is the Mind. Metanioa. Retrieved from http://metanoia-films.org/: http://vimeo.com/14772678; Eric Walberg (2012, September 12). Hollywood Scripting and the Pentagon: Creating “The Enemy du Jour”. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/hollywood-scripting-and-the-pentagon-creating-the-enemy-du-jour/5304202; Wintonick, P. (Director/Producer) & Achbar, M. (Director/Producer). (1992). Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media [Motion picture].Canada: Necessary Illusions.

[10] Patrick Cockburn. (2014, July 29). “Israel’s propaganda machine is finally starting to misfire” at: http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/israels-propaganda-machine-is-finally-starting-to-misfire-9636417.html; Chris Hedges (2014, August 6). “Israel’s Big Lies that feed racism among its supporters and terror among its victims” at: http://stopwar.org.uk/news/israel-s-big-lies-feeding-racism-among-its-supporters-and-terror-among-its-victims#.U-KpAYXelcy

[11] Jesse Benjamin. (2013, June 26). ‘World War Z’ and Hollywood’s Zionist Embrace. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/world-war-z-and-hollywoods-zionist-embrace/5340521; Lesley Docksey ( 2011, 23 January). War By Right : Hollywood’s Love Affair with War. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/war-by-right-hollywood-s-love-affair-with-war/22922; Eugene Jarecki (2006). Why We Fight at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4SgEy2khOE; Stephen Lendman. (2013, February 28). Hollywood-Style History. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/hollywood-style-history/5324641; Jack A. Smith.  (2010, September 05). “The Militarization of Hollywood”: Unlocking “The Hurt Locker”. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-militarization-of-hollywood-unlocking-the-hurt-locker/20910).

[12] THE IRON WALL at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC4Yk2keLus;
Life in Gaza Explained at: http://www.disclose.tv/forum/operation-protective-edge-palestine-israel-2014-war-thread-t95715-120.html; 5 Reasons Why Israel is an Apartheid State | Weapons of Mass Distraction at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPX0F-UqF-k; Where Is Palestine?
http://tune.pk/video/4281178/where-is-palestine;
Chomsky on Gaza – Noam Chomsky 01/13/2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am3n4qWmDzs; Noam Chomsky – US Israeli Crimes Against Palestine (FULL) 20 Apr, 2010 at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0kgG1_6Qn0
; “Anti-Semitism: The Ultimate Zionist Weapon” at:
http://www.globalresearch.ca/anti-semitism-the-ultimate-zionist-weapon/5394499

=============

Mirrored on Snoopman News @ http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/07/31/stop-bombing-already-leaked-white-house-transcript-30-july-2014-est/

Harry Potter’s Suppressed Interview (Edited Transcript)

A Wizard Goblin Bankers’ War. Magically Conjured Credit. How the Wizard Bankers’ Military Underpins the US Dollar. Harry Potter, who traveled by an ultra-fast sub-terrain train network to the far-flung economy of New Zealand for an interview with a non-Hollywood aligned news outlet, Snoopman News, arrived at night. It was stormy. The interview took place on the mean streets of Auckland, New Zealand’s largest city, which was built unwisely in a volcanic rainforest.

Epic Storm Brewing: US President Barack Obama and New Zealand Prime Minister (& ex-banker) John Key read about the suppression of Harry Potter’s interview following his stormy rendezvous with Snoopman News.

Epic Storm Brewing: US President Barack Obama and New Zealand Prime Minister (& ex-banker) John Key read about the suppression of Harry Potter’s interview following his stormy rendezvous with Snoopman News.

By Sophia Bigg-Storm, 19 July 2014

SEE FULLY STORY:Harry Potter Breaks Hollywood Gag-clause

====================

Harry Potter: Sophia, thanks for meeting me in the middle of a storm. When I was working on the Harry Potter film series, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger and I found out that there is a Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War raging. This war has been going on for 900 years, ever since the Knight’s Templar Dark Wizards established an international banking system and built the castles of Europe as a wealth defence network.[i] Their system threatened the Goblin bankers plans for financial control of the Muggle World.

When Dark Wizard Pope Clement abolished the Templar Wizard’s order in 1313, the surviving Templar Wizard’s went underground. They eventually resurfaced as a new occult society, Freemasonry, which served as a covert mechanism to spread the British Empire.[ii]

Fraternities of Dark Wizard and Witch Bankers across every region of the world fight with each other and with the Goblin Bankers, who traditionally have been far more unified.[iii] However, the bankers of the magical realm control almost every Muggle economy. The most powerful faction are the Trans-Atlantic Dark Wizard Capitalists, centered around Anglo-American Banking and Oil Dynasties, who have gained tremendous power over almost every nation through wars and terrorism, and other forms of coercion, including financial and economic warfare.[iv]

The US dollar, which has been the world’s unofficial world currency since World War II, has been backed by the United States’ muggle military, and not gold or silver as it has been at various times.[v] Because USA America has used its military power to force or coerce nearly every country in the world to trade oil in US dollars, the rest of the world has, in effect, been financing the Dark Wizard’s militarization of the planet through the USA American Empire.[vi]

There’s one thing that the rivalrous Dark Wizards and Witches and their perennial enemies, the Goblin Bankers’, agree on and that is to maintain and control debt-based money systems.[vii] In a debt-based monetary system, the supply of cash is kept scarce. Because most muggles are restricted from earning enough, due to this enforced scarcity of cash, they are coerced to borrow from the Dark Wizards, Witches and Goblins of banking.

It’s very stealthy. This imposed cash scarcity means the entire muggle race is forced to compete for cash, that the Dark Wizard and Goblin bankers keep scarce, in order to try to make enough money to pay the ‘loans’ and interest.[viii]

It gets worse.

Credit is simply magical money conjured into existence out of thin air at the time naïve muggle ‘borrowers’ agree to make payments in the future to service the ‘loan’.[ix]

Look at us. We’re completely soaked. (From inside his jacket, Potter retrieved his wand to perform a drying charm). Exaresco!

====================

====================
Amazonian-American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominant the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues.  Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer,  a newspaper that movie critics think is just make-believe because it was depicted in the movie Citizen Kane. She was recently gifted Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth on a recent holiday to her ancestral home of Paradise Island, which is driving other reporters mad with envy.

Additional Sources:

[i] Glynn Davies. (2002). A History of Money: From Ancient Times to the Present Day, p. 153-166. Cardiff, Wales: University of Wales Press; Christopher Knight and Robert Lomas. (1998). The Second Messiah: Templars, The Turin Shroud & The Great Secret of Freemasonry. London; Geoffrey Madeja. (2013). The Templar Code. History Channel. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHWLVKiCdNs; UK: Arrow Books; Winters, J. A. (2011). Oligarchy. New York: Cambridge University Press.

[ii] Bullock, Steven C. (1996). Revolutionary’s Brotherhood: Freemasonry and the Transformation of the American Social Order. University of North Carolina Press.

[iii] James Rickards. (2012). Currency Wars: The Making of the Next Global Crisis. New York; USA: Portfoliio/Penguin.

[iv] Steve Edwards. (2012). It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid: A study of Anglo-American news coverage during the 2007-2008 financial crisis and bank bailouts. (SEE Chapter 2). Retrieved from http://hdl.handle.net/10292/5536; William Engdahl. (2004). A Century of War: Anglo-American Oil Politics and the New World Order (Rev. ed.). London, England: Pluto Press; William Engdahl. (2009). Gods of Money: Wall Street and the Death of the American Century. Wiesbaden, Germany: edition.engdahl; Nazemroaya, Madhi Darius. (2012). The Globalization of NATO. Atlanta, USA: Clarity Press; Pilger, John. (2007). The War on Democracy. Retrieved from http://www.maoritelevision.com/tv/shows/tuesday-festival-documentaries; Pilger, J. (2002). The New Rulers of the World. London: Verso; Pilger, J. & Lowry, A. (2001). The New Rulers of the World. Carlton Television.

[v] Hudson, M. (2010). The “Dollar Glut” Finances America’s global military build-up. In M. Chossudovsky & A. G. Marshall (Eds.), The global economic crisis: The great depression of the XXI Century (pp. 212-218). Montreal, Canada: Global Research Publishers.

[vi] Engdahl 2004: 127-141; 2009: 265-272); A Century of War; Engdahl 2009: 265-275). Gods of Money; Estulin (2009: 46). The True Story of the Bilderberg Group.

[vii] Brown, E. H. (2008). The Web of Debt; Edwards, Steve. (2012). It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid: A study of Anglo-American news coverage during the 2007-2008 financial crisis and bank bailouts. (SEE Chapter 2). Retrieved from http://hdl.handle.net/10292/5536; David Graeber. (2012). Debt: The First 5,000 Years; Paul Grignon (2009). Money as Debt II. [Motion Picture]. Money as Debt. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmbWBpnCNk; Michael Hudson. (2012, September 22). Modern Money & Public Purpose 1: The Historical Evolution of Money and Debt. ModernMoneyNetwork. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zEbo8PIPSc; Rowbotham, M. (1998). The Grip of Death: A Study in Modern Money, Debt Slavery and Destructive Economics.  Charlbury, England: Jon Carpenter; Still, W.T. (2009). The Secrets of Oz [Motion Picture] The Money Masters. http://www.themoneymasters.com/ or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swkq2E8mswI

[viii] Consumer inflation measures only the increase in the cost of ‘goods’ over time, while the costs of ‘assets,’ such as land, buildings and machinary are ignored Rowbotham. (1998). The Grip of Death, p.292; Brown. (2008). The Web of Debt, p. 30-31; Grignon. (2009). Money as Debt II. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmbWBpnCNk

[ix] Brown, E. H. (2008). The Web of Debt; Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. (1994). Modern money mechanics: A workbook on bank reserves and deposit expansion. Retrieved from http://ia700202.us.archive.org/3/items/ModernMoneyMechanics/MMM.pdf; Paul Grignon (2009). Money as Debt II. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmbWBpnCNk; Griffin, G. E. (2008). The Creature from Jekyll Island; Rowbotham, M. (1998). The Grip of Death: A Study in Modern Money, Debt Slavery and Destructive Economics, p. 66; Rowbotham, M. (2000). Goodbye America!: Globalization, Debt and the Dollar System, p. 90. Charlbury, England: Jon Carpenter.

 

Harry Potter Breaks Hollywood Gag-clauses

Harry Potter breaks Warner Brothers gag-clauses. The wizard reveals What Must Not Be Spoken in the News Media Anywhere in the Muggle World. Here, for the first time, the shocking truth behind why one of the world’s most famous wizards was forced to live a double life as Daniel Radcliffe in the Muggle World since he signed with the Hollywood movie studio. Potter spoke on the record with investigative journalist Sophia-Bigg-Storm about how the White House-Hollywood-Military-Media Propaganda Complex censored all wizards and witches who appeared in the Harry Potter movies from talking about a 900-year old Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War waged for financial control of the Muggle World.

Epic Storm Brewing: US President Barack Obama and New Zealand Prime Minister (& ex-banker) John Key read about the suppression of Harry Potter’s interview following his stormy rendezvous with Snoopman News.

Epic Storm Brewing: US President Barack Obama and New Zealand Prime Minister (& ex-banker) John Key read about the suppression of Harry Potter’s interview following his stormy rendezvous with Snoopman News.

 

By Sophia Bigg-Storm, 19 July 2014

Raining on the Dark Wizards’ Parades

Wizard Harry Potter has shocked the Dark Forces of the Magical Realm that rule over the Muggle World. The shock is not because Harry Potter spoke about the double life he has lived as Daniel Radcliffe in the Muggle World since he signed with the Warner Brothers movie studio to make the Harry Potter film series. Every muggle kid over the age of big six has worked this out and told their parents.

Rather, Potter has rocked the White House-Hollywood-Military-Media Propaganda Complex because he has spoken to a non-aligned news-outlet located in the Muggle World about an epic war being fought between Dark Wizards and Goblins. (It is a war fought mostly between males, because they dominate the top positions of banking and most other institutions).

This war has intensified in the last four decades.[i] In short, these  creatures are using their magical powers to fight over the politics of money. Bless.

Potter stated that Warner Brothers movie studio had written gag-clauses into all the wizards and witches contracts, including his and his co-stars’ witch, Hermione Granger and wizard, Ron Weasley. The Hollywood executives anticipated as the magically gifted stars grew older, they would learn about the Wizard-Goblin’s Bankers’ War and likely try to alert entertainment-hungry naïve muggles about it. The wizard said they tried on numerous occasions to tell muggle reporters, but they would think the three young wizards were playing on the accepted separation between make-believe and make-real.

Furthermore, Potter explained key insiders of the world’s major news outlets have access to the major magical-stream media newspaper, the Daily Prophet, and like the world’s political leaders, they are well-briefed on the Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War. The wizard said these key insiders were offered interviews with numerous wizards and witches, but all rebuffed the opportunities, except The Washington Post, whose reporter fantisized about scooping Magicgate, but was too caged in conformity and ‘chickened-out’ at the last minute.

Moreover, Potter’s interview with the non-aligned news outlet Snoopman News in Auckland New Zealand, was sent to all the world’s major news outlets via the Daily Prophet newspaper and a planet-wide muggle media blackout on the scoop followed. We also checked with our secret contacts in the Obama administration, who checked White House transcripts of phone calls, memos and other communications that are currently blocked from being ritualistically leaked. Those sources confirmed Harry Potter’s story, but could not risk providing communications at this time.

Fraternal Friends: The world’s major muggle-stream media outlets maintain a black-out on the Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War.

Fraternal Friends: The world’s major muggle-stream media outlets maintain a black-out on the Wizard-Goblin Bankers’ War.

Because of this worldwide censorship by unofficial means, numerous Light-working Wizards and Witches decided that it was time to break the Ministry of Magic’s law. That law stipulates that wizard and witches Must Not Reveal to Muggles the Magical Realm.

But, the Light-working Wizards and Witches decided that unless they did, muggles would become enslaved forever by debt. To this end, Harry Potter was sent via a hi-speed magnetized train network that runs through a natural tunnel labyrinth within the Earth’s crusty rock, to a far-flung outpost of the American Empire, the New Zealand economy.

Potter said, “We’ve been extremely concerned about the fight between Dark Witches and Wizards and their enemies, the Goblin Bankers for some time.” A capitalist fraternity of Dark Wizards and Witches had struggled, throughout time and between the magical and muggle realms, with Goblin bankers for world domination, he said.[ii]

 

World Domination by Finance

The famous wizard said that the American Empire has used its military power to force or coerce nearly every country in the world to trade oil in US dollars, during an interview that took place at night on the mean streets of Auckland, New Zealand’s largest city, in the middle of a week-long storm.

Harry Potter said, “[t]he US dollar, which has been the world’s unofficial world currency since World War II, has been backed by the United States’ muggle military, and not gold or silver as it has been at various times.”[iii] By making the US dollar the central currency to trade oil, the world has, in effect, been financing the Dark Wizard’s militarization of the far-flung planet, Potter explained.[iv]

War Tree Wand: President Obama carries his wand when in transit in case the Dark Wizards order another war.

War Tree Wand: Obama carries his wand when in transit in case the Dark Wizards order another war.

As audacious as that plot is, the Fraternity of Dark Wizard bankers and their rival Goblin bankers have burdened the world with debt to the tune of over $100 trillion.[v] Potter stated, “The Fraternities of Dark Wizard and Goblin Bankers have captured most nation states during the last nine centuries  through wars and terrorism, and other forms of traumatizing drama, including financial, economic and psychological warfare, with religious beliefs playing a major supporting role.[vi]

Their purpose has been to ensure that spineless governments borrow off the spiffily-dressed  bankers, rather than control the issuance of the currencies and credit through their dimly-lit state treasuries, Potter said.[vii] As a result, most governments lack the sovereign power to supply their jurisdictions with the right proportion of debt-free currency and interest-free credit to facilitate the creation of resilient, sustainable and peaceful grown-up societies.[viii]

It gets worse.

The rivalrous Dark Wizards and Goblin Bankers all over the world ensure the supply of cash is scarce. “Due to this enforced scarcity, most muggles are restricted from earning enough and they are coerced to borrow from the banking fraternities,” Potter said.[ix]

The Light-working wizard stated the Dark Wizard and Goblin bankers do not actually lend money they have when they brazenly make loans. It turns out that credit is simply magical money conjured into existence out of annoyingly thin air at the time naïve muggle ‘borrowers’ agree to make payments in the future to service the ‘loan’.[x]

Sellers of goods and services bought on credit deposit the credit funds throughout the banking system. These funds get counted as new deposits. The banks use the deposits “to buy interest-bearing treasury securities, corporate bonds and other financial instruments, like shares” to earn income off. It’s upon that base of deposits that banks make new ‘loans’, also conjured into existence out of annoyingly thin air.[xi]

“What this means,” explained Potter, “is that the entire Muggle race is forced to compete for the cash that the Dark Wizard and Goblin bankers keep scarce, in order to try to make enough money to pay the ‘loans’ and interest.”

“Because the Dark Capitalist Wizards, Witches and Goblins are so well-connected to their magical insiders working in politics, judiciaries, militaries, academia, ecclesiastical and media institutions, their spells over muggles are tricky to break”, Potter said with a raised eyebrow, indicating he could hardly believe how brazen this dark network of ‘has-beens’ has been fooling even low-level bean counters.[xii]

Credit Conjurer: Ex-Wall Street & London banker, John Key, as New Zealand's prime minister uses his Money Tree Wand to borrow $300m a week from a "foreign pixie" to keep the economy 'solvent'.

Credit Conjurer: Ex-Wall Street & London banker, John Key, as New Zealand’s prime minister uses his Money Tree Wand to borrow $300m a week from a “foreign pixie” to keep the economy ‘solvent’.

 

Dark Royalty Blood

We reached Britomart Train Station in downtown Auckland, New Zealand, and stepped into the wall at Platform 3 and One Third. We were now among the hubbub of the magical world in the underground Transcontinental Train Transport station.

Potter retrieved his wand and with the drying charm, exaresco, he made us dry again. We said goodbye. I saw what I thought was childrens’ purple water-colour paint on the pavement. “Purple paint,” I blurted to escape embarrassment of the fan-girlish feeling that came over me.

Harry followed my gaze and exclaimed “Wizard blood … or witch blood.”

“I thought witch and wizard blood was red,” I said.

“Not Dark Royalty blood,” said Potter, as we both tracked the purple blood splotches that started where I stood and led to the super-fast magnetic propulsion train, which took only three hours to travel to the opposite side of the planet. “It’s always purple!”

Dark Wizard or Witch Blood? Signs that a wounded Dark Royal boarded the fast train back to London.

Dark Wizard or Witch Blood? Signs that a wounded Dark Royal boarded the fast train back to London.

Potter boarded. “Be careful Harry,” I called.

I could see him following the trail of blood up an aisle, with his wand ready to zap at danger.

Potter swung around and I jumped. He opened a window. “Hermione wrote up notes and a list of references for you to use with the interview,” Potter called out, handing me a notebook with a green owl on the cover.

We both laughed hard. Harry Potter closed the carriage window a moment before the train bolted into the night throwing him hard against a seat.

I realized then that Harry Potter is one of the bravest, big-hearted people I have met. It would be shallow to write-off the risks that Potter takes simply because he is gifted with magical powers. To think that would mean to be suckered into the media persona conjured by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers.

Most people of privilege, including middle-class muggles, are too scaredy-cat to investigate the truth behind ‘the news’ themselves.[xiii]

Whereas, Harry Potter is using his privilege to help muggles see that what little freedom they have is in peril and to believe in their own source of magic: intuition, imagination and inquisitiveness.

As I reached our world headquarters, where elves were cleaning the newsroom, control rooms and studios, I wondered what colour would be used to depict witches’ blood in tampon and sanitary-pad commercials in the magical realm.

I told some of the elves, that I had rescued from labour camps in South East Asia while investigating Santa’s vast network of sweat-shops, that Harry Potter had recognized the purple blood of a wizard or witch. They were cleaning the toilets.

The elves said they did know what colour witches’ period blood would be depicted. But they said it would certainly not be purple in commercials. Not with Wizards and male Goblins controlling darkly magical capitalism.

====================

Amazonian-American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominant the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues.  Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer,  a newspaper that movie critics think is just make-believe because it was depicted in the movie Citizen Kane. She was recently gifted Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth on a recent holiday to her ancestral home of Paradise Island, which is driving other reporters mad with envy.

====================

SEE: Harry Potter’s Suppressed Interview (Edited Transcript) at:
http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=1808

Story mirrored on Snoopman News at: http://snoopman.net.nz/2014/07/19/harry-potter-breaks-hollywood-gag-clause/

Facebook: Snoopman News

Twitter:  Snoop Monster @SnoopmanNews

Additional Sources:


[i] David Graeber. (2012). Debt: The First 5,000 Years. New York; USA: Melville House; Michael Hudson. (2012, September 22). Modern Money & Public Purpose 1: The Historical Evolution of Money and Debt. ModernMoneyNetwork. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zEbo8PIPSc; Edwards, Steve. (2012). It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid: A study of Anglo-American news coverage during the 2007-2008 financial crisis and bank bailouts. (SEE Chapter 2). Retrieved from http://hdl.handle.net/10292/5536

[ii] Michael Hudson. (2012, September 22). Modern Money & Public Purpose 1: The Historical Evolution of Money and Debt. ModernMoneyNetwork. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zEbo8PIPSc; Livingstone, David. (2007). Terrorism and the Illuminati: A Three Thousand Year History. Charleston, SC: Booksurge LLC; Rowbotham, M. (1998). The Grip of Death: A Study in Modern Money, Debt Slavery and Destructive Economics.  Charlbury, England: Jon Carpenter; Still, W.T. (2009). The Secrets of Oz [Motion Picture] The Money Masters. Retrieved from http://www.themoneymasters.com/ or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swkq2E8mswI

[iii] Hudson, M. (2010). The “Dollar Glut” Finances America’s global military build-up. In M. Chossudovsky & A. G. Marshall (Eds.), The global economic crisis: The great depression of the XXI Century (pp. 212-218). Montreal, Canada: Global Research Publishers.

[iv] Engdahl 2004: 127-141; 2009: 265-272); A Century of War; Engdahl 2009: 265-275). Gods of Money; Estulin (2009: 46). The True Story of the Bilderberg Group.

[v] John Glover. (2014, March 10). Global Debt Exceeds $100 Trillion as Governments Binge, BIS Says. Retrieved from http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-03-09/global-debt-exceeds-100-trillion-as-governments-binge-bis-says.html#Global%20Debt%20Exceeds%20$100%20Trilli

[vi] Glynn Davies. (2002). A History of Money: From Ancient Times to the Present Day, p. 153-166. Cardiff, Wales: University of Wales Press; Steve Edwards. (2012). It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid: A study of Anglo-American news coverage during the 2007-2008 financial crisis and bank bailouts. (SEE Chapter 2). Retrieved from http://hdl.handle.net/10292/5536; William Engdahl. (2004). A Century of War: Anglo-American Oil Politics and the New World Order (Rev. ed.). London, England: Pluto Press; William Engdahl. (2009). Gods of Money: Wall Street and the Death of the American Century. Wiesbaden, Germany: edition.engdahl; Christopher Knight and Robert Lomas. (1998).  The Second Messiah: Templars, The Turin Shroud & The Great Secret of Freemasonry. London; UK: Arrow Books. Geoffrey Madeja (2013). The Templar Code. History Channel. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHWLVKiCdNs; Nazemroaya, Madhi Darius. (2012). The Globalization of NATO. Atlanta, USA: Clarity Press; Pilger, John. (2007). The War on Democracy. Retrieved from http://www.maoritelevision.com/tv/shows/tuesday-festival-documentaries; Pilger, J. (2002). The New Rulers of the World. London: Verso; Pilger, J. & Lowry, A. (2001). The New Rulers of the World. Carlton Television.

[vii] Paul Grignon (2009). Money as Debt II. [Motion Picture]. Money as Debt. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmbWBpnCNk

[viii] Brown, E. H. (2008). The Web of Debt: The Shocking Truth About Our Money System and How We Can Break Free (2nd ed.), p. 68-69. Baton Rouge, LA: Third Millennium Press; Griffin, G. E. (2008). The Creature from Jekyll Island: A Second Look at the Federal Reserve (4th ed.), p.175-176. Westlake Village, CA: American Media.

[ix] Paul Grignon (2009). Money as Debt II. [Motion Picture]. Money as Debt. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmbWBpnCNk; Michael Hudson. (2012, September 22). Modern Money & Public Purpose 1: The Historical Evolution of Money and Debt. ModernMoneyNetwork. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zEbo8PIPSc; Rowbotham, M. (1998). The Grip of Death: A Study in Modern Money, Debt Slavery and Destructive Economics.  Charlbury, England: Jon Carpenter; Still, W.T. (2009). The Secrets of Oz [Motion Picture] The Money Masters. http://www.themoneymasters.com/ or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swkq2E8mswI

[x] Brown, E. H. (2008). The Web of Debt; Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. (1994). Modern money mechanics: A workbook on bank reserves and deposit expansion. Retrieved from http://ia700202.us.archive.org/3/items/ModernMoneyMechanics/MMM.pdf; Paul Grignon (2009). Money as Debt II. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmbWBpnCNk; Griffin, G. E. (2008). The Creature from Jekyll Island; Rowbotham, M. (1998). The Grip of Death: A Study in Modern Money, Debt Slavery and Destructive Economics, p. 66; Rowbotham, M. (2000). Goodbye America!: Globalization, Debt and the Dollar System, p. 90. Charlbury, England: Jon Carpenter.

[xi] Edwards. (2012). It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid, p. 40-41. Retrieved from http://hdl.handle.net/10292/5536; Rowbotham, M. (1998). The Grip of Death: A Study in Modern Money, Debt Slavery and Destructive Economics, p. 25-26; Paul Grignon (2009). Money as Debt II. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmbWBpnCNk

[xii] Carroll, W. K. (2010). The Making of a Transnational Capitalist Class: Corporate Power in the 21st Century. London: Zed Books; Coghlan, Andy & MacKenzie, Debora  Revealed – the capitalist network that runs the world. (2011, October 24). Retrieved from http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21228354.500-revealed–the-capitalist-network-that-runs-the world.html#.U4PmmoXelcw; Engdahl, F. W. (2009). Gods of Money: Wall Street and the Death of the American Century.Wiesbaden, Germany: edition.engdahl; Estulin, D. (2009). The True Story of the Bilderberg Group, 183-184. (North American Union ed.). Walterville, OR: Trine Day LLC; Hedges, Chris.(2014, January 6). The Last Gasp of American Democracy. Truthout. Retrieved from http://www.truth out.org/opinion/item/21052-chris-hedges-the-last-gasp-of-american-democracy;  Klein, Naomi. (2007). The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism. Camberwell, Australia: Penguin Books; Nazemroaya, Madhi Darius. (2012). The Globalization of NATO. Atlanta, USA: Clarity Press; Phillips, Peter & Osborne, Brady (2013, September 13). Exposing the Financial Core of the Transnational Capitalist Class. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/exposing-the-financial-core-of-the transnational-capitalist-class/5349617; Phillips, Peter & Soeiro, Kimberley. (2012, August 14). The Global 1%: Exposing the Transnational Ruling Class. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/theglobal-1-exposing-the-transnational-ruling-class/32356; Shoup, L. H. & Minter, W. (2004 [1977]). Imperial Brain Trust: The Council on Foreign Relations and United States Foreign Policy, 254-284. New York, NY: Authors Choice Press; Whitecross, M & Winterbottom, A. (Directors) & Eaton, A. (Producer). (2009). The Shock Doctrine. [Motion picture]. A Renegade Pictures/Revolution Films Production. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iW1SHPgUAQ; Wintonick, P.(Director/Producer) & Achbar, M. (Director/Producer). (1992). Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media [Motion picture]. Canada: Necessary Illusions.

[xiii] Herman, E. S. & Chomsky, N. (2008). Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media (Anniversary ed.). London, England: The Bodley Head. (Original work published 1988); Edwards.(2012). It’s the financial oligarchy, stupid, p. 45-52. Retrieved from http://hdl.handle.net/10292/5536; Pappas, R. K. (Director/Writer), Blackburn, T. (Writer), Foley, M. (Producer). (2004). Orwell Rolls in his Grave [Motion picture]. USA: Buzzflash.com; Psywar: The Real Battlefield is the Mind. Metanioa. Retrieved from http://metanoia-films.org/: http://vimeo.com/14772678; Wintonick, P. (Director/Producer) & Achbar, M. (Director/Producer). (1992). Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media [Motion picture].Canada: Necessary Illusions.

Conjuring the Smiling Assassin

A Money Tree Wand. An ex-banker’s note book of spells. Objects of a double life. A financial wizard who was just a muggle with no magical ability. A wizard comedian willing to train the ex-banker in the Dark Arts of Wizard Bastardry. Now, the banker is running a country and the comedian is dead. Enter, an Amazonian reporter packing Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth. This is the incredible story of how wizard comedian Rik Mayall conjured the ‘smiling assassin’, AKA John Key, New Zealand’s prime minister. Although numerous parliamentary press reporters in New Zealand witnessed John Key’s Lasso of Truth Interview, none have run stories to expose the shocking truth. The NewStatesman, in association with Snoopman News, reports the intrigue here.

From Muggle to Wizard: Ex-Banker’s Suppressed Lasso of Truth Interview.

From Muggle to Wizard: Ex-Banker’s Suppressed Lasso of Truth Interview.

Written by Simon Twoleftfeet, 21 June 2014

(Based on Reporting by Sophia Bigg-Storm)

 

English Comedian, Rik Mayall, who died on June 9 in London, once trained New Zealand’s current prime minister, John Key, in the Dark Art of Wizard Bastardry, while the former investment banker-turned politician started work at Merrill Lynch in London.

John Key, who has been prime minister of New Zealand for nearly six years and whose net-worth is estimated to be $50 million, was head of global foreign exchange at Merrill Lynch in the square mile financial district of the City of London, between 1995 and 2001. During this time at Merrill Lynch, he became known among staff as the ‘smiling assassin’, evidently because he maintained a smile while firing hundreds of staff as the impacts of the Wall St-Washington-City-of-London Complex-engineered Asian financial crisis caught up with the global-scale investment bank. Or, so the tale went.

It has emerged that Key’s killer smile originally came from Rik Mayall. More specifically, it was inspired by a character Rik Mayall played, Alan Beresford B’Stard, an ambitiously greedy, obnoxious and scruple-deficient Conservative Party MP, in the British television satire series, The New Statesman (1987-1992). The fictional Tory MP is one of British comedy’s best-known bastards.

Comic Wizard: Mayall’s fans did not realize he used magic to be funny.

Comic Wizard: Mayall’s fans did not realize he used magic to be funny.

Beginning in the northern winter of 1995, Key met Mayall once a week on Wednesday nights, a day the pair called “Wicked Wednesday’s”, for private tutorials that began at the Mayall’s family home. The instruction Mayall gave Key was more than the usual techniques of acting, such as knowing your character inside out.

The tuition quickly became occult when Mayall discovered Key did not know a thing about magic.

Mayall met Key when the investment banker accosted the comedian at the old world headquarters of the BBC, in reception. Key propositioned Mayall to teach him “bastard tricks”. But because Key, like most New Zealanders, slurs his vowels even when sober, the English comedian thought the former bond and derivatives trader was telling him that a consignment of bio-engineered sheep were held up in busted trucks.

Evidently, Mayall’s reaction was to pull his famous ‘glare face’, and he flashed a look at a BBC security guard, Bob Batton-Wheelder, to remove the hazard because he thought Key was mad. But, when the former BBC security guard, translated Key’s request, Mayall raised his eye-brow. Batton-Wheelder says Mayall’s devious grin grew as he heard Key say clear enough, “I’ve got loads of money. I’m a banker.” Key told Mayall he wanted to be New Zealand’s leading statesman.

Messianic Victory Gesture: Mayall taught Key how to be ‘God’s gift to your nation’. Key, an atheist, mucked up the gesture.

Messianic Victory Gesture: Mayall taught Key how to be ‘God’s gift to your nation’. Key, an atheist, mucked up the gesture.

 

The Key B’Stard Project

Following Mayall’s sudden death after a jog, a former chief economist at Chase Manhattan Bank informed an up-start news outlet from far-flung New Zealand, Snoopman News, that New Zealand’s current prime minister had at one time been friends with Rik Mayall. Snoopman News immediately deployed two journalists, one to interview the source of the tip-off, Professor Michael Hudson from the University of Missouri, and another to interview New Zealand’s prime minister, John Key.

At first Key was cagey about his relationship with Rik Mayall, but fortunately the reporter, Sophia Bigg-Storm, anticipated the prime minister’s famous defence mechanisms. Being part-Amazonian, her native people gave her a gift so precious, most reporters would kill for it: Wonder Women’s Lasso of Truth.

Bigg-Storm mentioned to Key that she was part Amazonian. Key’s replied in all seriousness, “Midas, I always wanted to go there!” Having distracted the prime minister with the male fantasy of being holed up on an island inhabited exclusively by gorgeous women, Bigg-Storm left her cleavage unguarded for gorkelling, providing further distraction so that the intrepid reporter could slip the Lasso of Truth over the prime minister’s head, before his skull-encased brain knew what was happening.

When Key said, “You got a great rack”, Bigg-Storm knew the lasso worked.

Honest John: Under the influence of Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

Honest John: Under the influence of Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

Under the influence of the Lasso of Truth, John Key divulged that he and his wife, Bronagh, shared Christmas Eve of 1995 with Rik Mayall and his wife, Barbara. The Mayall’s gave John a magic wand, and Bronagh, a magic broom. The Key’s did not realize they were real and thought it was “just funny.”

Rik Mayall teased John Key saying, “it’s what every banker secretly wishes for, the power to conjure money in every land out of annoyingly thin air.” The English comedian had assumed that the investment banker was a financial wizard, of the magical kind.

When Rik Mayall realized John Key was just a muggle, he resolved to mentor the banker in the Dark Art of Wizard Bastardry. But, the only way for a wizard (or witch) to bestow muggles with wizard (or witch) powers that have no innate magical ability is to give them regular blood transfusions. Hence, ‘The Key B’Stard Project’, as the pair called it, required that they meet every week and use the time for tuition, while Key absorbed wizard blood.

 

Under the Influence of the Lasso of Truth

Under the tuition of Wizard Rik Mayall, John Key received what was essentially a post-graduate degree in dark magic. For three months they met at Mayall’s home, and then after that at the Leaky Cauldron tavern, 0n Daring Road, in London. Mayall had lent his Invisibility Cloak to Key so that he would not be seen entering or leaving his home or the tavern.

Spelling for Bad: Ex-Merrill Lynch Wizard Banker’s note book.

Spelling for Bad: Ex-Merrill Lynch Wizard Banker’s note book.

Mayall instructed Key to swat up on spells. The investment banker found himself fixated at first on the ones beginning with S, such as the Stealth Sensoring Spell, Specialis Revelio  and the classic Switching Spell. Key said he found himself “quite subconsciously” striking vertical lines “through each of the ‘S’s transforming them into dollar signs.”

“That’s was when I hit upon the idea of running the Muggle-Wizarding currency exchange unit at the goblin-run Gringotts Wizarding Bank”, the former Merrill Lynch banker said, smiling the assassin’s smile.

Mapping Fortunes: Merrill Lynch banker John Key dared to know Who’s Who in the Magical Realm and Muggles World That Goblin Bankers Must Not Name.

Mapping Fortunes: Merrill Lynch banker John Key dared to know Who’s Who in the Magical Realm and Muggles World That Goblin Bankers Must Not Name.

Because he knew the goblins would not let any human, especially a muggle, run Gringotts Wizarding Bank, he used the Specialis Revelio spell to gain the leverage he needed. Specialis Revelio, which wizards and witches use to reveal an objects secrets or magical properties, is Key’s favorite spell.

Merrill Lynch’s head of global foreign exchange was able to locate the financial claims to wealth not only hidden within the City of London’s financial district. Key was also able to track and tabulate the wealth stored in Gringotts Wizarding Bank and, most importantly, the biggest fortunes: Their Identities The Bankers Must Not Name To Whom They Belonged.

Not Just Fiction: Security camera footage of Gringotts Bank, City of London, released by the Ministry of Magic following an official information request.

Not Just Fiction: Security camera footage of Gringotts Bank, City of London, released by the Ministry of Magic following an official information request.

“I mapped the secret magical riches stashed in the enchanted City of London. As any Muggle cartographer will tell you, new maps of the world are valuable tools for conquest,” said Key gleefully.

Key got to run the Muggle-Wizarding currency exchange at Gringotts.

“The hilarious thing is you see this vast network of vaults and magic carts traveling on tracks depicted in the Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, and the world’s movie-going Muggles think it’s just fiction” said Key chuckling.

Tool of Conquest: Financial Wizard John Key used the Specialis Revelio spell to map Gringotts’ labyrinthine tunnel network below London’s financial district.

Tool of Conquest: Financial Wizard John Key used the Specialis Revelio spell to map Gringotts’ labyrinthine tunnel network below London’s financial district.

Under the influence of the Lasso of Truth, Key revealed that a Fraternity of Dark Capitalist Wizards evade taxes and move capital freely in the Muggles World. Indeed, they have constructed a Worldwide Financial Wizard Haven Complex that is sponsored by many Muggles states, including the United Kingdom and the United States. “Meanwhile, Muggles pay taxes”, said Key.

These Financial Wizard Havens have sprung up wherever there was a goblin bank. “That’s what the Global Financial Crisis of 2008 was really about”, said Key. “There’s a financial war going on between goblins and financial wizards for control of the banks, and in-turn to control whole societies through debt. The wizards working with the light side of the force are trying to stop it”, said Key, matter-of-factly. But, because events behind ‘the news’ are controlled by highly-networked Dark Wizard Satirists, Muggle journalists, editors and current affairs hosts fail to realize the extent to which their attempts to inform the vegged-out Muggle populations are undermined.

B’Stard Hand Gestures: Interjecting in an interview to reiterate you are right, often, gets you safely through to the ads. In these studio interviews, is Rik Mayall as Alan B’Stard (left), points the ‘finger of blame’; and John ‘Hold-on’ Key as Himself (right, always).

B’Stard Hand Gestures: Interrupting to reiterate being right, often, gets bastards safely through to the ads. In these studio interviews, is Rik Mayall as Alan B’Stard (left), points the ‘finger of blame’; and John ‘Hold-on’ Key as Himself (right, always).

 

Borrowing from a Foreign Pixie

In January 2011, when John Key announced selling state-owned assets, including four power companies, the justification that he provided was that New Zealand was borrowing $300 million a week from a ‘foreign pixie’. When pressed about why a government lacks the sovereign power to make its own money debt-free, Key said, “the cover story is that politicians would just print too much money and thereby make the currency worthless.”

But, he said cheerfully that what the Global Credit Boom of 1991 to 2007 really showed was that a Fraternity of Dark Wizard and Witch Bankers had done exactly that and when the boom turned to bust, they simply burdened tax-paying Muggles with the bill.

“”The truth is,” said Key, “a Fraternity of Dark Wizard and Witch Bankers has gained control over almost every nation through wars and terrorism, and other forms of coercion, including financial and economic warfare. This Fraternity of Dark Capitalist Wizards, of which I am one, have always been superior central planners than anything the communist Muggles states have been able to pathetically conjure. We call our methods of military violence, covert terrorism and coercion, the Shock Doctrine.”

Shock Treatments: Military violence, economic warfare and propaganda are required to spread the ‘economic medicine’ of ‘free markets’.

Shock Treatments: Military violence, economic warfare and propaganda are required to spread the ‘economic medicine’ of ‘free markets’.

While bound to be honest by the power of the enchanted golden chord, John Key said it was remarkable that Muggles everywhere had failed to gain back most of their ancestral lands lost over centuries of conquest by the Dark Wizards. He said, “Muggles are such suckers for war propaganda that they’ve come to believe war is a part of human nature. Really?” Key said chuckling, for rhetorical effect. “If war is just a part of human nature, then how come Hitler had to shout so hard?” he guffawed.

“Through these various kinds of warfare,” Key continued once his assassin’s smile had regained control of his face, “the Dark Wizards and Witches have come to own vast tracts of land and control much of the rest collectively, under the construct of nation states, and other smaller and larger political units. By engineering these crises, these Dark Forces have accumulated enormous power, and they use it to ensure that cash in any economy is scarce”, smiling like as an assassin with an aesthetic taste for mayhem.

The ex-Wizard banker also disclosed that Wizard Bankers practicing the Dark Arts of Wizard Bastardry long ago “found a way to conjure magical money out of annoyingly thin air”, Key said. By this Key meant credit. “And because the Fraternity of Dark Wizards and Witches own most of the media,” New Zealand’s prime minister continued, “we can out produce pesky professors and professionals who try to expose what is essentially the framework for a debt-enslavement system.”

Mechanisms of Coercion: 63,000 rich and super-rich people possess $39 trillion in wealth, while 800 million people are starving.

Mechanisms of Coercion: 63,000 rich and super-rich people possess $39 trillion in wealth, while 800 million people are starving.

“Common words associated with banking such as ‘loans’, ‘lending’ and ‘borrower’, are used as marketing tools to deceive the Muggles populace,” explained New Zealand’s prime minister, as though somewhere deep inside it was paining him to ‘unpeel’ this layer of the ‘banking onion’. “Banks don’t actually lend the money they receive as deposits.”

“Only gullible Muggles would be stupid enough to think that the loans they take out with banks are actually the funds of other people’s savings. In fact, credit is just funds borrowed into existence,” he said chuckling under the magically-enchanted Lasso of Truth. Where before, Key pretended to care when he had been questioned over important issues like ‘child poverty’, and agreed that the houses that poor people lived in could be better insulated (NewStatesman Editor’s Note: It is incredible that no one in New Zealand’s news media asked John Key where poor children would get the money to insulate their parents’ rented homes, especially as he rejected the idea of child welfare payments, which they could have used to fund the work. After all, his government is subsidizing landlords, who are the beneficiaries of over a billion dollars a year, for charging too much rent. Indeed, the NewStatesman notes that the ‘debate’ on ‘child poverty’ would be over if New Zealand’s media stopped ‘naming the victim’ and called the issue by its correct name, ‘greedy grown-ups’).

Key explained that banks use most of the money they receive as deposits “to buy interest-bearing treasury securities, corporate bonds and other financial instruments, like shares.”

The ex-Wizard banker also revealed that Dark Wizards use the Stupefying Spell on all loan contracts, credit cards and associated advertising.”

Greedy B’Stards: Alan B’Stard enjoyed cash, while wizard banker John Key used magic to conjure credit.

Greedy B’Stards: Alan B’Stard enjoyed cash, while wizard banker John Key used magic to conjure credit.

It seems that bankers from the Magical Realm are sticklers for balancing the books, as far as it suits them. Forests of money trees grow wherever real forests of the Muggles World have been destroyed by Muggles for economic gain (often under a spell). Furthermore, if a wizard banker desires to gain more wealth in the Wizard World, it is crucial that he possesses a Money Tree Wand that is made of wood from the same land to be exploited. Such wands also have to be made in the same land the wood came from too.

Not surprisingly, in the circumstances, John Key possesses a Money Tree Wand, made of Kauri wood, that he cut from a young sapling growing under a great Kauri tree called Tāne Mahuta, that lives in the far north of New Zealand. In addition to exploiting a land for economic gain, and the power that confers, Money Tree Wands can be used for all other spells.

Banker’s Best Friend: John Key’s kauri wood Money Tree Wand for magicking money into existence.

Banker’s Best Friend: John Key’s kauri wood Money Tree Wand for magicking money into existence.

 

A Wizards’ Falling Out

It turns out that the last time John Key saw Rik Mayall was shortly after the English comedian had his alleged quad bike accident in April 1998, an accident that fractured his skull. But, John Key divulged that Mayall fell from his broomstick, because the young dark wizard banker stiff-armed the comedian who gave chase because Key threatened to blow up his house.

Mayall and Key had an altercation one morning when Key was flying on Bronagh’s broomstick to work following the Thames River, under the cover of Mayall’s Invisibility Cloak. Mayall was furious with Key when he found out that the Anglo-American Dark Wizards of Banking had caused the Asian Financial Crisis that started in 1997.

“He could see that such a criminal group, if left at-large, would plot bigger and bolder power crimes”, said Key. Mayall wanted Key to blow the whistle. As they flew at speed under London Bridge as it was being raised to allow a ship to pass through, Key said, “Look Rik, it’s not going to happen. I’m making fuckloads of money, beyond my darkest happy dreams. And besides, its fun watching Muggles struggle up here from Bronagh’s broomstick.”

Broom Chase: Rik Mayall pursued John Key as they rode magic brooms at high speed under Tower Bridge, London, while arguing about financial wizardry.

Broom-stick Chase: Rik Mayall pursued John Key as they rode magic brooms at high speed under Tower Bridge, London, while arguing about financial wizardry.

Key said he could tell Mayall was going to keep following him to work and make a scene. Merrill was deep in Dark Financial Wizardry like the rest of the Dark Wizards’ global banking cartel.

Then the chase was on to the Mayall’s house and the English comedian attempted to zap his prodigee with attack spells. Although Bronagh’s broomstick was faster than Mayall’s, Key said he could only avoid the comedian “unfunny zaps” for so long. When Key was near Mayall’s house, he stopped abruptly in mid-air, jolted his arm out and braced himself for the impact.

But, whether through cunning, indifference or forgetfulness, Mayall had failed to tell Key there was one draw-back to being a Muggle without any innate magical ability that is mentored to become a wizard or witch. Mayall did not tell Key that if a mentor wizard dies, a muggle who has received wizard blood, because of the established lack of natural magical powers, will steadily lose magical strength.

“As soon as Rik hit the ground I lost control of Bronagh’s broom. I crashed into a pond”, said Key.

Key gave Mayall blood transfusions covertly during the night under the watchful eye of two great light-working wizards, Dumbledore and Gandalf. Throughout these visits, Key smiled and that is how he became known as the ‘smiling assassin’.

Smarmy Statesmen: Mayall found showing Key how to smile smarmily was the easiest thing to teach the banker. It became later known as the ‘smiling assassin’ smile, ostensibly because he smiled when firing hundreds of his staff.

Smarmy Statesmen: Mayall found showing Key how to smile smarmily was the easiest thing to teach the banker. It became later known as the ‘smiling assassin’ smile, ostensibly because he smiled when firing hundreds of his staff.

It was during this time when Mayall faced-off Death, with the help of Dumbledore and Gandalf, that Merrill Lynch’s financial trading deals started to unravel. The bank blamed the Russian debt default of August 1998, as a result of the Asian financial contagion, but the real problem was Key’s charms failed during that crucial five day period when Mayall was in a coma. When word got out some months later that his nickname was the smiling assassin, Key said it just because he had smiled while he fired hundreds of staff and was the “last London manager standing.”

Since Rik Mayall died properly this time on June 9 2014, most of John Key’s powers have gone. The prime minister of Middle Earth, as New Zealand is also known, said the first to go are the attacking powers, and then eventually all the powers of defence. At interviews-end, Key performed a Reducio charm on himself with his kauri-wood Money Tree Wand, while holding onto a nearby door handle to his office. In a moment, Key shrank himself so small that he could stand on the door handle, and then he plunged and pulled himself into the keyhole and disappeared into the room.

Through his keyhole, he grumbled to be left alone because he needed to find another Dark Wizard to be his wizard blood donor. The parliamentary press gallery reporters that had gathered around and witnessed this interview appeared to be having a cognitive dissonance reaction, which commonly afflicts Muggles when they are confronted with information that conflicts with the darkly satirical news stories they are regularly fed by mainstream Muggle media outlets that the Dark Wizards control.

 

Wizards and Witches Wish for Mutiny

The Professor who provided the tip-off that Rik Mayall and John Key had a past together, Michael Hudson at the University of Missouri, said that many wizard and witches were preparing to whistle blow on the Dark Wizards and Witches that had enslaved the world in debt. The professor said, “what whistle blowers needed right now was the support of the public.” (He regards the term Muggles as derogatory).

Grizzly Gandalf: Great Wizard Gandalf was furious when he found out the Dark Wizard John Key had become Middle Earth’s political leader.

Grizzly Gandalf: Great Wizard Gandalf was furious when he found out the Dark Wizard John Key had become Middle Earth’s political leader.

Those Light-working Wizards and Witches, who have evidence to reveal, need to see a heightened interest in such power crimes from ordinary people.

Wizard Gandalf, who had once mentored Hudson, agreed saying, “My wish for Muggles and Hobbits all around the world is this: Be Revolting!”

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This satirical story is a tribute to Rik Mayall, a comic genius who inspired us all at Snoopman News to try to be funny everyday, even while we can’t forget that we are being fucked in arse by bankers, and mindful that too many vegged-out Muggles and Hobbits don’t know about the Dark Wizards to ‘give a shit’.

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Facebook: Snoopman News

Twitter: Snoop Monster @SnoopmanNews #KeyBStardProject

Saving a Famous Dying Friend

NZ Prime Minister John Key and Fightless Kiwi: Will Fightless Kiwi become a totally captured, docile ‘free market’ bird forever? Or will Fightless Kiwi evolve balls before it’s too late?

NZ Prime Minister John Key and Fightless Kiwi: Will Fightless Kiwi become a totally captured, docile ‘free market’ bird forever? Or will Fightless Kiwi evolve balls before it’s too late?

By Iggy Swind (With additional reporting from Sophia Bigg-Storm)

25 March 2014

 

Intensive care for a hapless ‘free market’ host population

A famous dying friend, Aotearoa (AKA New Zealand), dear to some, taken-for-granted by many, and mostly owned by one (Her Majesty the Queen AKA ‘the Crown’) has been diagnosed with TPPA cancer.

TPPA cancer is a particularly insidious form of cancer that develops a wealthy investor-friendly economic framework at the expense ordinary people, who become an exploited host population in the malignant phase. TPPA, or Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement for long, spreads through countries first via sponsored politicians, elite bureaucrats and corporate technocrats who meet in secret investor deal-making sessions behind closed doors.

Most doctors regard the TPPA cancer, which has spread to Australia, Brunei, Chile, Canada, Japan, Malaysia, Mexico, New Zealand, Peru, Singapore, the United States, and Vietnam, as terminal.

However, an emergency operation organized by an ‘umbrella’ activist group called It’s Our Future, will take place nationwide in Aotearoa this Saturday, March 29. Simultaneous rallies will occur in 17 towns and cities around ‘the country’, now often referred to as ‘the economy’, at 1PM.

According to many free-thinking scholars, journalists and activists, governments around the world are spreading numerous ‘free market’ cancers as ‘shock therapy treatments’ to discipline mass populaces to submit to the intensive care of a transnational capitalist class.

Associate professor of Law at Auckland University, Dr. Jane Kelsey said, “Armies of corporate professionals, sponsored politicians and elite technocrats are working on what is essentially a global neo-colonial cancer project – AKA globalization”.

Kelsey in Stereo: The activist scholar uses two mics here in an attempt to be doubly heard by the patriarchal mainstream media, well-known among grass-roots organizations for their perennially selective hearing.

Kelsey in Stereo: The activist scholar uses two mics here in an attempt to be doubly heard by the patriarchal mainstream media, well-known among grass-roots organizations for their perennially selective hearing.

‘Free market shock treatments’ initially included lifting financial controls to increase the fluidity of capital flows between countries, the corporatization and privatization of state infrastructure and services, the introduction of user charges, shifting the tax burden ‘downward’, and down-sizing public sector employment. In the wake of the global financial crisis of 2007 and 2008, cut-backs to public sector services were justified with the euphemistic term ‘austerity measures’.

But, like prior ‘free market shock treatments’ since the mid-1970s, key insiders had engineered financial and economic crises as coercive mechanisms to privatize state assets at fire sale prices, when targeted populations were overwhelmed with the sudden, far-reaching economic shocks.

“It’s an ‘economic health’ war inflicted by oligarchs, or the super-rich”, said Dr. Kelsey. “The oligarchs of the transnational capitalist class use ‘shock therapy’ to ensure their domination over the planet’s host populations are permanent.”

According to Dr. Kelsey, these ‘shock therapy treatments’ are deployed with an austerity injection known as New Constitutionalism 3.0, which seeks to expand markets by locking in the changes within supra-national jurisdictions, thereby restricting the democratic participation of the nationally-based host populations.

“What Fightless Kiwis don’t realize is that the New Constitutionalism 3.0 Austerity Injection is embedded into the strategy to spread the Trans-Pacific Partnership Agreement cancer,” said the Auckland University law professor.

“In a nut-shell, New Constitutionalism 3.0 is a 3rd generation cellular vector that changes the constitution of the host population, who become more and more constipated as they are force-fed public relations Newspeak, slick corporate marketing and ‘freedom’ propaganda to mask-over a dry diet of artificial political substance abuse,” Kesley added with a wry smirk.

It’s this constipation that makes the host population vulnerable to ‘free market’ era cancers like TPPA, says Dr. Kelsey.

“In other words,” explained the activist scholar as we boarded a chopper in the city of Hamilton in New Zealand’s North Island, where she had been attending a logistics meeting for the nationwide rallies, “governments are transferring a level of sovereign power to a global investment class who are gaining a commercialized form of sovereignty.”

New Zealand Prime Minister John Key stated glibly, “I’m not worried about trading away a very small amount of sovereignty.” But, then as he thought of himself, he said grinning, “With a net worth of $50 million, I stand to make fuckloads of bucks from the new investment opportunities that will come once we dismantle pesky legislation that protects whining workforces, complaining consumers, and nancy nature.”

Between co-organizing the 17 rallies taking place around Aotearoa under the banner of It’s Our Future, Dr. Kelsey has a busy schedule teaching law to students at both introductory and post-graduate levels.

Over the helicopter coms, the long-time activist-scholar continued, “With their new commercial rights, wealthy investors will be able to sue governments in secret supra-national tribunals if the host populations attempt to keep protections for labour, human and indigenous rights in place. Under the TPPA, wealthy investors will also be able to use the secret tribunals to roll-back environment, commercial and social justice laws.”

 

Shock Treatment for TTPA Cancer

Dr. Kelsey says active treatment of public protest, community education and strident media debate can send the TPPA cancer into remission, or kill it off entirely.

As Prime Minister Key stabbed a roast kiwi with a fork at a business breakfast sponsored by the ANZ bank, he scoffed at plans of counter-treatment for TPPA-cancer saying they were, “just more silly socialist intervention”.

SsshhHH! New Zealand Prime Minister John Key signals to the news media to keep docile Kiwis emotionally distracted with personal tragedies, fraudsters and celebrity spats.

SsshhHH! New Zealand Prime Minister John Key signals to the news media to keep docile Kiwis emotionally distracted with personal tragedies, fraudsters and celebrity spats.

Cutting into the dead bird’s fleshy breast, Key added, “Look, my advice to hard-working Kiwi families is the same as what I gave on TV3′s breakfast news during the TPPA conference held at the Sky City Convention Centre in December 2012 – ‘Ignore the protestors’.”

“The trouble is”, says Dr. Kelsey as her eyes went cross-eyed to mock Key’s distaste for free-range Kiwi dissent, “Aotearoa is populated with anti-protest bodies known as Fightless Kiwis that compromise the effectiveness of Aotearoa’s immune system. So, when Fightless Kiwis hear John Key say ‘Ignore the protestors’, they obey as if the prime minister has ‘Simon Says Powers’ and re-act out old irrational fear scenes from their formative years and ‘think’ that if they listen to reasoned dissent, there will be economic hardship. Why? Because ‘free market’ capitalists, with their ‘Simon Says Powers’ amplified by the news media, have everyone believing there’s no other way to organize society.”

As Key ripped the wings off the roasted iconic native flightless bird on a china plate made in Taiwan, he added, “It’s better for the ruling class if hard-working Kiwis keep their apathetic bums up and their beaky noses at the leafy worm-litter face. If mass mobilizations occur, democracy’s aging bones begin to creak and it makes my job harder to say on More FM, we have an aviandate to spread TPPA-cancer called the Forest & Bird Election.”

According to Dr. Kelsey, Fightless Kiwis are easily identifiable by their temerity in business, but when it comes to participating in the political life of New Zealand society, they lack belief in themselves and one other to question ruling class agendas.

“When we ‘agents of change’ try to talk to Fightless Kiwis, say at barbeques or wakes, about challenging the status quo”, said Dr. Kelsey, “or being involved in paradigm-changing community projects that build in resilience to transition to a self-determining society, they go silent. You can almost see the life go out of their eyes and their faces say ‘Nup’ without a word passing their lips. It’s amazing and frustrating to witness.”

As the chopper followed State Highway One to the New Zealand economy’s agglomerated ‘Super City’, Auckland, a route that was originally built as a military road to wage a racist war to steal land from the native Maori population in the 1860s, Dr. Kelsey explained the typical conditioned behaviours of Fightless Kiwis after three decades of ‘free market’ consumerism. “The only things Fightless Kiwis believe in are what the woolyvision distracts them with. One minute, they want CokeVBull, nec minute XStationPlayBox. And nec minute, when they think they’ve grown up, they think Key DotCliffe will be the answer to all their vague thoughts about their needs, rights and aspirations.”

“It’s telling that most Fightless Kiwis haven’t even heard of the TPPA cancer,” yelled Dr. Kelsey as we jumped out of the chopper at 500 feet without parachutes to save time.

Dr. Kelsey was cutting it fine to give a lecture. As she ran for the Intellectual Property Lecture Complex at Auckland University, I asked Dr. Kelsey if she had any last requests to make of Fightless Kiwi anti-protest bodies.

She sighed, and said, “For what it’s worth, please help me save a famous dying friend, Aotearoa, by getting your systemically apathetic feathered rumps onto the streets with signs that show you know what’s at stake before you become Caged-raised Kiwi Steak.

=====================================================

Iggy Swind has worked alongside reporter Clark Kent at the Daily Planet and photojournalist Peter Parker at the Daily Bugle. Swind investigations proved both super-heroes work undercover for the Hollywood media cartel to distract their mass audiences with their mediocre ‘saving the world’ sagas, leaving those that run the world at-large. Those investigations have been suppressed.

American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominant the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues. Her sleuth-work was supported by William Engdahl, author of works such as, Gods of Money and A Century of War; and also by Guido Giacomo Preparata, who wrote Conjuring Hitler. Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer.

=====================================================

Code Purple: Whistle Blowing on ‘Free markets’, the ‘Shock Doctrine’ and ‘New Constitutionalism’

Under the rubric of ‘free market’ globalization, a transnational capitalist class is transforming the world. Snoopman investigates a black-hole that the world’s media missionaries fear to voyage to. Our intrepid editor finds out why and how the world’s key oligarchs, or the super-rich, are directing a covert global neo-colonial project.

Vive la Revolution! Snoopman calls upon the world’s ordinary people to dismantle the global neo-colonial project (AKA globalization).

Vive la Revolution! Snoopman calls upon the world’s ordinary people to dismantle the global neo-colonial project (AKA globalization).

Directions for Use: We take the reader on a perilous journey involving time-travel in an effort to understand a black hole unexplored by the world’s major news outlets. Its dark matter, known to space physicists as historical context plasma, is frequently manipulated by news media organizations when they convey its barest atomic structure. We advise an open-mind, ambient music and a beverage.

Rated: Sarcasm 30. In a 3-2 decision, the Board of Newsprint, Broadcast and Internet Censors viewed this content as primarily factual, with moderate levels of sarcasm. It is recommended for an open-minded audience aged 30 and over, or for closed-minded, juvenile audiences supervised by trained adults. The dissenting minority view, regarded the content as satire with factual merit and recommended it only for audiences comprising 99%’ers, aged 33 and over. (Newsprint, Broadcast and Internet Censors Classifications Act of 2002)

By Snoopman, 10 March 2014

 

Detecting ‘free market’ era ‘thoughtcrimes’

Today, ‘free markets’ are still promoted with a positive image by many of the world’s major media outlets, prestigious business schools and dominant governments. This promotion continues despite the fact that the world’s richest people have accumulated vast fortunes, at a time when the majority of people are burdened with economic poverty. For example, in their “Wealth Report 2012,” Knight Frank and Citi Private Bank found that the world’s richest minority population, with a net worth of $100 million or more, called centa-millionaires, numbered 63,000 and possessed $39.9 trillion in wealth.[1] They come in various pigmentations. Mostly, they are white, male and bald, and were last seen leaving posh restaurants everywhere.

A rich, bald mans’ world: 63,000 centa-millionaires possess $40 trilllion in wealth, while 800 million people starve.

A rich, bald mans’ world: 63,000 centa-millionaires possess $40 trilllion in wealth, while 800 million people starve.

Amid this opulence, Raj Patel showed in Stuffed and Starved that there are 800 million starving people, partly because they are so poor.[2] But, mostly malnutrition and starvation continues unabated because the world food system is controlled by transnationalized cartels of corporations that dominate food production, distribution, marketing and its finance. This fact alone ought to alert to us that through capitalism’s 950-year history,[3] people have been steadily dispossessed of land and, therefore, stripped of the capacity to maintain their own economic systems.

In present era of transnational capitalism, the ‘free-market’ economic model is often associated with ‘free trade’ agreements between countries or groups of nations, innovative solutions and more consumer choice.

News stories typically emphasize that ‘free markets’ reduce red-coloured tape. This depiction works as a short-hand to signal that ‘evil’ communist tendencies of excessive, expensive and inefficient bureaucracy have been overcome. The world’s major media outlets also regularly air or publish stories that valourize technological breakthroughs engineered by teams of happily eager, professional geniuses. Such glowing treatments essentially market the developments of ‘the market economy’ with no cost to the corporations featured. Additionally, news anchors almost audibly breathe a collective sigh of relief that there is no need to put up with the scratchy old film and washed-out glitchy video-tape days, when autocratic states dictated how public enterprises should mass produce the same single product line over many shivery cold decades, for everyone.

In light of the sarcastic twist that this article has just been given, would you still expect that ‘free markets’ and the key insiders and institutions that favour them, to really deserve positive reputations? To answer this question, we need to journey back to the field-testing stage of ‘free markets’ to reveal the core, unacknowledged ‘thoughtcrimes’ that underpin the ideology that was used to promote this ‘economic’ framework: neoliberalism.

To make sense of the phenomena that we will likely encounter on this journey, which will start in the olden days of the mid-1960s to the mid-1970s, we need to pack a dictionary.

Room 101: At the end of Nineteen Eighty-four, George Orwell provides additional explanation of the workings of his dystopian world and a dictionary for the new official cleansed language, Newspeak. These appendices are best read first.

Room 101: At the end of Nineteen Eighty-four, George Orwell provides additional explanation of the workings of his dystopian world and a dictionary for the new official cleansed language, Newspeak. These appendices are best read first.

The word thoughtcrime is familiar to old-fashioned people who still read books and in this case, novelist George Orwell’s 1949 book, Nineteen Eighty-Four.[4] The novel is set in the dystopian world of Airstrip One (formerly England), which is a province of Oceania, one of three super-states. In Oceania, a thoughtcrime is the criminal act of holding unspoken beliefs or doubts that oppose or question the Party, which is a totalitarian group that controls the political, economic and cultural resources of the super-state on behalf of unseen oligarchs. In today’s ‘free market’ era, ‘thoughtcrimes’ are rising despite efforts in thought control, conscious or otherwise, by missionaries of the global media.

Scholars and independent-minded journalists (or ‘thought criminals’) who are critical of the cover story used to market ‘free markets’ have identified its underlying ideological construct, called neoliberalism. As a packaged set of claims, neoliberal ideology differed from its former incarnation, liberalism in one major respect. Exponents of liberalism in the coal-smoke filled days of the nineteenth century promoted the idea that individuals were inherently good, while maintaining a negative view of society, and claimed musket and canon-weilding states were even worse, because they existed to coerce individuals, communities and institutions.[5]

While neoliberalism reinvigorated these beliefs in the exhaust-fume days in the late 1970s (and throughout the 1980s), it did so with a woeful depiction of how the Welfare State had become an unbearable financial burden on societies all over the world.[6] Ostensibly, the Welfare State had been instituted as a necessity to relieve the deprivation wrought upon societies by the wealthy by means of the Great Depression. In the United States, it worked as a way to formally consolidate a citizenry of state citizens into one political unit, as federalized American citizens, through the Social Security System.[7]

Of course, the key insiders behind the promotion of neoliberalism did not reveal that this prior episode of economic warfare was the result of an orchestrated financial boom in the 1920s. If it had become widely known that key Wall Street and London banks had pursued a callous strategy to consolidate their banking and industrial holdings following the inevitable bursting of the financial bubble in 1929, people would have questioned how numerous financial crises since 1970 had really occurred. [8]

Time-travelling to the black hole the Global Media Complex are too scared to investigate

Which one of these things isn’t quite like the others? Counter-clockwise: Star Trek‘s tele-transportation portal; Dr. Who‘s Tardis; an old school time machine in The Time Machine; or, George Orwell’s novel Nineteen Eighty-four?

Which one of these things isn’t quite like the others? Counter-clockwise: Star Trek‘s tele-transportation portal; Dr. Who’s Tardis; an old school time machine in The Time Machine; or, George Orwell’s novel Nineteen Eighty-four?

The truth is, the world’s major news outlets, or the Global Media Complex, will not explore the ‘black hole’ mentioned in the ‘directions for use’ above. They will not even take the perilous journey involving time-travel, even though the swish gadgetry distracts the mind from the danger. Even if they had space physicists to call upon, the major media outlets still would not investigate this black hole. Our imaginary space physicists have called this black hole the Great Milky Way Memory Hole and have determined it is comprised of dense historical context plasma.

To help manufacture consent, Planet Earth’s public was sold the made-for-media catch-phrase – the ‘trickle-down effect.’ This wryly encoded promise – that the benefits would materialize for the world’s public – was predicated on the notion that the rich were needed in order for societies to prosper. Thus, some of the wealth of the rich – under the proposed ‘free-market reforms’ or ‘shock treatments’ – would ‘trickle down’ to society at-large.

As with dripping taps, the amount and interval would be regulated by the market’s ‘Invisible Hand’, which was a euphemism for an oligarchy and their army of unseen professionals, who have constructed a Worldwide Financial-secrecy Haven Complex. Oligarchs are super-rich people who use their enormous wealth to influence the politics of society.[9] At the superficial level, news outlets manufactured the idea that in a ‘free market’ system, where government intervention was prevented, the Invisible Hand would price goods and services efficiently through rigorous competition.

Caught blue-handed! An Invisible Hand captured by infra-green photography renders the ‘shadow-selves’ of the transnational capitalist class invisible.

Caught blue-handed! An Invisible Hand, captured by infra-green photography, renders the ‘shadow-selves’ of the transnational capitalist class invisible.

However, a highly-networked North Atlantic capitalist class used private political mechanisms to ensure that wealth accumulated upward, so that there was only just enough income trickling-down to avert rebellion. Meanwhile, fees for ‘public’ services increased, even as the universal tax system remained in place.

As such, this article’s title, ‘Code Purple’, signals an emergency. Since the mid-1970s, the North Atlantic capitalist class (now transnational in scope) has pursued a global neo-colonial project, by stealth. Under this project, ‘free markets’ were promoted with propaganda that promised freedom and prosperity for all. As numerous investigators have shown, such as Alistair Barry (1996);[10] Bryan Bruce (2013);[11] Michel Chossudovsky (2003);[12] Steve Edwards (2012);[13] Jane Kelsey (1997);[14] Naomi Klein (2007);[15] and Michael Rowbotham (1998);[16] neither of these promises have eventuated. The intention of the super-rich all along was to increase their wealth and power, and, in the process, address a number of crises that emerged in the late 1960s.

One major crisis was a crisis of declining profits rates for transnational corporations.[17] A second major crisis was the ‘counter-cultural revolution’ that appeared in the 1960s.[18] A third major crisis occurred at this time when the perpetually ‘developing’ countries demanded Western technology so they could ‘develop’, as a ‘fair trade’ for having supplied the raw materials for the ‘long post-war boom’.[19] The North Atlantic capitalist class regarded these last two crises as an affront to their perceived right to permanently rule the planet.[20]

The Shock Doctrine

The North Atlantic capitalist class embarked on a ‘war of position’, as William Carroll reported in his book, The Making of a Transnational Capital Class.[21] To ensure they won this ‘war of position’, or an ideological ‘battle of ideas’,[22] the neoliberal movement followed a stratagem espoused by the sect’s leading proponent Milton Friedman, a professor of Economics at the University of Chicago. Friedman favoured a ‘shock therapy’ approach, as encapsulated by his mantra: “speed, suddenness and scope”.[23]

‘Free market shock treatments’ included lifting financial controls to increase the fluidity of capital flows between countries, the corporatization and privatization of state infrastructure and services, the introduction of user charges, shifting the tax burden ‘downward’, and down-sizing public sector employment.[24] Targeted populations were overwhelmed with the economic shocks as whole sectors of society were transformed and coerced to support the new framework. In this way, a structured set of ‘new enclosures’ were designed to absorb the needs, values and aspirations of pesky, disobedient, ordinary mortals.

The Shock Doctrine is the denied part of the global neo-colonial project. During the field-testing stage of ‘free markets’ in the mid-1960s to mid-1970s, US-backed terrorism was required to clear opposition for the ‘free market economic shock treatments’ that followed. Five countries – Brazil, Indonesia, Chile, Uruguay and Argentina – pursued a developmentalist economic framework and were all subjected to military juntas and/or CIA-backed coups.[25] The free market economic shock therapies were themselves mechanisms of coercion, because all sectors of society were thrown into crisis. Everyone suffered, except key insiders, who became richer and accumulated more political power.

Shock Treatments: Embedded in the ‘free market’ economic framework is the exploitation of “speed, suddenness and scope”.

Shock Treatments: Embedded in the ‘free market’ economic framework is the exploitation of “speed, suddenness and scope”.

Beginning in the early 1970s, a blueprint to transform the world with a ‘free market’ framework called the ’1980s Project’ included stratagems to undermine democracy and the counter-cultural movements that emerged in the 60s.[26] Elite planners resolved to encourage political apathy, as ‘governance crisis’ literature of this period makes evident.[27] From their perspective, there was a ‘Crisis of Democracy’ because there was too much participation from ‘below’. The 1980s Project, which was sponsored by a New York-based global policy shaping think tank, the Council on Foreign Relations, sought to preserve as far as possible the dominance of a Trilateral World, which was the United States, Europe and Japan.

Forty years on, so-called ‘free and open societies’ typically have a ‘Look, Don’t Touch’ democracy, wherein systemic political apathy has taken root. As is made clear in Naomi Klein’s book, The Shock Doctrine (2007); in Noam Chomsky’s book Failed States (2006);[28] and Eugene Jarecki’s documentary Why We Fight (2006),[29] the United States continues to use military violence, or terrorism, to deliver the ‘freedom’ of ‘free markets.’ This situation has been sustained by excellent satirist-generated propaganda posing as news (reproduced by the Global Media Complex), which keeps a significant fraction of the population confused, misinformed and naïve, while conditioning them to believe they are well-informed.

Ignorance is Strength? Global Media Missionaries valourize distraction as a virtue.

Disturbingly, American journalist Chris Hedges has reported a corporate totalitarian core that thrives inside a fictitious democratic shell.[30] This core yields an inverted totalitarian state that few recognize because it does not look like the Orwellian world of Nineteen Eighty-four. This corporate totalitarian core is spreading outward from America. In essence, a corporatized totalitarianism is driving the construction of a worldwide technocratic system.[31]

A technocracy is an economic system that exploits technology as a means of social control through the allocation of energy and resources rather than the market price system of cartelized monopoly capitalism.[32] The construction of this global superstructure was embedded into the “1980’s Project”.

Exponents of free markets disparaged the Welfare State as centralized planning, with obvious reference to communist states. Meanwhile, the 1980’s Project Blueprint for ‘free markets’ simply re-versioned trade-quotas with new technocratic parameters driven by cartels of transnational banking, industrial and communications corporations.

Financial crises were used by a global banking cartel as ‘change mechanisms’ to coerce governments to implement these re-versioned trade quota systems under the auspices of ‘free markets’.[33] This highly centralized form of coercion, known as ‘speed politics’, had the intention of overwhelming the resistance of nation state populaces, while accelerating the implementation of technologies to build the new world technocratic order. In other words, financial discipline was embedded into the new technocratic systems to ensure entrenchment of vast cartelized transnational corporations and the permanent supremacy of a transnational capitalist class.[34]

‘Royalizing’ commercial sovereignty

To ensure the durability of the global neo-colonial project, elite planners used a strategy known as new constitutionalism, which was designed to lock-in changes and take them beyond the reach of indigenous and nation state immigrant-settler populations.[35] Under a new constitutionalism framework, nation state sovereignty is transformed into a commercialized form of sovereign rule-making that occurs in an international arena.[36] The intention is to favour the property rights of the super-rich, whose wealth is protected in a state-sponsored, worldwide Financial Secrecy Haven Complex.[37] Ironically, within such secret spaces, the politically and economically powerful can create shadow selves that exploit labyrinthine trusts, shell corporations and private banks. With jurisdictional protection constructed by the four major accountancy firms, and a myriad of conspiring law firms and major banks, the worldwide Financial Secrecy Haven Complex works as an effective super-weapon to wage global-scale economic warfare.

Because key insiders from the world’s major and significant governments are involved in this project to ‘royalize’ the transnational capitalist class, we cannot call the authorities for help. Hence, the term, ‘Code Purple’, since the colour purple signifies royalty. Where once cheesy over-simplified emergency red alerts were limited to children’s TV programs, in the likes of The Thunderbirds, since 9/11, elevated terror threats have become embedded in the American peoples’ consciousness through the use of televised colour-coded warnings. Such terror alerts mask the military violence used to spread ‘free markets’ by the world’s major and significant powers, including USA America.

Code Purple:  Cheesy colour-coded terror alerts like those seen on The Thunderbirds became commonplace on USA American TV news after 9/11.

Code Purple: Cheesy colour-coded terror alerts like those seen on The Thunderbirds became commonplace on USA American TV news after 9/11.

If it becomes common knowledge that key power institutions have been manufacturing consent for projects that have a hidden purpose, societies would rightly revolt against the authorities. Mutiny in public and private institutions has become necessary to ensure that key insiders who have conspired and colluded to gain more political power and economic wealth, respectively, are redeployed to those institutions most suited to their words, deeds and ethos: the prisons of the world’s Incarceration Complex.

It is also crucial that land reform occurs on a mass scale, because without the redistribution of vast tracts of land held by the minority super-rich populations or oligarchies, communities the world-over will lack the economic means to pursue politically decentralized, self-determining communities.[38] Mass land reform will require a global-scale, organic, peaceful revolution. As Jeffrey Winters observed while researching his book Oligarchy, oligarchs have been remarkably resilient over millennia to avert mass land reform.[39]

Why this revolution will not be televised

Code Purple Alert! Share the spirit of Vive la Revolution! far and wide ;-)

Code Purple Alert! Share the spirit of Vive la Revolution! far and wide 😉

Don’t expect to catch-out reporters, news anchors and editors from the world’s major media outlets admitting that they had gotten it so wrong all along. That is, perhaps, until the revolution’s success has not simply become inevitable, but is accomplished. Stage one of the revolution I am writing about is the most crucial ever attempted outside human history.

It is the mutiny happening in small subtle ways in your mind. It is the rebellion against your conditioned world-view.

This revolution is one that will not be televised. Not simply because it is too private for the US National Security Agency to pry into. Rather, it is too dangerous to broadcast, lest others become curious, spontaneous and emboldened to rebel too.

The truth is, the world’s major news outlets fear the dark matter known to imaginary space physicists as historical context plasma.

The new missionaries of global capitalism also fear the idea of mass populaces opening their minds to new fun-loving creativity, gracious dignified community-building work and compassionate loving acts of rebellion. They are also uninterested in its promotion because the formative moments of such personal journeys are problematic to film for tele!

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By day, Snoopman works undercover as an ordinary mortal, editing news at a television station. By night, Snoopman researches the wicked deeds of the powerful, and is Editor-in-Chief at Snoopman News. (See Snoopman News for sourced references)


[1] Knight Frank & Citi Private Bank (2012). The Wealth Report 2012: A global perspective on prime property and weath. Knight Frank LLP & Citi Private Bank, Citigroup Inc. p. 9-10. Retrieved from http://www.thewealthreport.net/The-Wealth-Report-2012.pdf

[2] Pattel, Raj. (2013). Stuffed and Starved: From Farm to Fork – The Hidden Battle for the World Food System. Portobello Books.

[3] Quigley, C. (1966). Tragedy and Hope: A History of the World in Our Time, p.37. New York, NY: The Macmillan Company.

[4] Orwell, G. (1993). Nineteen Eighty-Four (5th ed.). London, England: Compact Books. (Original work published 1949).

[5] Quigley. C. 1966: 25.

[6] Kelsey, Jane. (1995). The New Zealand Experiment: A World Model for Structural Adjustment? Pluto Press.

[7] Brobst , L. & Beddoe, A. F. (1991). U.S.A. the Republic, is the house that no one lives in. Retrieved February 10, 2011, from http://www.usa-the-republic.com/Lee_Brobst/usa.html#communalism

[8] 395 financial crises occurred between 1970 and 2007. See: Laevan, L. & Valencia, F. (2008). Systemic banking crises: A new database (IMF Working Paper No. WP/08/224). Retrieved from International Monetary Fund website: http://www.imf.org/external/index.htm

[9] Winters, J. A. (2011). Oligarchy. New York: Cambridge University Press.

[10] Barry, Alistair. (Director & Writer). (1996). Someone Else’s Country [Motion Picture]. Vanguard Films. Retrieved from http://www.nzonscreen.com/title/someone-elses-country-1996

[11] Bruce, B. (Director & Writer). (2013). Mind The Gap: A Special Report on Inequality [Motion Picture]. Red Sky Television. Retrieved from http://www.tv3.co.nz/INSIDE-NEW-ZEALAND-Mind-The-Gap/tabid/3692/articleID/94816/MCat/3061/Default.aspx

[12] Chossudovsky, M. (2003). The Globalization of Poverty and the New World Order (2nd ed.). Montréal, Canada: Global Research Publishers.

[13] Edwards, Steve. (2013). It’s the Financial Oligarchy, Stupid: A study of Anglo-American news coverage during the 2007-2008 financial crisis and bank bailouts. AUT University. Retrieved from http://aut.researchgateway.ac.nz/handle/10292/5536

[14] Kelsey, Jane. (1995). The New Zealand Experiment.

[15] Klein, Naomi. (2007). The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism. Camberwell, Australia: Penguin Books.

[16] Rowbotham, M. (1998). The Grip of Death: A Study of Modern Money, Debt Slavery and Destructive Economics. Charlbury, England: Jon Carpenter.

[17] Chossudovsky, M. (2010a). The Global economic crisis: An overview. In M. Chossudovsky & A. G. Marshall (Eds.), The Global Economic Crisis: The Great Depression of the XXI Century (pp. 3-60); Roper, Brian S. (2005). Prosperity for All? Economic, Social and Political Change in New Zealand Since 1935. Albany; New Zealand: Cengage Learning.

[18] de Angelis, M. (2001, May). Global capital, abstract labour, and the fractal panopticon. The Commoner. Retrieved from http://www.commoner.org.uk/fractalpanopt.pdf

[19] Klein, Naomi. (2007). The Shock Doctrine.

[20] Shoup, L. H. & Minter, W. (2004 [1977]). Imperial Brain Trust: The Council on Foreign Relations and United States Foreign Policy. New York, NY: Authors Choice Press; Snoopman (2013, August 31). A Poorly Understood Bargain: How Democracy and the 60s Movements Became Orphans in the ‘Free Market’ Era. Snoopman News. Retrieved from snoopman.net.nz

[21] Carroll, W. K. (2010). The Making of a Transnational Capitalist Class: Corporate Power in the 21st Century, p. 205. London: Zed Books.

[22]Looking back on how the neoliberal rationalist paradigm came to be the dominant ideology of our time, BBC filmmaker Adam Curtis found in his 2007 documentary series, The Trap: Episode II, The Lonely Robot, that this ‘battle of ideas’ included the new language and thinking of a technocratic elite. Rationalism here means a methodological pattern of thought that is self-justifying, un-rooted to ethical considerations and which advocates efficiency based on a ready supply of answers that express no doubt (Saul, 1993). The regime of the neocolonial sect redefined workers as human resources and human capital that would perform to ‘numbers’ to fit with the ideology’s central demand: efficiency.

[23] Klein, Naomi. (2007). The Shock Doctrine; Snoopman (2013, August 31). A Poorly Understood Bargain.

[24] Klein, Naomi. (2007). The Shock Doctrine.

[25] Klein, Naomi. (2007). The Shock Doctrine; Whitecross, M & Winterbottom, A. (Directors) & Eaton, A. (Producer). The Shock Doctrine 2009 [Motion picture].  A Renegade Pictures/Revolution Films Production. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iW1SHPgUAQ.

[26] Shoup, L. H. & Minter, W. (2004 [1977]). Imperial Brain Trust.

[27] Douglas, J. (1976, October). The Overloaded Crown. British Journal of Political Science, Vol. 6, No. 4, pp. 483-505.Cambridge University Press.  Retreived from jstor.org.stable/193284; Rose, R. (1979, September). Ungovernability: Is There Fire Behind the Smoke?” Political Studies. Vol. 27 (3), 351-370; Shoup & Minter (2004 [1977]). Imperial Brain Trust.

[28] Chomsky, N. (2006). Failed States: The Abuse of Power and the Assault on Democracy. Crows Nest, NSW, Australia: Allen & Unwin.

[29] Jarecki, Eugene (2006). Why We Fight. [Motion Picture]. Sony Pictures Classics.

30] Hedges, Chris. (2014, January 6). The Last Gasp of American Democracy. Truthout. Retrieved from http://www.truth-out.org/opinion/item/21052-chris-hedges-the-last-gasp-of-american-democracy

[31] Engdahl, F. W. (2009). Gods of Money: Wall Street and the Death of the American Century, p. 273-378 Wiesbaden, Germany: edition.engdahl; Estulin, D. (2009). The True Story of the Bilderberg Group, 137-147. (North American Union ed.). Walterville, OR: Trine Day LLC.

Perloff, J. (2008). The Shadows of Power: The Council on Foreign Relations and the American Decline, 154-166. Appleton, WI: Western Islands. Originally published in 1988; Shoup & Minter 1977: Imperial Brain Trust, p. 254-281.

[32] Technocracy, which was first theorized during the Great Depression of the 1930s, is a construction of the root Greek words “techne” or skill and “kratos” or rule, is a totalitarian system of government administered by scientists, engineers and technicians. See: Wood, Patrick (2011a, January 26). Carbon Currency: A New Beginning for Technocracy? The August Forecast and Review. Retrieved from http://www.augustforecast.com/2010/01/26/carbon-currency-a-new-beginning-for-technocracy/; Wood, Patrick. (2010, March 3) “Smart Grid: The Implementation of Technocracy?” The August Forecast and Review. Retrieved from http://www.augustforecast.com/2010/03/03/smart-grid-the-implementation-of-technocracy-2/; Wood, Patrick. (2011b, June 15). Technocracy’s Endgame: Global Smart Grid. The August Forecast and Review. Retrieved from http://www.augustforecast.com/2011/06/15/technocracys-endgame-global-smart-grid/

[33] Edwards, Steve. (2013). It’s the Financial Oligarchy, Stupid: A study of Anglo-American news coverage during the 2007-2008 financial crisis and bank bailouts. AUT University. Retrieved from http://aut.researchgateway.ac.nz/handle/10292/5536; Wilson, E. (2009). Speed/pure war/power crime: Paul Virilio on the criminogenic accident and the virtual disappearance of the suicidal state. Crime, Law & Social Change, 51, 413-434. doi:10.1007/s10611-008-91687; Wilson, E. (2010, February). Crimes against reality: The global credit crisis, simulation, and criminogenic cyber-capitalism. Paper presented at the International Studies Association Annual Convention, New Orleans, LA. Retrieved from International Studies Association website: http://convention2.allacademic.com/one/isa/isa10/; Wilson, E. (2011). Criminogenic cyber-capitalism: Paul Virlio, simulation, and the global financial crisis. Springer Science+Business Media. doi: 10.1007/s10612-0119139-7.

[34] Carroll, W. K. (2010). The Making of a Transnational Capitalist Class; de Angelis, M. (2001, May). Global capital, abstract labour, and the fractal panopticon; Klein, Naomi. (2007). The Shock Doctrine; Shoup, L. H. & Minter, W. (2004 [1977]). Imperial Brain Trust;  Wilson, E. (2010, February). Crimes against reality: The global credit crisis, simulation, and criminogenic cyber-capitalism. Paper presented at the International Studies Association Annual Convention, New Orleans, LA. Retrieved from International Studies Association website: http://convention2.allacademic.com/one/isa/isa10/; Wood, P. (2011a, January 26). Carbon Currency: A New Beginning for Technocracy?; Wood, P. (2010, March 3) “Smart Grid: The Implementation of Technocracy?”; Wood, P. (2011b, June 15). Technocracy’s Endgame: Global Smart Grid

[35] Gill, S. (1998). New constitutionalism, democratisation and global political economy. Global Change, Peace & Security, 10, 23-38. Retrieved from doi:10.1080/14781159808412845

[36] Gill, S. (1998). New constitutionalism, democratisation and global political economy; Gill, S. R. & Law, D. (1989). Global hegemony and the structural power of capital. International Studies Quarterly, 33: 475-499; Gruber, L. (2000). “Ruling the World: Power Politics and the Rise of Supranational Institutions.” Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

[37] Palan, R., Murphy, R., & Chavagneux, C. (2010). Tax Havens: How Globalization Really Works. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press; Shaxson, N. (2011). Treasure Islands: Uncovering the Damage of Offshore Banking and Tax Havens. New York, NY: Palgrave Macmillan.

[38] Winter, James. (2013, December 8). Mandela’s Dream of Black Power Became a “Neoliberal Nightmare” Global Research. Retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/mandelas-dream-of-black-power-became-a-neoliberal-nightmare/5360825

[39] Winters, J. A. (2011). Oligarchy.

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