Tag Archive | New Zealand Herald

Ponytail Scandal Tape Found! A Serial Ponytail Yanker’s Lasso of Truth Interview

Honest John: Under the influence of the Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

Honest John: Under the influence of the Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

This shocking suppressed interview with the prime minister of the New Zealand realm, John Phillip Key (AKA ‘the Smiling Assassin’), delves deeper into the reasons underpinning the bullying of a waitress by the country’s leader. It was conducted by The New Zealand Herald’s editor, Shayne Currie, who had his ‘plumber mates’ break-in to the world headquarters of Snoopman News Group to steal the most coveted treasure of the media world, Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth.

Snoopman News learned who was behind the break-in, because journalists can’t keep secrets. We confronted Currie, who disclosed that because his newspaper had the scoop on the story of New Zealand’s prime minister’s ponytail-pulling harassment, he said it was crucial to know the truth to better keep track of how it was going to be bent, since gossip columnist Rachel Glucina would create a warped narrative to protect the prime minister. This full transcript is from a BASF cassette recording of The New Zealand’s Herald‘s censored interview with John Key (who has his own copy).

Hi-Fidelity Recording: NZ’s PM makes even the bad times sound good.

Hi-Fidelity Recording: NZ’s PM makes even the bad times sound good.

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Shayne Currie: I’ve read a draft of Amanda Bailey’s [the harassed waitress] account. She mentions the power disparity at play, wherein she is a waitress, and you’re the prime minister, with the protection of two body-guards and in the company of your wife on each of your visits to the Hip Group franchised café, Rosie. She asserts that after you’d pulled her ponytail on numerous occasions, and she’d made it clear by her body language that she didn’t like having her hair pulled, you continued to tug her ponytail. Why did you repeatedly pull waitress Amanda Bailey’s hair like a naughty three year-old?

Operation Ponytail: Hip Group cafe franchise owners with “tantalising ponytail”‘ waitress, who was unwittingly used as a test subject to field trial a new political technique – Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC).

Operation Ponytail: Hip Group cafe franchise owners with “tantalising ponytail”‘ waitress, who was unwittingly used as a test subject to field trial a new political technique – Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC).

John Key: [Chuckles] One reason is we’re experimenting with a new touchy-feely public relations model called Targeted Affection Encounters for Voter Capture (TAEVC), which takes the manipulation of politicians kissing babies to ‘next level’. As you know, National’s (Key’s political party) public relations firm is Crosby Textor. It’s a bit of an Anglo-Saxon political party favourite. Crosby Textor noticed I had a slight hair fetish, called Trichophilia, especially for young fillies, and they saw how we could exploit it by morphing it into the ‘Nice Guy Key’ Brand that we had manufactured for my political assent.

SC: So, Crosby Textor figured this new ‘stock in political-horse trade’ trick could make the Trichophilia appear like fatherly affection, care and attention?

JK: Exactly! It was genius.

A Fetish Outing: Viewers thought it was a wee bit weird.

A Fetish Outing: Viewers thought it was a wee bit weird.

… but didn’t realise this behaviour going ‘next level’.

… but didn’t realise this behaviour going ‘next level’.

SC: But, how would the serial hair-pulling of a waitress help your political party’s re-election bid and beyond? I mean, the waitress claims that she became more direct with her brush-offs, and you then pretended it was your wife Bronagh doing the hair-pulling. Was that like a change of game plan to get ‘a rise’ [heighten the tension] out of her, so you could brag about it with your investment class supporters?

JK: Yep. The idea was that I’d push it into a public social setting, where I’d get more, more, more, you know, triple-more tipsy and brag about my antics-after-dark – for hours – because as Bill English has told journalists, I love to natter at length because I have a big ego.

SC: Let me get this straight. Brag to who exactly?

JK: Brag to National’s hardcore primary constituency, the big donors, who take ‘male entitlement’ as a given, since the term actually means boys and men expect women to serve and be submissive to jerks like us.

SC: But, why?

 

SEE FULL STORY at snoopman.net.nz: THE CENSORED EXCLUSIVE: A Serial Ponytail Yanker’s Lasso of Truth Interview [Full Transcript, 13 April 2015] http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2727

Related article: “Prime Minister is Best ‘dadD’: New Zealand Newspaper Declares John Key ‘Our Father of the Year’ as 2015 Turns 5 Months-old”
http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=2801

 

INOCULATING “PORTRAIT OF A PRIME MINISTER”

Launch-day Set Piece: Smirking biographer John Roughan downplayed the political bias behind the book project on TV One‘s “Breakfast” news show.

Launch-day Set Piece: Smirking biographer John Roughan downplayed the political bias behind the book project on TV One‘s “Breakfast” news show.

By Snoopman

Denying the PR-Strategy Behind NZ PM’s ‘Unauthorised’ Bio

During an interview with the biographer of an ‘unauthorized’ bio on New Zealand’s prime minister John Key, “Breakfast” programme (June 26, 2014) host Rawdon Christie inoculated the key weakness of the book project: its inherent bias.

Inoculation is a public relations (PR) tactic where the weakness of the matter at hand is acknowledged, then quickly brushed aside. The intention is that news audience thinks nothing more of it, satisfied that there is nothing under-handed to see, as the documentary The Hollow Men showed.

The One News television broadcaster asked biographer John Roughan, a senior columnist for the corporately-biased New Zealand Herald, if he expected there would be criticism of the timing of the biography, given there is a general election in September.

Roughan downplayed the political strategy, essentially saying it was an economically motivated one. “We wanted to get the book out before an election, ’cause elections are so risky, anything can happen. And who knows where he’ll be in six months time. Right now, we think there’s an interest in him, there’s a market for knowing more about John Key and his life,” Roughan said.

While asking the biographer if there were a political conspiracy behind the timing of the book, Christie feigned to stammer as he asked the question.

“Yeah, but, ah, this isn’t some sort of, aah, political, aah, sort of a, conspiracy to try and give him some PR? Mind you, does he need the extra PR right now?” asked Christie smirking his way through the ‘stammering ritual’.

“No, he doesn’t,” said biographer John Roughan.

This part of the interview was the only place where the One News “Breakfast” host stammered in his performance. The ‘stammering ritual’ creates the effect that only those who have trouble stringing a sentence together would think such things.

Propaganda as Portrait: The biography was inoculated before book stores opened nationwide.

Propaganda as Portrait: The biography was inoculated before book stores opened nationwide.

 

Locating Conspiracy: The New Zealand Political Context

Conspiracies are secret agreements for political gain to the detriment of society. They can occur even where the projects are well-publicized. The vital point is the intent behind the project is hidden. Given that the Key government is advancing a Shock Doctrine ‘free market’ economic framework, such as nationwide state-housing evictions amid a ‘strategic sabotage of society’ to widen inequality, those key insiders behind this book are seeking to hide the purpose of their project, while ‘painting’ a propagandist portrait of John Key.

Christie’s ‘tell’ that he has just ‘successfully’ pulled off this vital ‘inoculation ritual’, is his “Umm” as he moves on. It is an unintentional stammer that P.R.-trained professionals and politicians do as they pass through the tricky bit.

State broadcaster One News has billed the biography as an ‘unauthorized bio’. Indeed, the One News “Breakfast” host asked, “It’s an unofficial biography is it?”, and did not wait for an answer. The biographer did not correct him either, but instead smirked. The article with the video clip explains it this way:

“The biography is unauthorised, meaning Mr Key wasn’t allowed to read it until it had gone to print, and wasn’t able to veto any of the copy. However, he did give extensive interviews for it.”

In a parallel universe to the Media Propaganda-Public Relations-Psychological Operations State-Corporate Complex, an ‘unauthorized biography’ means a work about the life of a person that is written without their help. ‘Help’ is a word that is best friends with the word ‘cooperation’. Yet, as the biographer himself acknowledges, John Key provided several lengthy interviews for the book project!

Best Friends Tweet: Snoopman News explains to One News that the difference between (un)authorized in a biography project is to do with how friendly help is cooperation.

Best Friends Tweet: Snoopman News explains to One News that the difference between (un)authorized in a biography project is to do with how friendly help is cooperation.

Whilst at face value there is nothing wrong with writing a biased biography that is promoted as an opportunity to make the most of ‘market interest’, there is something deeply wrong with two major media outlets colluding to downplay the inherent political strategy in the lead up to the September 20 nationwide election.

It is also disturbing given it occurs amid the continued application of the Shock Doctrine, a stealthy project that is used to mete-out a ‘strategic sabotage of society’, while the dominant coalitions of capitalists accumulate more power through outsized economic gain made by exploiting engineered economic crises.

Furthermore, it is disturbing because this unacknowledged application of the Shock Doctrine is a conspiracy that has involved both National and Labour-led governments since 1984. It relies on mass populaces everywhere not knowing about it, as Canadian journalist Naomi Klein states in the documentary, The Shock Doctrine.

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By day, Snoopman works undercover as an ordinary mortal, editing news at a television station. By night, Snoopman researches the wicked deeds of the powerful, and is Editor-in-Chief at Snoopman News. (See Snoopman News for pictures and sourced references).

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The inoculation tactic is at the 2 minute 30 second mark: John Key ‘lives life on the edge’ – biographer at: http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/john-key-lives-life-edge-biographer-6012513

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Other Sources:

The Hollow Men at: http://www.nzonscreen.com/title/the-hollow-men-2008

The Difference Between Authorized and Unauthorized Biographies

http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/questions-and-quandaries/autobiography-writing/the-difference-between-authorized-and-unauthorized-biographies

For a definition on conspiracies, see page 21 of “It’s the Financial Oligarchy, Stupid” at http://aut.researchgateway.ac.nz/handle/10292/5536

Barry, Alistair. (1995). Someone Else’s Country. [Motion Picture]. Vanguard Films. Retrieved from http://www.nzonscreen.com/title/someone-elses-country-1996; Barry, Alistair. (2002). In a Land of Plenty. [Motion Picture]. Vanguard Films. Retrieved from http://www.nzonscreen.com/title/in-a-land-of-plenty-2002 [In 5-part video segments].

Snoopman. (2014, June 6). Hate Speech Defends NZ PM’s Alliances. Snoopman News. Retrieved fromhttp://snoopman.net.nz/2014/06/06/hate-speech-defends-pms-alliances/

Whitecross, M & Winterbottom, A. (Directors) & Eaton, A. (Producer). The Shock Doctrine 2009 [Motion picture].  A Renegade Pictures/Revolution Films Production. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iW1SHPgUAQ.

 

Related:  See “Conjuring the Smiling Assassin” at Snoopman News
http://snoopman.net.nz/?p=1610
#KeyBStardProject

 

Lorde Censored: The Queen Bee’s Suppressed Grammy Speech

Click the PDF link: lordegrammyspeech

To see

  • Front-page news in New Zealand
  • Lorde’s censored handwritten Grammy speech
  • Full Transcript (with citations) of Lorde’s speech

lordeheraldfrontsmall

See the Full Story: Royal Pencil in Print: Lorde’s suppressed Grammy speech makes front-page news in far-flung New Zealand

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Snoopman News: The revolution in your mind will not be televised!

Royal Pencil in Print: Lorde’s suppressed Grammy speech makes front-page news in far-flung New Zealand

Scene Stealing: New Zealand’s leading ‘national’ newspaper tries to scoop a big story.

Scene Stealing: New Zealand’s leading ‘national’ newspaper tries to scoop a big story.

See Lorde Censored: The Queen Bee’s Suppressed Grammy Speech at https://snoopman.wordpress.com/2014/02/16/lorde-censored-the-queen-bees-suppressed-grammy-speech/

To See:

  • Front-page news in New Zealand
  • Lorde’s censored handwritten Grammy speech
  • Full Transcript (with citations) of Lorde’s speech

Visit: Snoopman News on Facebook

By Sophia Bigg-Storm

15 February 2014

Belated ‘Scoop’

New Zealand’s leading daily newspaper, The New Zealand Herald, published a hand-written copy of Lorde’s censored Grammy Award speech on its front-page yesterday, February 14.

The New Zealand Herald is the first major news outlet in the world to publish the suppressed speech. But, The New Zealand Herald presented the story on the front-page as though the ‘national’ newspaper had the scoop that Lorde’s Grammy speech had been censored. (See: Grammy Speech Censored). The teaser line at the bottom invited readers to view the full speech “sent to The New Zealand Herald by Lorde”, while the accompanying article, “Queen Bee Stung” on page 2 implied that the newspaper had published the hand-written speech as soon as they confirmed it was genuine.

However, Snoopman News scooped the story “Clipping Queen Bee’s Wings: Lorde’s real Grammy speech suppressed” on February 6.

Lorde Censored: Behind the suppression of the Queen Bee's Grammy speech. See the Snoopman News scoop, published February 6.

Lorde Censored: Behind the suppression of the Queen Bee’s Grammy speech. See the Snoopman News‘ scoop, published February 6.

Snoopman News reported that Lorde shocked the Grammy audience with a lecture-like speech that was a scathing indictment of global capitalism. Lorde told the audience that the world was ruled by well-resourced, highly networked super-rich people who use their “outrageous fortunes” to employ “[a]rmies of professional, political, religious and military elites” to make the world secure for their power structures.

But, the apparent ‘live’ broadcast had a one-minute delay and was switched to a ‘rehearsal take’ that had been shot earlier when it became apparent that Lorde was not going to waste the opportunity to outline why the world needs to remove the planet’s ruling classes from power, by thanking people already listed on her album, Pure Heroine.

The Grammy studio had taken the precaution of shooting ‘rehearsal takes’ for all of the nominees, so that if any winners talked for too long or if their speeches or outfits revealed contents that breached its censorship rating, such embarrassing moments could be edited.

A typed copy of the censored speech was initially sourced from Lorde by Snoopman News after the singer-songwriter returned to her home economy, New Zealand, and realized there had been a media black-out. The story “Clipping Queen Bee’s Wings: Lorde’s real Grammy speech suppressed” went viral over the internet after Snoopman News published the scoop on February 6. The same day, Snoopman News also published a full transcript of the speech, complete with citations, that shows Lorde had backed her attack on the world’s rulers with solid research.

A video of Lorde delivering what was described as an “oratory nuclear-bomb shell” by the journalist that broke the story, Iggy Swind, initially kept getting taken down on You Tube, (and is currently going viral on the web). The video shows that at first the elite of the USA America music industry gathered at the Staples Center, a sports stadium, laughed, when Lorde said, “Thankyou everyone soo much for making this song explode because this world is mental.”

However, the video shows the mood quickly changed as the composed singer-songwriter continued unfazed, despite having just won two Grammy awards, Best Solo Pop Performance and Song of the Year, for her hit single ‘Royals’.

Royal Lecture: Ella Yelich-O'Connor A.K.A. Lorde educates  elites at the 56th Grammy Awards.

Royal Lecture: Ella Yelich-O’Connor A.K.A. Lorde educates USA America music industry elites at the 56th Grammy Awards.

“Planet Earth is run by psychopaths that hide behind slick marketing, ‘freedom’ propaganda and ‘economic growth’ rhetoric, while they construct a global system of corporatized totalitarianism”, said the singer-songwriter as she eyed the music industry audience.

Lorde told her captive and now quiet audience that a USA American journalist called Chris Hedges had recently reported that a corporate form of totalitarianism was responsible for what she said the news media was hiding: the rapid militarization of the planet to gain permanent dominance over the world.

To scoop, or not to scoop

Lorde had sent a copy of the Grammy speech to The New Zealand Herald before she scooped-up the two Grammies. The ‘national’ newspaper was meant to publish the speech if Lorde won and spoke what was really on her mental mind to the elite of the USA America music industry.

But, following the Grammy studio’s on-air censorship of Lorde’s speech, an “executive decision” was made at The New Zealand Herald to shelve the hand-written copy. Lorde’s speech evidently sat on top of a filing cabinet in the newsroom, where it languished for two and a half weeks.

So, in a way, The New Zealand Herald did have the scoop of Lorde’s censored Grammy speech. However, the speech, which was written with a purple eye-liner pencil, was published by The New Zealand Herald in response to a ‘Full Transcript’ copy that had also gone viral on the internet this week.

Filtering ‘the news’: The speech The New Zealand Herald left on top of a filing cabinet to gather dust.

Filtering ‘the news’: The speech The New Zealand Herald left on top of a filing cabinet to gather dust.

The scoop, “Clipping Queen Bees Wings: Lorde’s real Grammy speech suppressed”, by Snoopman News, and the accompanying ‘Full Transcript’ has drawn over 1,000,000 visitors to the up-start news outlet’s website since launching its Facebook page “Snoopman News” on Monday February 10. The story spread mostly via Facebook and has been re-posted on multiple blog-sites.

New Zealand Herald editor Shayne Currie said defensively, “We had to print Lorde’s censored speech because our shareholders started screaming at us down the phone saying ‘why didn’t you get this scoop?’ ” The newspapers’ investors had seen the ‘Full Transcript’ of Lorde’s suppressed Grammy speech on their Facebook news feeds and had lamented the lost advertising revenue and the forgone sales to the mediocre daily.

Currie said he got hot under the collar, not least because The New Zealand Herald never publishes the likes of Lorde’s speech, or other well-researched arguments, on its front-page. “That would give-away a ‘big-picture’ view of the private political system that uses economic means as its form of social control, capitalism”. (See: Grammy Speech Censored).

Usually investors are risk-averse to such exposures, but said Currie, “The Herald has been leaching readers because we’ve bent and stretched the boundaries of the mediocre so far, New Zealanders are realizing they can’t take anymore of our Holy ‘free market’ Crap”.

In a conference call with The New Zealand Herald‘s owners, Currie answered-back. “I said to the investors, “We didn’t print the hand-written speech at the time, because our news is driven by focused-group survey formulas, the regurgitation of corporate-biased syndicated feeds from other transnational news corporations, and press releases curried into something resembling stories to fulfill our end of the low-level bribes we receive from PR companies on a daily basis,” Currie proudly confided.

At this point in the interview, Currie misread my surprise that he was being so candid, for a social-media era ‘Like’ that he had been ‘ballsy’. He added, “In a news market where there’s only four major players, a cartel if you will, we had an obligation to our investors to try to steal the thunder of bloody Snoopnews or whatever it’s called, because undermining new market entrants is part of the cartel game”.

The newspaper editor stated that when a famous seventeen year-old school-girl essentially explains that to be super-rich, a vast pool of poor people is needed to work in a massive web of transnational corporations, it made his job as a media missionary for global capitalism more tricky.

Queen Bee Sting: Grammy audience told to read more.

Queen Bee Sting: Grammy audience told to read more.

Trumped by Samoan cleaners

Shayne Currie’s missionary work became trickier this week when two Samoan cleaners had found Lorde’s penciled speech one evening on a filing cabinet in The New Zealand Herald’s newsroom, just as news of its suppression was going viral. According to The New Zealand Herald editor, the cleaners, who are spouses, had taken “selfies” on a cellphone with The New Zealand Herald’s copy of Lorde’s hand-written speech and posted them on Facebook. Currie worries that the couple will become ‘celebrity cleaners’.

“It was a bit of an embarrassment because they took it in reception with The Herald’s branding behind them”, acknowledged Currie the way sheep would if they could speak Kiwilish.

In the silence, he added, “Besides, we would have looked like eggs if we didn’t print the speech.”

“It’s going to make it harder to keep up the ‘free market’ propaganda, when we’re going to be known for employing Samoan ‘celebrity cleaners’, who hold-down six jobs between them to put food on their family. And, as the New Zealand economy’s leading newspaper, whose Samoan ‘celebrity cleaners’ knew a scoop when they saw it and became famous for posting pictures of themselves on Facebook with the censored speech found on the filing cabinet in our newsroom”, moaned Currie.

Still, he said cheering himself up, “when you get gems like this quote from the Samoan cleaners, there’s value in printing them because its rebuilds your audience when you’ve lost legitimacy”, said Currie grinning over his i-Phone.

“Lorde, we luff yoo”, read Currie. “Yoo speek hour tru feelin hart. Dose boss palangi and deer brown, yellow n black sellout bros needs ta go ta chail. Not go paast Go with 200 billonairs, for ta jenoside yoo say n yur speek. XXX ta Falamoe familee”.

And then a sinking feeling came over Currie’s face when he suddenly realized that he confided too much.

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American journalist Sophia Bigg-Storm tried to break the story that World I and World II were conjured by an Anglo-American Brotherhood who conspired to dominant the world by controlling oil and finance, through a system enforced by military aggression, subversion and other intrigues.  Her sleuth-work was supported by William Engdahl, author of works such as, Gods of Money and A Century of War; and also by Guido Giacomo Preparata, who wrote Conjuring Hitler. Bigg-Storm’s investigations were suppressed by her former employer, The National Enquirer.

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See Lorde Censored: The Queen Bee’s Suppressed Grammy Speech at https://snoopman.wordpress.com/2014/02/16/lorde-censored-the-queen-bees-suppressed-grammy-speech/

To See:

  • Front-page news in New Zealand
  • Lorde’s censored handwritten Grammy speech
  • Full Transcript (with citations) of Lorde’s speech

And also:

Behind the suppression of the Queen Bee’s Grammy speech: “Clipping Queen Bee’s Wings: Lorde’s real Grammy speech suppressed”
https://snoopman.wordpress.com/2014/02/06/clipping-queen-bees-wings-lordes-real-grammy-spe…

See the inside story behind Lorde’s epic rise “Queen Bee Mentor: The professor who fed Lorde’s mental buzz” at https://snoopman.wordpress.com/2014/02/06/queen-bee-mentor-the-professor-who-fed-lordes-mental-buzz/

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Snoopman News: http://snoopman.net.nz

Facebook: Snoopman News

Twitter: Snoopman@SnoopmanNews

Snoopman News: The revolution in your mind will not be televised!
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